I’d love to do a fun April Fool’s joke, but I’m too tired to think of one. Besides juggling NPR Ladies, I’m midway through two weeks of work hell- tours, presentations, program reviews, all the shit I hate because it’s keeping me away from research. Nonetheless, there’s the occasional laugh. I was bringing a set of people from our funding agency touring through our analytical labs. One of the rooms contained a couple of very impressive pieces of very large equipment (for the geeks, it was x-ray diffraction and x-ray fluorescence spectrometers). I pointed to one of them and said, “…and that’s the machine that goes PING! It’s my favorite, the most expensive one we’ve got.”

Blank looks. Ah well.

Oh yes, birthdays. Today’s include a guy who circulated; a guy who was a bit cheesy; a guy whom you probably know from Loony Tunes, you peasants; a guy who could outdo Charles Laughton; perhaps the nastiest, meanest drunk in a town know for nasty and mean drunks; a guy who was not exactly Jehovah’s witness; the only guy who could legitimately rock a hipster topknot; a woman whose influence ruined sci fi for me; a guy who invented an existential diet plan; a woman who was wonderful with Carroll O’Connor on The Outer Limits; a guy who was the mentor of the last woman I dated; and that nice young man who does the news.

Let’s go to Links.

 

How can this possibly be constitutional? It’s not, of course, but the 1A was written like a hundred years ago by some dead slaveholders, so fuck it.

 

Interesting twist on The Shawshank Redemption.

 

Of all the stupid shit meant to distract us from real issues, this drag queen shit has to be the stupidest.

 

How do you say “Dindu nuffin” in Hebrew?

 

Kayfabe for fun and profit.

 

Buy popcorn futures.

 

My favorite Spinal Tap song was, “Gimmee Some Money.”

 

Old Guy Music is Molly once again doing a cover that absolutely blows away the original. Fuck, what an amazing singer and guitarist. I want to bear all her children.