Sunday morning. It’s eerily quiet. Did people damage themselves last night and sleeping it off? Are they all at goyish church this morning? Has Chicxulub returned?

Birthdays today include a guy who made your bumpers possible; a guy who… hey, does anyone have some filter jokes?; the one guy who wasn’t angry; one of the extinct old fashioned liberals, you know, the honest ones; a guy who actually DID herd cats; the godfather of glam; a guy who coined the best quote ever about Reggie Jackson and George Steinbrenner; a fantastic jazz singer who ought to be better known; a piece of shit who would have been much better AFTER the woodchipper; a guy who symbolized everything wrong with the ’70s and ’80s Team Red; an absolutely fantastic drummer; an equally fantastic guitarist; one of the inventors of Shake and Bake; a woman whose nipples shook the world; and a guy who proved that a successful entertainer doesn’t have to actually be entertaining.

Let’s go all newsy and shit.

 

Well, this will help keep the White House liquor bill down.

 

Fuck. Right. Off.

 

At least he was wearing his mask.

 

Not a good look, guys. Uh, gays. 

 

“Horrified.” No one hurt, but they mourn the building.

 

“Is it safe?

 

Old Guy Music will get you hopping.