[Editors Note: The video embedding caused issues for people viewing the site with the Edge browser. Embedding has been removed. Links to short videos of cute dogs playing: 1, 2, 3.]

Hopefully that movie will embed.  Failing that, hopefully you can watch it on your own device.  Failing that, I apologize.  And if you don’t accept the apology then fuck you, I’ve got stars to read.

Kind of an odd week, actually.  Two days of import:  Wednesday would be a good time to have a date with the moon and Venus boosting your chances of getting lucky — though only with your legitimate partner.  No cheating!  Friday has a four-planet construction that bodes well if you’re trying to buy/build a house, but potentially catastrophic if you already own one.  Like an “impromptu remodel to add a new door/window/skylight” sort of thing.

This year has seen most of the primary signs get shafted during their months, and the trend continues.  Leo loses its lucky mojo as Mercury scoots on over to Virgo.  At the same time, Venus is hold back over in Cancer.  So Leo faces a time of not quite being able to get everything together that you’d wanted to.  The good news for Leo is that Saturn Retrograde is at its back, so that influence is, if not off the table, at least in the next room getting a refill on drinks and maybe some more cocktail meatballs.

So, let’s just take a minute to notice something about this week’s draw.  Lots of wands being drawn.  There are metaphorical interpretations of this suit, but they are all metaphoric or semantic extensions of the concrete symbolism of the suit which is:  a penis.  So many dicks this week.

Leo:  Death reversed – Birth.

Virgo:  5 of Wands (five young dudes in tights swinging “wands” at each other.  Big, girthy wands.) – Imitation, “strenuous competition, struggle.”

Libra:  The Magician – Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies, self-confidence, will.

Scorpio:  The Hermit reversed – Concealment, disguise, policy, fear, unreasoned caution.

Sagittarius: Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude.

Capricorn:  Strength reversed – Weakness.

Aquarius:  4 of wands reversed – Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

Pisces:  6 of Wands – Triumph, great news, expectation crowned with its own desire.

Aries:  Ace of Wands reversed – Fall, decadence, ruin, perdition.

Taurus:  9 of Cups – Concord, contentment, physical bien-être, victory, success, advantage, satisfaction.

Gemini:  The Blank Card – All augurs are currently busy, please try again later.

Cancer:  3 of Swords reversed – Mental alienation, error, loss, distraction, disorder, confusion.