LOS ANGELES - "While it appears that this is an extermination campaign, it has largely spared rural America...
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Democrats Push to Lower Retirement Age to 18
WASHINGTON DC - "Universal Basic Income doesn't go far enough. It's high time we freed the American people...
Pandemic Forces Antifa to Drop Masks and Don Pointy, White Hoods
PORTLAND - "It was a tough decision, but it had to be made," said Comrade Rainbow Manatee, an Antifa group...
Biden Promises to Fix Climate Change if Greta Thunberg Lets Him Sniff Her Hair
STOCKHOLM - Thunberg spoke about the possible deal at a press conference. "These past few weeks have been...
Trump Says AOC Can be President if She Sits in Corner of Oval Office
WASHINGTON DC - Trump invited select members of the press, mainly reporters from Weekly World News, to the...
US Dollar Hospitalized After Stimulus Overdose
WASHINGTON - Tragedy struck yesterday as the world's reserve currency was rushed to the ICU. Outside the...
Injun Zombie Presidential Candidate #6: Failure
A week had passed since her fateful run-in with Charlie and the Scientist, but the shock had still not worn...
Creaking Tiger, Slack-Ass Dragon
Jill Biden strode to the hook-hung pig carcass, barefoot in her compression shorts and sports bra. She...
Bernie Sanders Says There Were “Very Fine People on Both Sides of the Iron Curtain”
MIAMI - Controversy erupted as Democratic presidential hopeful Sanders seemingly praised murderous communist...
Biden Wins Grand Prize at Gibberish Olympics
DUBLIN - Held in honor of James Joyce, the Gibberish Olympics bring together the world's greatest...