When I saw the card in my inbox at Glibs HQ, I knew it was going to be time to hit the road. At least it wasn’t something with the cryptids this time…
“I am strong. This I know.” mused Mayor Warty Hugeman of Strongville. “But am I the Strongest? This, I must determine. Karl!”
In came Mayor Hugeman’s Chief of Staff, hefting a Swedish axe of fine make. “Boss? You need a tree felled?”
“Not at the moment, Karl. We need to plan a fest…a StrongFest. Invite the strongest in the land to it. Oh, and get a few media types here, I want to make sure word of StrongFest gets to all who lift moar.”
“On it, boss!” Karl departed, swinging the axe in short, neat swings.
I noticed that the denizens of Strongville were exceedingly swole. I felt like a skinny 10 year old who had wandered into an NFL locker room. But I was here to observe and write, not be part of the StrongFest. I made my way from the booths hawking supplements, lifting belts and shoes… past the SQUAT MOAR banners and 100 lbs stone ball jugglers, toward the town square. Yes, here is where the main event would take place.
Mayor Hugeman had decreed a series of lifts – Squats, Deadlifts, Bench Press, and Farmer Carries would determine who was strong, stronger and the STRONKEST. A curious thing to me was that there was no mention of prizes or such. Might have just been an oversight on the printing of the flyers. No matter, as I had managed to find a spot at the edge of the crowd to observe. There was about 40 tons of muscle, on a stage, in the middle of the square.
“Yes, some worthy opponents here” mused Warty. “But I will force them to acknowledge my STRONKNESS.”
“Let us begin!”
The Mayor opened the Fest by picking up a 250 lbs pair of scissors and shearing a large red Kevlar ribbon in twain. I gave a bit of a gasp of surprise, but the crowd was merely nodding. They were simply acknowledging that a small piece of etiquette had been observed or the like. The next few hours were a blur of muscle and iron.
Stupendous amounts of weight were lifted, occasionally a rectum prolapsed or a tendon ruptured. These unfortunates were greeted with polite applause, or jeers – depending on how they bore up to their injuries. Numbers flashed across the large digital boards set along the square. Soon, the weight totals outstripped the boards’ number of digit places.
“Bah. Inferior make” sneered Warty. He had finished a deadlift of epic mass and the bar had bent under the vast number of plates. Warty deftly spun the bar around and twisted it into a perfect bosun’s knot. This was greeted with good natured applause and shouts of artistic appreciation.
The last lift was up…Farmer’s Carry. The remaining uninjured contestants put on quite a display…how could they carry so much so far? But it appeared they were doing it wrong.
“FOOLS!” Warty roared. The remaining opponents shivered. A bewildered Mennonite farm family was hustled up on stage. “THIS. IS. A. FARMERS. CARRY.” The words came out in precise bursts as Warty hefted the entire family – Father, mother, 5 children of varying ages – up and carried them…. all the way to their farm on the edge of town. The crowd followed along laughing, applauding, throwing belts, lifting gloves and shoes into the air. Festive clouds of chalk burst forth. The Mayor of Strongville set the farm family down on their front porch and bid them good day.
By the time the crowd made it’s way back to the square, it had been transformed from a competition stage to an award stand. First, those that had set a new Personal Record were given elaborate cards with a “PR” calligraphed on it, with the number and name of the lift they had established their new best. Warty casually looked at a handful given to him and muttered something about “Fine work, Jesse” before setting them aside. Then the final standings were announced…
No surprise, Warty Hugeman had placed 1st. The runners up were announced and they took their places on the stand. To my shock and horror, Warty reached down, and seized the first runner up and swiftly devoured him.
“First Runner Up”
I was frozen in a mix of horror and incredulity. I noticed, however, that there were no objections voiced, no attempts to stop the ravenous champion. I only heard a few muttered “protein!” and similar remarks. As I backed away from the crowd, I saw the contestants that had PR cards fingering them nervously. None of them were harmed. The fourth runner up, however, fared the same as the first. I picked up my pace until I reached my rental car.
As I sped out of Strongville, I saw a final banner fluttering over the main road… “STRONGFEST. THERE ARE NO WINNERS, ONLY SURVIVORS.”
I think the announcement had it slightly off, it should’ve been Beer * Wine * LIVE FOOD ENTERTAINMENT.
STEVE SMITH ATTEND, GIVE LIVE RAPE ENTERTAINMENT.
YES, IT ENTERTAIN STEVE SMITH!
A little cannibalism never hurt anyone.
You need plenty of protein for gainz, after all.
A little cannibalism never hurt anyone.
Except the 1st and 4th runners up.
“Hey, this isn’t our farm!” cried the Mennonites (after Warty left).
A bewildered Mennonite farm family was hustled up on stage. “THIS. IS. A. FARMERS. CARRY.” The words came out in precise bursts as Warty hefted the entire family – Father, mother, 5 children of varying ages – up and carried them…. all the way to their farm on the edge of town.
Nicely done.
This is more like how I expected the Florida Libertarian Party Convention to sound.
Meth isn’t really a PED.
Depends on the sort of performance…
This was a very powerful story.
It really worked out well.
Swiss is stepping up and carrying the weight of low article submissions.
…
…
*narrows gaze*
Careful, if you do enough reps of that, you’ll hypertrophy your face muscles.
GAINZ!
I need a SQUAT MOAR banner.
We all do, Mustang. We all do.
Here you go. Or if you prefer… the lower repeat.
The comments, they BURN!
Look you stupid fuckers, squats don’t hurt your knees unless they are performed wrong. And despite him not hitting depth, he looked great.
Dummies.
I’ve always been partial to Tolkien’s invite. And the modes of egress to be provided to the guests.
Carriages at midnight
Ambulances at 3 am
Wheelbarrows at 5 am
Hearses at daybreak.
https://www.reddit.com/r/lotr/comments/w164rt/an_invite_from_tolkien_check_the_bottom/
How convenient.
Armed gunman attacked an FBI office in Cincinnati this morning and is currently in a shootout with law enforcement in a corn field outside the city…
Something happened with a nail gun. Then there was a car “chase” that led out of the city to an area that is now blocked from passage…where no one can see what is happening. I guess we’ll just take the FBI’s word on this event. They are trustworthy, right? RIGHT?
Has anyone seen Neph?
It’s a lovely kingdom northeast of Zesrin.
If you mean Mr Ilium the Ohio beer enthusiast, Not since monday.
Mr. Ilium is likely at the opposite (i.e. wrong) corner of the state. I, just south of Dayton, am much closer to the action, but I’m at work. (::salutes Rufus::)
Tres, on the other hand, is currently unaccounted for…
I’m safe and about 6 hours away. I’m on the North coast, lake side, not river side.
My intention was more to jokingly suggest you might be the perp, but the morning stupor still hasn’t burned off and I was thinking you were in Cincy rather than Cleveland. Now the joke is a total loss and seppuku is the only remedy.
I caught the joke. You should just pivot and say all the C-cities are the same anyways, and start an Ohio battle.
*Ahem*
All the C-cities are the same anyways!
Festering, destitute shitholes swirling inexorably down into moral, social and economic ruination?
Cincinnati has a hair more neo-Nazi, Cleveland a little more zebra mussel, Columbus a bit more Obetz, so they’re not exactly the same.
Ohio C-Cities? Cocomo, Cuernavaca, and Corinth?
Centerville, Cedarville, Celina, Chillicothe…
Camden! Carlisle! College Corner!
Now you’re just making stuff up,
You mean you people think they’re not?
Seems like that first guy to the right in the pic, he’s gonna get serious splattered, maybe even sliced a little depending on the follow-through.
Recent local reporting on the incident in question: https://www.whio.com/news/crime-and-law/large-police-investigation-underway-after-pursuit-shots-fired-report-clinton-county/FH2CYFNSHFDR5KYYTJEIIUDMFE/
Suspect in body armor attempted to breach FBI office prior to Clinton County shootout
This is so stupid it has to be fake. Or the perp is just insane.
I would never question the FBI
Question? No, we know they’re nothing but villains.
IR-71? Oh, Ohio.
Translation for coastal big-city types: “The 71.” 😉
Here, it’s just 71. There’s no “the” in front of it, unless you’re talking about tOSU.
Long-time LA resident friend moved Back Home Again To Indiana and gave directions from Dayton to his homestead as “Take the 70 to the 35…” etc.
It’s a SoCal shibboleth. It took me a few years to stop it.
I still do. [hangs head in shame, goes to penalty box]
It slips out sporadically. Coworkers were amused when I first moved to the area.
It’s 90 to 87 to 7 to 5 to 32 to 787 to 87 to 90 to 88…
Wait, why am I in Binghamton now?
I blame the NY exit numbering system.
I don’t actually use the exit numbers unless it appears there’s more than one of the same name.
I blame the NY exit numbering system.
Are they using order instead of miles?
Yes. Ask U what they do when they add an exit in the middle. (Or at the beginning, for that matter.)
Exit 12 1/2?
Exit 42A
Exit 42B
I’m used to referring to most of the routes up here in the CLE by the number (take 20, 91, 6, 322, etc.). The girlfriend’s family and area referred to them by the street names (Euclid/Mentor Ave.; SOM Center; Mayfield Rd, etc.) She refuses to acquiesce that the number way is better, as the names will change on the roads, but the numbers remain the same.
In my area US-1 changes name with each jurisdiction. I use a mix depending on the type. I tend to use numbers for intestates (are they even named like they are in SoCal?), US routes and some major state routes, but names for minor routes (every street in my subdivision is a numbered route).
I’ve still not gotten over them renaming bits and pieces of Industrial Rd. in Las Vegas. When I first moved there in 2005 they had either just changed or were just in the process of changing a huge stretch of Industrial Rd. to Dean Martin Dr. But that was too easy, so now what used to be Industrial Rd., which became Dean Martin Dr., turns into Sammy Davis Jr. Dr. at the I-15 underpass for all of about 3 blocks, before it turns back into Industrial Rd for all of about 3 blocks, and then turns into Grand Central Pkwy. about a half mile before it terminates.
Baker Mayfield got a street named after him? 😉
Up here, you eventually learn that 95 is 128.
I actually hadn’t noticed it until this very thread, but it seems to be a mix in my neck of the woods. Not uncommon to hear “The 15” or “The 215” for the interstates in Las Vegas, but I rarely hear “The 95” or “The 93” for the US routes, although they all meet at “The Spaghetti Bowl”. I’ve never heard anyone append a “the” to the state highways 372 or 160 out here in Pahrump. Where 160 enters Las Vegas the name changes to Blue Diamond Hwy, so most Las Vegans just call it Blue Diamond. When I lived in Spokane everybody I knew just referred to I-90 as “90”. They’ve finally completed a 5 mile or so stretch of the north-south freeway that’s been in planning, zoning, development, and construction since my mother was a little girl, but I have no idea what anybody calls it as it was still only partially completed when I left the 2nd time.
Here in the Susitna Valley, it’s usual just to refer to “the highway.”
Because there’s only one.
Usage here varies between whether or not to include the I- or Route, but ‘the’ is not applied except when referencing ‘The Thruway’ (either i-90 or i-87 depending upon where you’re driving) As a rule, if it has three numbers (481, 787, etc) Upstate New Yorkers just use the number.
Unciv is correct – we never, ever use “The” before a number. That immediately says “California” to me.
We often use “Route”. And for many of us, that’s pronounced “rout”.
I always pronounce it that way, unless I’m referencing (Get Your Kicks on) Route 66.
The FBI got their desired reaction. Or a False Flag.
Or embrace the power of “and”.
Suspect is assumed to be the victim of an FBI entrapment scheme until proven otherwise.
I hate squats and deadlifts – I do ’em but I still hate’m.
related: one of the things I hate about them is the wedgie potential. Squat in the NUDE! banner needed.
How Greek.
How do they feel about that at the 24Hr Fitness?
It would depend on how good looking the lifter is…
Hmmm.
STRONGVILLE, LLC
Company Number
4913030
Status
Active
Registered Address
84 LIBERTY BLVD
VALEY STREAM
11580
NY
This was based on a real card I picked up at some tourist info stop off I-86, on the way to OMWCland.
I’m giving serious consideration to building a home gym. Trying to decide if that takes priority over other expenses or not. Definitely want to get back to lifting but I don’t really like paying to go to the gym.
Me too, I need dumb bells and those things are expensive.
I tried weights with dumb bell handles, but changing weights irritated me.
I bit the bullet a year ago. Found a beautiful setup on FB Marketplace. I figured it’s about a two-year break even, but more importantly no fucking governor can shut it down.
I thought I would miss the energy and people at the gym, but it hasn’t been the case. It’s nice to walk downstairs and get after it.
I abandoned commercial gyms in the early Oughts, after one too many run-ins with gangs of yutes who would monopolize a single machine or weight station for as long as 45 minutes while the rest of us were trying to get a one-hour workout in. I used to call this behaviour “gang-banging.”
Tundra had the same realization I did: a home gym, quite well-equipped, ran about the same as two years’ worth of gym fees. If you’re single and live in an apartment, gym equipment’s not convenient to own. I didn’t have that issue.
I’m finally almost an “official” senior citizen, so my challenges with home gyms are very different these days.
I hate going to the gym.
There are only 2 sets of dumb bells and on Monday when I go in the evening, sometimes it’s a scavenger hunt to find the weights.
I probably need to quit whining about the cost and buy a set.
Find some place in the wilderness and move heavy rocks around.
I’ve accumulated all my stuff over the years from garage sales, Goodwill, etc. I got very lucky when my neighbors moved, and I got a whole set of hex dumbbells, from 5# – 50#, with rack, for $300.
hex dumbbells, from 5# – 50#, with rack, for $300
That’s pretty much free.
Testing because I’m doing something wrong with the blockquote function, but I don’t know what.
I need to do that and get a squat rack.
I can see it being annoying, but adjusting loadable dumbbells seems to fit into the overall idea of working out.
Have you tried the “Selectorized” adjustable dumbbells?
They aren’t heavy enough, to do what I want I need a set from 20-75.
You can get to 75 with 10 pound plates, but they’re a little unwieldy. 45 is about the max I can comfortably put on my dumbbells. I should just fucking send them to you, I haven’t touched them in over a year.
Changing weights irritates me too – but… having a whole rack of all the weights in set form would be uh, expansive.
It can also sag your floors if you live in an old house and keep your weight room on an upper floor. Don’t ask me how I know…
heh – my grandfather was a book collector and had them in the attic. Eventually it all had to be reinforced once the ceilings began to sag.
I have some kettlebells and a handful of other equipment at home. The kettlebells I picked up during the Lil Rona Panic.
I actually like the gym. Maybe it is the one I go to and the time I go. Contrast with the office where I would much rather work from home, and I get along with my coworkers.
Be sure to include a secret door.
https://www.reddit.com/r/hiddenrooms/comments/wk9n9u/built_a_secret_door_to_hide_the_gym/
To hide the “gym“.
Different kind of workout.
Gym.
I have an old Marcy bench that I bought oh – 15 or 16 years ago. Some of the original options – preacher curl for example – no longer work but it had held up for benching, squatting and deadlifts. The bar that came with it has lost most of it’s rubberized grip but no problem with good gloves.
I also bought a $150 or so pull up and dip station; along with just a plain flat $100 Marcy bench for doing well exercises that work best with that – one arm rows, concentration curls, tricep extensions, etc
It certainly was a boon during the “pandemic” since I had my own equipment. Big negative? It’s in the garage. Which means I can’t park my cars inside, it is cold as the 9th circle of hell during the winter, and hot as the friction of STEVE SMITH in the summer.
The place we ended up in has an unfinished basement. Having never had one before, I will never buy a place without one again. Beyond building a gym for me and my wife, I can store all my shit without having to put it in the rafters of the garage or in some fucking crawl space.
Luxury.
Yup.
I loved that about my old house. I actually ended up figuring out just how much storage i might need, building some shelving and hiding it all away behind full length mirror doors. I finished the basement and put my gym and games in there, it was perfection. Wish I could have brought my property to Florida with me…. and somehow kept it dry at the same time.
Florida basement doubles as swimming pool!
I’ve had unfinished basements areas before… but I couldn’t do some exercises due to the low-ish ceiling height. Military press? Well you gotta sit down for that. 🙁
My current house has no basement which is sad.
This place is fairly new. 9-foot ceilings in the basement.
The 60s rambler I grew up in would have been a no-go.
Mrs. Dean put together our home gym during the pandemic closures.
Assault Bike
Rowing Machine
Lifting rack thingy – its got a pull up bar across the top and doodads to hold the bars on the supports.
A bench.
Two bars (one was my birthday present last year)
A total of 250 pounds of plates.
A number of dumbbells and kettlebells.
Misc. CrossFit gear – a big sandbag, various heavy balls of different weights, jump ropes, etc.
That’s a bike that has the thing that goes up?
And it’s black.
*looks at disused weights abandoned in garage, considers fate of runners up…*
I made the right choice.
Stupendous amounts of weight were lifted, occasionally a rectum prolapsed or a tendon ruptured.
SugarFree’s influence looms large in Gliberland.
He is my twisted muse… two bits in there are directly from his ideas (but not the injuries, I checked some of the more bizarre and common injuries from lifting).
So you didn’t have to stretch too far.
I’ve posted this before, but it’s relevant here.
*hovers over link, nopes*
This is one of those times I wish I had admin privileges to embed the photos.
Mayor Hugeman had decreed a series of lifts – Squats – classic rack and walkout I hope, not that monolift bullshit
OF COURSE!
The Mayor opened the Fest by picking up a 250 lbs pair of scissors and shearing a large red Kevlar ribbon in twain – real men shear with a pair of sledgehammers. anyone can shear with scissors
Real Warty would have used a maul.
You have to be careful with those, and inspect before each use. There is a certain kind of rodent that habitually gnaws on the wooden handles of such tools, attracted by the salt left on the wood by sweaty hands.
Those rodents are called…
Maul rats.
Boo.
That was bad even by my standards as a pun hoarder.
They can’t all be winners. But I had to gopher it.
A pun like that really adze to the fun on these threads.
We do tend to Pick bad times to pepper the post with punnage.
Part of the point is to provoke a particular punophobe.
So you presently prefer to perturb with parallel pronunciation?
Incisors
That was for 2nd place.
Beta gains.
O’Rourke was speaking to a crowd at a town hall in Mineral Wells during his 49-day tour of Texas when he began discussing the recent mass shooting that killed 19 children and two teachers.
“I’m going to make sure that now, 11 weeks since we lost 19 kids and their two teachers, shot to death with a weapon originally designed for use in combat, legally purchased by an 18-year-old who did not try to obtain one when he was 16 or 17 but followed the law that’s on the books, ladies and gentleman, that says that you can buy not one, you can buy two or more if you want to, AR-15s, hundreds of rounds of ammunition, and take that weapon that was originally designed for use on the battlefields in Vietnam to penetrate an enemy soldier’s helmet at 500 feet and knock him down dead…”
It was then that a man could be heard laughing loudly in the background.
“Up against kids at 5 feet… it may be funny to you, motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me, OK?” O’Rourke said.
I wish anti-gun people would learn literally anything about guns.
Did the laughing guy respond with a nice loud, “Cry more, bitch!”?
What a missed opportunity…
“The group of men you see in the video were there to antagonize the crowd,” Calderón said. “They stood in the back speaking loudly over the guest speaker. They would make horribly racist or homophobic comments and laugh to get a rise.
Unfortunately, none of those comments were recorded or caught on camera, gollydarnit. Take our word for it though.
Up against kids at 5 feet … long range ballistics are irrelevant.
Five feet is within melee range. You could swing any number of blunt objects and kill kids at that distanct.
I was just about to say, glad I refreshed first
If there is one loser worse than Biden, it’s that useless prick Beto. He will eventually get into office and cause untold damage. Suburban Karens and move-ins love that twat.
Oh man, he said “motherfucker” just like a real, tough Texas hombre! I bet there wasn’t a dry pair of panties in the building after that!
The ladies do like a tuff-gai.
I’ll take a stab at fighting him. And I’m almost 52.
I’m sixty, and I would happily staple his tongue to his taint so he could watch while I kicked his ass.
This may dox me but… my home town. I actually know a few Robert Francis supporters who are on the video, but I didn’t see who laughed.
Up against kids at 5 feet
You could use a claw hammer. Or a length of chain. No background check required.
So you are saying that we need commonsense tool/power-tool control such as bans on high-capacity assault-hammers.
Up against elementary school kids, you could find plenty of objects in the school.
Up against elementary school kids, you could find plenty of objects in the school.
You could say that again!
I did see 5 on the patio today.
Not for nothing, but it’s a little alarming that this crowd can easily think of a dozen ways to kill children from close range at a moment’s notice.
If you get into a bathroom stall, they can only come at you on or two at a time…
The Army trains how to kill in many ways. I will raise your alarm by informing you that I took a college course on terrorism where I had to plan a terrorism campaign.
It was then that a man could be heard laughing loudly in the background.
I like to pretend this is an effective tool against drama queens like Beto. But I’m probably wrong.
Knowing that tool, it was a plant. Either that or someone laughing at a joke as part of a conversation outside of his speech. He is a damn dirty commie and would do anything to get points.
Malarkey Markey.
Democrat Senator Ed Markey says there’s no reason to pay for gas when you can get an electric vehicle.
REMINDER: The average cost of an electric vehicle is $67,000.
Dems are going all-in on “let them eat cake.”
But think of all the savings on gas!
Also don’t forget the cost if electricity has gone up to where it almost costs as much as gas to charge an electric car.
Well, Im sure that he realizes that once you add additional demand to the current supply…..
(I just shot beer out my nose trying to finish that sentence)
Did you see Buttigieg being questioned by Massie about what would happen if too many families had electric cars?
Buttigieg had no clue if the grid could handle it, basically he said “It will have to”.
Buttigieg at his desk shouting into the intercom: “Scottie, we need more power”.
“How did you get this number?”
Out of curiosity, is there a place I can look that up?
Compare California electric car charging prices to the price of filling a compact car. Right before Biden’s gas price blowup, those were roughly equal.
Here: Tesla charging calculator. Cost per KWH is around .25 cents in California so close to $30 for electric charge, ranging roughly 250 miles. Also California has extra charges for peak-hour use now.
Gas car, such as a Honda Fit, even at $3 a gallon, ten gallons tank, $30. Goes over 300 miles on a tank.
Biden of course made gas tons more expensive so people wouldn’t notices the overall charging cost.
Also nobody is talking about the cost of replacing the batteries in 5 years, which will be more than the average electric commuter car is worth.
Tesla recharge calculator:
https://theimpactinvestor.com/tesla-charging-cost-calculator/
Where are you finding $3 gas?
As the page shows you have to factor in charging capacity to determine the mile per kWh from the charger. Efficiency ratings are normally given as miles per kWh from the battery.
Well, I ran the numbers just a week ago or so, and I know that electricity costs (per kwh) have gone up ~33% over last year. I am now going months between filling up my tank with gasoline.
Not all of us bicycle as well as you, Mr. Wheels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
$42,000 will buy me a lot of gas considering I have been averaging 70 gallons per year.
Ask him to pick a random dealer in a random state and ask him how many they have on the lot.
Yeah… even with high gas prices my (non-hybrid) car can still get 30 or 32 in the city and over 45mpg in the highway – which means nearly a 500 mile range if I’m taking the car long distance. And it only takes a few minutes to fill up with 87 octane. And it only cost $21k new. That’s a lot of gas even versus the cheapest Tesla Model 3 or Chevy Bolt.
$67k for a vehicle that won’t drive me where I want to go.
I wonder if Markey’s parents had any children that lived…
*reaches for foil*
What we do is get everyone to move to electric cars. When this inevitably creates grid issues, we get everyone to move back to ICEs.
When this inevitably creates grid issues, we get
everyone to move back to ICEsthe serfs to ride bicycles or use public transport on the routes we allow.FIFY
Sure… laugh at us MAMIL (Middle Aged Men In Lycra) now. See who’s going to get the last laugh when we can ride where we want!
Reminds me of a friend of the girlfriend who said that we could all power our houses with a stationary bike riding only an hour a day. I countered with this video.
Yeah…. that’s not gonna work.
(you’ve linked that video before – it’s a great illustration of
uh, great illustration of how much energy is needed for mundane things
You ran out of energy? Keep pedaling!
What they needed was to next show some pencil-neck idiot like Neph spoke of trying to even turn the damn thing two or three times.
ji:
Nah. Just take the person, hook a stationary bike up to a small battery, and let them go at it. Then they’re only allowed to use things that they can power from that battery for the rest of the day.
Amazing illustration of how energy=wealth for a society.
fuck the greens.
I think they keep just as much control by trapping everyone in a cycle of debt with car financing.
Slumbrew is on to their true end goal. Control of the peasants.
The elites will have cars (and planes, and boats), but the peasants will be rounded up into urban area and shipped to and fro as needed to work.
Not sure where the elites think food will come from.
Tonio has talked about the moves to limit mobility before – I can’t argue with his conclusions.
They want us controlled. Can’t have you wandering about in an ICE vehicle with some gas cans in the back.
Not sure where the elites think food will come from.
The horseback mounted brutals will take care of that.
‘Not sure where the elites think food will come from.’
The grocery store? duh.
NPR had an article about how great the gas shortage was in Sri Lanka because more people were bicycling.
“…and the ambulances stopped running, and the fire trucks, food delivery…it’s great!”
Fixed.
Which calls forth.
But then you have horse shit in the streets like the 1900s, and its a public health issue. So you need to ban horses, too.
Hm…
At least six coal plants in New Mexico and three other states are temporarily halting their retirement as utility providers say import tariffs and other supply disruptions on solar panels imposed by the U.S. Commerce Department are making it difficult to meet high demand, according to Reuters. Fossil fuels like coal plants and natural gas are preventing blackouts by filling the gaps in the grid that are being created by the push to implement green energy nationwide amid President Joe Biden’s aggressive energy transformation plan.
“As we make this transition, we have to do it in a way that doesn’t lead to blackouts or brownouts,” Raymond G. Sandoval, director of corporate communications and brand management at PNM Resources, an electrical utility company, told the DCNF.
Democrat Senator Ed Markey says there’s no reason to pay for gas when you can get an electric vehicle.
When you think spending a thousand bucks to save ten is an “investment”, that’s when you know you’re qualified to be a Senator.
So you are saying that we need commonsense tool/power-tool control such as bans on high-capacity assault-hammers.
We must exhibit an abundance of caution, so people will take us seriously. Ban 32 oz waffle faced framing hammers!
Needs more DoomCock™.
So you didn’t go shoot up a Cincy FBI office.
With these gas prices? I dont possess the motivation to do it.
Welp, I’ve delivered something in PowerPoint form I can bullshit off of.
No one seemed to have a clue what they actually wanted me to present to the vendor, but were convinced someone needed to talk about infrastructure.
I used to bury messages in some documents to see if anyone read them. I realized my supervisor read my status reports because he commented when I stopped provided baseball commentary.
Eh, this is a big-screen in-person presentation. I’d rather not risk it.
Just do the subliminal porn thing like in Fight Club.
A few years back I was setting up a quality system for a Denver-area company. Approving SOPs required manual signatures (paper system, you see) from me (Quality), R&D, Manufacturing and the VP/COO.
All of us had offices in the main hallway upstairs, within a few steps of each other, so when I had an SOP ready for approval I would prepare the SOP and the change order and drop it off with R&D, who had the office next to mine, with the understanding that it would get passed on when approved, eventually finding its way back to me when all approvals were obtained.
The speed with which they came back to me was uncanny, as in, four people reading and approving a twenty-page SOP within ten minutes or so. That made me suspicious.
So I released an SOP in which Section 7.2 was King Henry’s “Once More Unto the Breach” speech from Act 3 of Henry V. In due course the SOP came back to me approved. In the next staff meeting, I brought the approved SOP with me and read section 7.2 out loud.
The approval authorities, including the VP, were duly embarrassed. They started actually reading the procedures after that.
Before you can talk about infrastructure, you need to get buy-in on an inclusive paradigm so you can synergize equity.
https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2022/08/how-a-portland-lesbian-bar-for-everyone-closed-after-one-day.html
lulz
Just perfect, Portland.
I’ve seen that a couple times now – “they must turn the business over to us”. Never “sell it to use”, always “give it to us”.
They’d run it into the ground in months anyway, but the balls of “I worked here, therefore you should give me the business” is amazing.
You’re far too kind. Weeks, at best.
A week, at best.
I’d give them until lunch time the morning following the acquisition.
“Now, co-owner Olga Bichko …”
For a dyke bar, why not “Bitch Co.” ?
Right out of a Monty python sketch.
I fucking love it. A perfect illustration of rule #3 – ‘Never do anything nice for a progressive.’
And publicly stating sexual orientation is a hiring requirement will bring no scrutiny from the state that sues over bakery goods.
It should, but it wouldn’t. Unless perhaps a bi-racial disabled trans-person complained about having to actually work in order to get paid.
You get what you ask for.
And from when The Onion was more funny.
Marxists’ Apartment A Microcosm Of Why Marxism Doesn’t Work
“Our vision is a queer worker owned cooperative,” they wrote, one that is run “democratically, provides mutual aid, and hosts free opportunities for education to our community.”
You should probably get your eyes examined.
Sigh…
Online marketing CEO Braden Wallake posts crying selfie announcing layoffs — and gets roasted
https://nypost.com/2022/08/10/online-marketing-ceo-braden-wallake-posts-crying-selfie-announcing-layoffs-gets-roasted/
Everyone is dumb.
“Ohio-based marketing services firm HyperSocial…”
God I miss the days of fuckedcompany.com
It just never gets old. To me at least.
Gary Busey on hobbits.
Whoops.
Let me try this.
Genuine laugh out loud.
Thanks Swissy.
Bless you….it takes a while to screw up the courage, and a serious flash of inspiration, to write here…with the likes of Animal, SugarFree, et al posting.
This was a fun change of pace.
It made me 20% stronger in the weight room. So thanks for that!
I read it and saved 15% on my car insurance!
Found via the NYP. It’s what I’d call an eclectic lineup.
METALLICA
CHARLIE PUTH
JONAS BROTHERS
MÅNESKIN
MARIAH CAREY
MICKEY GUYTON
ROSALÍA
https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/festival/nyc/2022/
This looks like the perfect line-up for a corporate circle-jerk like Global Citizen.
Trying to finish the Sandman on Netflix.
First half was decent. Second half is hot garbage.
Gaiman does not have it anymore if he truly oversaw the production of this. So many opportunities to trim obvious woke fluff and insert a fucking plot into it with some stakes.
But I guess sticking it to the critics who predicted a woke clusterfuck was more important than making a good show.
That’s sad to hear. But I guess every creative type runs out of steam eventually. ‘I’m a big fan of his early work,’ wouldn’t be such an effective snipe, otherwise.
It’s rather sad, really. Some of it is obviously arbitrary and doesn’t matter one whit.
Death is a black woman, fine, others have already done it, but whatever…
Desire is an androgynous thing, ok fine…
Lucifer is relatively androgynous, been done already, whatever…
The antagonist in the first half is actually somewhat interesting, so he kills him off quick. What the fuck?
And the rest of the characters? Tedious and boring, and approaching something you’d expect from a sophomore in what passes for a university creative writing class these days. *insert drag queen here* *insert abusive, racist redneck straight couple there* etc…
Please tell me it’s played by Whoopi Goldberg. It could be the part she was born for.
I liked the actress who played Death on Supernatural, she had spunk.
This one is just “Hi, I’m happy and pleasant Death….”
Relevant
Thanks. My brother texted me that it was out and I was tempted to watch.
I’m halfway into episode 2. It is already moving pretty slow imo.
Is it just me or is the actress playing the librarian exceedingly… manish? right until she opens her mouth?
I didn’t mind it. I personally thought they should have excised the DC ties entirely instead of even doing winking nods to them, as well as not go through the arc of getting the badges of his station. I don’t recall them making much changes to the sexual preferences of many of the characters from the comic to the show. The comic already had the drag queen, the lesbian who beat her girlfriend, and the like.
If that’s the case, it didn’t translate at all.
Now I’m at the same point I’m at with Westworld, hate-watching it anyway.
Garland just said that he is appalled (APPALLED) at the response and criticism of the FBI following the Maralago
raidcourt-approved search by upstanding public servants that exist only to ensure fair treatment under the law and due process.This cunte is not serious.
He’s asking the court to unseal the warrant. He must think he has something.
Or that Trump would try to prevent that.
Why would the warrant be sealed?
Awfully curious why there’s this push to publicize the contents. First egging Trump to do it. And now this.
This is funny.
Mind-blowing.
Didn’t see that coming.
Neither did she. ///rimshot
Oh lord, it took me a minute.
LOL.
Same with Bill!
Took me a couple minutes but the look on BJ’s face, oops BC’s face gave it away
Ha!
It wasn’t a raid, you fucking Trumpkins!
But there’s no coordination in the media, don’t you dare accuse those twats of that.
The NPC meme was incredibly accurate, which is why they pulled out all the stops to suppress it.
Have they redefined “raid” in the dictionary yet?
Good, maybe now the Las Vegas Raiders will have to change their name and all of the fucking clowns can take the bumper stickers off their cars.
Don’t worry. They don’t like to stay in one city too long. They could be back in Oakland by the end of the decade.
It’s cool, we can always use that $2 billion stadium, half of which was financed out of the state treasury, as a picnic area or something.
I neglected say earlier – thanks for this, Swissy!
Afwhan!
That Clinton thing is perfect. The smug grin sells it. I wouldn’t doubt for a moment there really was somebody under that desk humming “Hail to the Chief”.
That settles it. I considered taking the wife out for dinner, but nope.
Its leg day.
She’ll understand.
*Nods in approval*