It was Parade Week. As a few of you know, I’ve been swamped with an urgent high-profile project to create medals for a big-deal Olympics-like event, using an exotic glass created by one of our graduate students; it’s a deep blue color, but lights up bright yellow-orange when exposed to UV light. I came into the project late and it was in disastrous condition. After successfully executing a coup, I took over the project management and have gotten it nearly to completion.

There’s a multiweek torch relay culminating with the last leg at the event to start the games, and the first leg was this past week at our little university, in recognition of our creative work on the medals project. Much was made of the special torch, which has no flame but instead has a molded glass fake flame lit by an LED. “The most sustainable winter games ever!” the committee officials crowed. “We’re doing this without creating carbon dioxide from a torch flame!” I said to the professor I was standing with, “How much CO2 was generated heating a furnace and melting the glass used for the torch?” He glared at me and responded, “You’re not supposed to say that out loud!”

So as we celebrate, there’s the usual quota of birthdays today including a guy who never spoke up; a guy who should have been the star of Hamilton; some overwrought chick; a guy who was always on the brink; a welcome addition to any road trip; a guy most famous for falling down a well; an actual pioneer of comedy; a guy who set an example for all Illinois politicians and hair weave distributors; and a fabulously overrated hack cook and asshole.

Let’s move on to the important stuff. Links.

 

I truly enjoy being lectured to by my moral and intellectual superiors.

 

No lies detected.

 

I can’t imagine why college is so fucking expensive.

 

The knives are soooooo out. It’s delightful.

 

Time to break out your talismans of obedience.

 

“After decades of grifting and enriching myself by stomping on your faces, I am outraged that people are mean to me.” I long for the return of public hangings.

 

This was an odd little tidbit I ran across. I always knew that Steve Howe was pretty terrific, but this really seals the deal. He does a PERFECT Les Paul imitation to get things going, then takes off on his own after Les actually starts up. Amazing, amazing.