“Mr. President! Mr. President!” the reporter called. “You’ll have to speak up!” Donald replied. “MR....

  “Your breasts are a common good,” Bernie said, never breaking eye contact with her chest. It was two...

  “Beto is out! He’s out of the primary race!” the hat crowed. He farted with manic glee. “Who?” Donald...

  “Nothing is ever good enough for these fuckers, you know?” the hat asked the hair. “Hmm,” the hair...

  “Facebook?” the hair asked. “Of course,” the hat replied. “CNN?” “Yes, of course.” “Google? Apple?...

  Hillary’s stomach rumbled and she growled, “I hunger,” in the dark confines of the limousine. “We’re...

  “You’ve got to stop tweeting,” the hair said. The air in the Oval Office had gone hot and acrid. The...

  “Impeachment,” Hillary said, gently drawing a shaking claw down his face. Her breath was low tide and...