So, I had the beach-towniest encounter today. Went looking for an open place to rent kayaks, and stopped at the local fresh seafood store because those are usually run by families who have boats. Picked up a six-pack of Oyster Bay Mill Pond Dirty Blonde, talked to the lady about fresh oysters (its been cold here, so I’m disregarding the “r” month rule), and asked if she knew anyone who was renting kayaks right now. She says, “hold on.” Turns around and says to one of her friends behind the counter, “hey, this gentleman [I was wearing close-toed shoes] wants to rent a kayak.” Five minutes later, I have a deal to rent a double kayak and a standup paddle board for the rest of the week, vests, paddles, to be delivered, $100 cash when the boats show up. Also, they’re gonna call me when the oysters come in fresh. If only meth was this easy to score.

Congratulations, you can now live openly with your brother-husbands! Polygamy is no longer a felony.

The House goes big with a $3T COVID relief bill, including removing SALT tax exemption caps.

Dr. Fauci, heartthrob, claims that coronavirus still more dangerous than not having money.

FAKE NEWS! Or maybe not. I’ve seen about half a dozen people on my beach today.