Barron Trump 'saved woman's life' by calling 999 as his friend was 'being attacked' during FaceTime call, court hears Donald Trump's youngest son saved the life of a woman in London by phoning the police when he witnessed her being beaten up over a video call, a court...
“But what is it, Father?” Barron asked as he circled the enormous model that dominated The Oval Office. “Greenland, Son,” Donald said. “It shall be yours once I wrest it away from the Swedes.” “Wrest,” the hat said. “Now that’s a good word.” “I told you the Word of...
In case you are not terminally online, this is the reference point for the last post: Can this be anything but a sexual fantasy? I actually enjoy this level of self-reporting through unhinged rant. This is one of the dumbest fucking slogans imaginable. What does it...
Comin’ from Uranus to trick your style!
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 178.5
(Joemala: Episode 10)
ACID PARTY
“I wash myself with a rag on a stick.”
And, as far as I can tell, she was born female.
Oranges and lemons,
Say the bells of St. Clement’s.
No love’s as random as God’s love.
Your prayers will never be answered again.
Foul language ahead
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 175.5
(Joemala: Episode 9)
Where the stars should have been
Nothing but black holes
Recount
Panic!
Damn you, Chuck Todd
Links! Bring out your Links!
You bring the fire axe down on the padlock of the rolling door as hard as you can. You strike the body of the lock more than the shank, and the door makes a loud, booming rattle. You look around guiltily but the area is mostly dark warehouses and empty buildings...
Alone now in the wilds of suburban Connecticut, you ditch your weapons and vest in a nearby dumpster and run. You only make it a few blocks before a police car nails you with a searchlight. “STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!” the police car PA screeches. You freeze in place....
Happy Halloween!
As you walk down the left tunnel, the voice comes one more time, faint and fading, “Kyle…” You break out into a jog, the lights in the tunnel passing over your head in a blur. You look back, to see if anything is following you, it feels like something is following...
You use the fire axe to pry off the boards across the door and set them aside. The squeaking of the nails as you pull them out seems loud in the quiet night. You try the door and the knob turns. A quick look with the flashlight shows you that the lock on the inside...
The door to the Presidential Emergency Shelter is plastered with stickers: FALLOUT SHELTER BIOHAZARD SHELTER TORNADO SHELTER ALIEN INVASION SHELTER COMMIE PROOF NEGRO PROOF (with a scribbled note in Sharpie “I got in! -OB”) HIPPIE PROOF DISCO PROOF COBAIN-RESISTANT TO...
You stand and say, as loudly as you can, “HILLARY CLINTON! WHERE ARE YOUR EMAILS?!” She turns and hisses like a teakettle. “WHO DARES?” she screams. You nail her in her pendulous breast with a piece of snapped off stalagmite and start down the narrow stairs carved...