Jen’s fingers slithered through Ukpi’s labia, seeking, seeking, seeking warmth and moisture.

“I want to take this mask off,” Jen said. “Why did I have to get COVID now, when I have found such sensuous lover?”

“I hope I didn’t give it to you,” Ukpi whispered through her mask.

“Nonsense,” Jen said, licking the girl’s small breasts through the mask.

“That feels weird, please stop.”

Jen groaned and then squeed in frustration. She spun the girl around, tore off her own mask and began to frantically tongue her puckered butthole.

“It can pass through anal contact, you know,” Ukpi said. “Remember when China wanted to screen with anal swabs?”

“Unh, uh,” Jen grunted before she broke off. “We’re both been vaccinated. We can’t pass it or catch it.”

“Then why did you test positive?” Ukpis asked, turning. She pushed Jen back on the bed and latched on to her pink clitoris like a remora.

“My filthy baby probably infected me,” Jen said, squirming, breathless, “Or my fat shit of a husband.”

Ukpi choked a little, coughed on Jen’s vulva, and went back to work.

“We can’t catch it,” Jen gasped. “We can’t catch it.”

“Yes, you can,” Ukpi said, looking up, her face glistening. “I’m not vaccinated.”

“What?” Jen said, scrambling up the bed to pull away.

“I had it already,” Ukpi said. “I have natural immunity.”

“Natural immunity?!?” Jen screeched “Th-there’s no such thing!”

“What are you talking about?” Ukpi stood at the end of the bed, resplendent, nude.

“No vaccination?” Jen said, grabbing a pillow to cover her pinkening shame. “No vaccination?!? How did they even let you in the building?!?”

“I filled out my vaccination card in Korean,” Ukpi said.

Jen gasped dramatically.

“Are we done here?” Ukpi asked, waving her hands at her smooth and hairless crotch.

“D-don’t touch me!” Jen screamed.

Ukpi sighed and picked through the clothes on the floor until she found her underpants and pulled them on.

“You’re one of those domestic terrorists,” Jen said, “You caused all the supply chain problems. You are going to make us cancel Thanksgiving! I’m ruined, I’m ruined!”

“I’m less likely to catch COVID and pass it to someone else than you,” Ukpi said, buttoning her shirt.

Jen screamed and covered her ears to drown her out.

Ukpi sighed. “I think you only really liked this because I was so servile.”

Jen’s eyes widened and she dove for her purse. “Unclean,” she chanted, “Unclean, unclean, unclean.”

Upki, dressed, sighed again and watched Jen fumble to get out a tub of hand sanitizer.

“You fired!” Jen said. “Fired!”

“You’re firing the intern you’ve been sleeping with?” Ukpi asked.

“I’m firing the North Korean spy sent here to kill the President of the United States!” Jen said.

“I was born in Denver,” Ukpi said, beginning to scroll through her phone. “You better get dressed, ma’am. Virginia just flipped red.”

“Impossible,” Jen muttered. “Unclean. Unclean. I’ll have to wake the President.”

Jen rubbed a handful of sanitizer all over her face and eyes and ears, keening as it burned. She ate another handful outright, gagging–slathering it on her breasts, her stomach, buttcheeks–pale skin going red. She tensed, slapped the last handful into her crotch, collapsed.

On the bedside table, Jen’s phone began to squawk, “CODE BROWN! CODE BROWN!”

“Oh, he’s awake,” Ukpi said.

Jen began to cry.

“I guess this is it, huh?” Upki asked.

“Unclean,” Jen blubbered.

Ukpi snorted in disgust. “It doesn’t actually smell like strawberries, you know,” she said and closed the door behind her.

“Forgive me, Joe. Forgive me,” Jen said into the filthy carpet of the White House intern rec room. “Forgive me.”