Scene from my teen years.

Shit’s about to get real. Now in a very white, very Mormon, and very well-armed area like ours, I expect almost no ado, a paucity of donnybrooks, grim and bear it. And even downtown Mesa or Phoenix are so filled with the equivalent of rooftop Koreans, there’s unlikely to be much serious consciousness-raising going on. But San Francisco? Seattle? New York? Chicago? I predict “so ugly that you can make popcorn using the heat from the burning buildings.” So this could be it. If not, and everything stays more-or-less calm, I’ll spend my next Links pretending that I never made this prediction.

I won’t pretend about birthdays, however, because they include the William Henry Harrison of Tibet; the German who originated the idea of the Plate Job; a guy who was the opposite of an ignorant slut; a guy who inspired the most hilariously clumsy and awful movie in modern history with his hilariously clumsy and awful “song”; a guy whose life you couldn’t possibly make up; and what happens when Eraserhead writes country music.

Let’s see if there’s any hope to be had in the News.

 

This is an interesting experiment in achieving herd immunity.

 

Mitch shows he can troll pretty well himself.

 

This term means something very different where I come from.

 

Is this breathtakingly dishonest? Or breathtakingly stupid? You decide.

 

It’s like he’s doing shit at random.

 

Best. Possible. Timeline.

Speaking in Flint, Michigan, Biden joked of Trump, “When you were in high school, wouldn’t you have liked to take a shot?” The Democrat then mocked the president as a “macho man” and called him “weak.”

Biden’s reference to “taking a shot” at Trump was reminiscent of remarks Biden made at least twice before indicating he’d fight the president if both were younger. Trump, too, on Saturday suggested he could beat up Biden if given the chance and suggested the former vice president wears sunglasses to cover up “surgery on the eyes.”

“Remember when he said he’d like to take me to the back of the barn?” Trump asked.

He then waved his hand, suggesting he could easily topple Biden.

“He’s not a big guy,” Trump said of his Democratic opponent. “A slight slap, you wouldn’t have to close your fist.”

 

Halloween Safety Tips:

 

Nope.

Well, if we’re going out, let’s go out with a song, Old Guy Music style.