Funny, it wasn’t long ago I was complaining they took this one away from us.  All I will say is….never forget.

This is my review of Guinness Zero:

I realize that making fun of the Irish this weekend will likely result in hearty laughter slowly progressing to distain, and eventually to violence as we move later into the day for some reason. I will therefore leave this small public service announcement given to us from the one place happy to at least not be Detroit:  Paddy is a slur.

Here you go: The correct spelling is St. Paddy’s Day, not St. Patty’s Day. St. Paddy’s Day is the abbreviated spelling of St. Pádraig’sDay in which the Irish holiday was originally named in honor of the patron saint who is believed to have died on March 17, 461 A.D.

The incorrect St. Patty’s Day, on the other hand, is the Anglicized version of St. Patrick’s Day, which uses the American male name Patrick in place of the original Irish name.

The nickname “Paddy,” however, has in recent centuries been used as an ethnic slur against those with Irish heritage, making some wary of using the spelling. In that case, it’s recommended to use ‘St. Paddy’s Day,’ for both accuracy and to avoid any hurt feelings.

I find it kind of funny they advise us not to use the Anglicized “Patrick” all while drinking copious amounts of Guinness.  Arthur himself, was a Unionist:

Guinness was in favor of Catholic Emancipation from 1893 but did not support the United Irishmen during the 1798 rebellion. In fact, in 1797, Arthur Guinness was named by The Union Star newspaper as a suspected informer. He was described as:

“A brewer at James’s Gate, an active spy. United Irishmen will be cautious of dealing with any publican who sells his drink.”

The Guinness family became Irish Unionists and Arthur Guinness accepted the system, with Arthur “directly opposed to any movement toward Irish independence” and wanting “Ireland to remain under English control.”

Which makes perfect sense to me after I visited Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin.  The tour guide was constantly pointing out the artwork in the Anglican church that was paid for by Arthur Guinness.

Its cool though, for the contrarian minded there is always Murphy’s.

 

To say something controversial, this one actually works.  Here is why:  Guinness doesn’t have a lot of alcohol to begin with.  It also is dominated by roasted barely cooked to an exact temperature, as well as the nitrogen-fueled explosion when you crack open the can.  They probably put a ton of corporate money into development specifically to make sure it doesn’t suck.  So when I say this actually does taste like Guinness, I’m as serious as a staph infection.  Except is won’t get you drunk, which makes it as desirable as a staph infection. Guinness Zero: 1.5/5 <0.05% ABV