Everyone loves Memorial Day. We commemorate the sacrifice of multitudes of military, sent to their deaths by lying scum politicians. We celebrate their ultimate sacrifices with hot dogs and hamburgers- “Uncle Paul was killed by the North Vietnamese Army in Quang Tri. Pass the ketchup!”

And everyone loves birthdays, and today’s include a guy who had two wishes and got them both; a guy who was more Catholic than the Pope; a historian who didn’t like (((us))) very much; a guy who proved that comedians don’t have to actually be funny; the guy who beat Hillary; a president who showed us all how brainy he was; a guy who proved that being consistently wrong pays well; a guy whose fame and fortune came from driving around in circles; a guy who definitely needed more range time; and a woman whose Wikipedia photo looks disturbingly like Pocahontas.

Link link link, that’s what’s gonna happen here.

 

“What is she doing here?” That’s actually a great question.

 

I never did like Charlotte.

 

Local news. Our kids are morons.

 

Stop reading Glibs and go rail someone.

 

This bullshit never seems to go away.

 

Stay on message, guys, stay on message.

 

C’mon, there’s only one song that we can have today.