Here’s a lazy, rambling, and pointless article for when there’s absolutely nothing better to post at glibs dot com. Go OT after 30 seconds if you like, but click and delete this redneck tune first.
Some parts of Gary Nolan’s article America Could Learn a Lot from Tiger Woods didn’t age so well: it was written many automotive incidents and bimbos ago. But he does make some nice libertarian observations that might help convince a buddy that competition (and, implicitly, free markets and free actors) leads to a better world.
(At the 1997 Masters), Tiger Woods slaughtered his opponents by 12 strokes with no concern about how it would affect their egos….Did the rest of the PGA tour quit, were their feelings hurt, did they all cry their eyeballs out and walk off the course, were their fragile psyches destroyed forever? Of course not. The rest of the (players) simply started spending more time at the range and the gym.
I love the Masters (motto: [REDACTED], a wonderful championship held by the utterly unapologetic Augusta National Golf Club deep in my native South. Augusta may have evolved, but it’s still reserved for excellence; notice that no one is writing some article about a hidden gem of a golfer from Slovenia who would lap the field if only he were invited. Tiger’s place in that history started in 1997, and he limped to victory again in 2019, 22 years later. Jack’s victories endcapped 1963 and 1986; Player won in 1961 and 1978. Of course, Tiger’s achievements count all the more because he is a POC while Jack and Gary never knew the horror of playing globally-warmed courses.
The Masters might center on excellence, but some invitees’ credentials are more relevant that others’ because all former champions are welcome back ad finitum. There are too many
ways to qualify for the Master to mention, but, basically, finishing high in other major tournaments will get you a ticket to Augusta. Brian Harman’s win at the British qualifies him for the next five Masters (Harman and NewWife are both alumni of Savannah Christian High and
The UGA, so mucho giggles and screams last weekend at Casa Escapado).
Speaking of the British (officially “The Open” as if there’s no other tournament in the world ala the World Series), winners there are invited back forever. Arkansas Man added to his streak:
- 2023 cut
- 2022 cut
- 2021 MIA
- 2019 withdrew because they wouldn’t let him use a cart
- 2018 withdrew
- 2017 cut
- 2016 cut
- 2015 cut
- 2014 cut
- 2013 withdrew due to injury
- 2012 tied for 81st, comeback feelgood story of the year
John “Nice Tits” Daly might be the PGA all-time leader in ability squandered, but he utterly transcends golf. Although born in California, Daly is the ultimate flyover deplorable and King of the Trailer Trash
®. Definitely reach for the
Daly-Tiger meme generator the next time you need to send a fuck you text to your exwife.
Back at the Masters, the oldest qualification that is not from a previous Masters is Francesco Molinari’s 2018 British: there was no 2020 British due to virus kabuki, so their last five go back a year further than the other majors. Scottie Scheffler, Cameron Smith, and Viktor Hovland have qualified three different ways (Hovland is Norwegian, so more squeals from NewWife…JFC: chill bitch).
Jack Burke Jr. won the 1956 Masters but is too busy to play next year: at 100, he still runs the Champions Golf Club in Houston with his still-hot-for-her-age wife. My advice is not to say anything to him about his continued absence from Augusta: the Fort Worth native taught hand-to-hand during WW2 and might give you the spoon or at least fuck up your weekend.
The upcoming Players Championship could qualify three more golfers for 2024: see ya then!
Funny thing, but the plan for retirement was to get back into golf. Two and a half months in and I haven’t even bought a new set of clubs (last set was stolen back when I lived in CA).
I’m tuning up for the public links senior amateur here. I ranked inside the top 70 last year and hope to move up.
I play at the mostly a nice walk with a few good shots sprinkled in level.
I logged my lowest round, a 78, last month, but my first 79 was three years ago today.
When I moved back to my small town the plan was to buy a case of beer and sit on the dock and fish. I bought the case of beer many times, have never gone fishing, and the dock was taken out pert near a decade ago.
Definitely reach for the Daly-Tiger meme generator the next time you need to send a fuck you text to your exwife.
There are some good ones in there.
I played Disc, went to lunch on the beach and I then rode me skateboalrd tothe point, a great time, Pacific Beach is paradise,
PBOG
🤘🏻
It’s interesting (to me, at least) that of all life experiences, this is one that I will never have.
Mrs. Hobbit and I, after 51 years, are comfortable enough with each other that a “trip to Reno” is no going to happen. She might shoot me in my sleep, but divorce is out of the question.
I have no expectations of out-living her. She’s one of those people who is so busy with life in general that she has no need to exercise. Example: She flosses her teeth every night.
I, on the other hand, am consistently 50 pounds too-heavy, take handfulls of pills daily for blood pressure and other ailments, and spend more time at my computer than at manual activities.
Should there be a disaster and she goes before me it still won’t matter: “One life, one wife”
I have a good relationship with my ex, and it still isn’t an experience I would recommend. Particularly since my situation is so extraordinarily rare. The typical version seems to be moving up a few levels in hell.
I get along with my ex, mostly as we stay out of each others way, but also due to having a very similar view on how to raise our kid. We were both children of broken homes, knew how that hits kids, and when it became clear that we would only make each other miserable if we stayed together, we made sure to act in unison when it came to The Boy. Which even included babysitting for the other one if they went on a date.
Now that he is pushing 30, I suppose the next time I see her will be at The Boy’s wedding, whenever that is.
I was lucky enough to have my ex die 25 years ago. It’s not always the good that die young(ish).
Hope you’re all having a nice evening. After a stressful day I’m smoking my hobbit pipe and watching the barn swallows.
It’s a nice evening, showers earlier cooled things down a bit. We’re back from shopping and Ronald Coleman is the Star of the Day on TCM.
Sipped some scotch earlier.
Life is good.
Aren’t they fun?!
Out my WFH window is our backyard. One afternoon a couple weeks ago, a bunch of extra commotion caught my eye. It was the mama and papa barn swallows that nested on the back of the house teaching the newly-airborne young to hunt. Very fun.
Now everyone is busy getting fat for the trip south so we have dozens of birds; barn swallows, tree swallows, and eastern and western king birds flying all over the yard catching bugs. It’s like a miniature Battle of Britain out there. So fun.
I’ve been thinking more and more about getting a hobbit pipe. Nothing to do with the birds, just cuz…
I got mine at a renaissance fair. I left with one but there were 3 or 4 I liked. This is the store. https://www.dannyboypipes.com/
is there any chance of getting one from the PRC that is laced with unhappy chemicals?
Those a really cool. I better stick to cigars for now…don’t need another
badhabit. But one day, I could see me switching to a pipe. My dad smoked them for a while and I always liked the smell.I don’t want to be that asshole who quit nicotine and wants to ruin other people’s enjoyment.
But… I can’t touch the shit again or I’ll be hooked.
I quit cigarettes and chewing, and am in no way addicted to cigars. In case you don’t know (many people don’t) you don’t (shoudln’t) inhale cigar or pipe smoke…at least not on purpose. I’ve never felt* any kind of nicotine buzz from cigars.
*yes, I know my body is absorbing some, but not enough for me to notice.
YMMV
I was aware of that, even if it makes no fucking sense.
What is the point, then?
It’s still a calming experience. And as hard as it may be to believe, it’s a taste thing, too. Especially when paired with a good whisk(e)y.
I think the whiskey is doing the heavy lifting in that relationship.
As someone who has smoked more cigars without a whiskey back than with, I respectfully disagree.
I haven’t smelled pipe smoke (yum) in decades. Cigar smoke one may keep.
My Dad smoked cigarettes for 40 years, switched to a pipe, suffered from emphysema for several years before he died. I smoked off and on for 15 years, mostly on. Quit 45 years ago. It was not a healthy habit.
I was all in for 30 years.
I think I’ve kicked it… but sometimes, I want a smoke so bad. I still reach for a phantom Juul every once in a while.
My best buddy in the Air Force was a pipe smoker. He had a nice collection and one of his favorites was one that he called his “hobbit pipe.” It had a much smaller bowl than others and had a stem that was 8-10 inches long.
When we first moved to this house, 35 years ago, there were bats that came out in the evening. They disappeared probably 20 years ago. I miss them, they kept the bugs under control.
We have a rescue bat we relocated to our yard a few years ago and having been seeing it occasionally on summer nights and were pretty pleased. Then a month or so ago I saw two bats flying around a couple nights in a row. Hopefully they have complimentary parts and the family grows.
I miss the guineas we had here, twenty years ago. They were funny as hell and ate bugs like nobody’s business.
Neighbor shot them since they roosted in a tree next to his bedroom.
I can understand that. Still…I miss the feathered assholes.
I love the smell of pipe smoke.
Despite the alarmism it’s been a cool august. Good sittin weather.
We’re headed back into July weather, mid to high 80s and not much rain. Honey production is way down this year, the drought kept flowers down and then the robber bees showed up. Hope we get 6 more weeks frost free, the garden is looking great, even as I have to water from the well.
Life goes on
8 or 10 please. Just because
Same here. Much of July, too.
I’ve never heard of anyone using the euphemism “the barn” for one’s spouse. My own wife quit with the swallows
as soon as the honeymoon was overafter twenty or so years. Good for you, mate!the euphemism “the barn” for one’s spouse
Lighting the Tres signal?
John Daly is my most* favorite golfer ever. Dude is awesome.
*out of one
the first time I took Dad out to the tournament, we walk out onto the course hunting a place to perch, but we had come out greenside at maybe number 10
Daly was in a bunker about 30 yards from the pin and holes out
that was the first professional golf stroke Dad ever saw
That’s a damn cool way to see your first professional golf stroke
Had bison soft tacos for dinner.
Now I’m out of Bison 🙁
Is a shopping trip to Buffalo out of the question?
It’s five or six hours down the highway – everything would be closed by the time I got there.
Baseball players are too lean and stringy anyway.
All they have is wings.
I’ve found bison too lean for my tastes. Some well-marbled beef is better IMO.
Similar deal with venison. My folks would take a deer to this fellow who would grind it up with pork fat, seasonings, and green chile to make breakfast sausage.
Oh, Lordy, it was good.
I prefer leaner meats, especially after having the gall bladder out. “Well marbled” beef looks unappetizing on the butcher’s shelf, and if I ate it I’d be trapped in the bathroom.
Interesting. My wife had her gb out, too and really suffers from saturated fats. Poor girl is allergic to fish, so it’s lots of chicken, elk etc for her.
Has she ever tried Bison? I prefer it to beef, but beef is cheaper and far more forgiving as to how you cook it.
Yep, but it’s a bitch to cook without adding fat.
Do it like this
I’ve never been a fan of fatty, marbly beef. Filet mignon FTW.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/ba/Sliced_Matsusaka_wagyu_beef.jpg/1280px-Sliced_Matsusaka_wagyu_beef.jpg
LOL gross.
😱
So, you’re rendering tallow from that leaf fat, right?
I am so glad that cheese doesn’t bother me. I can manage small quantities of tallow or lard, but there is a threshold. I can manage a NY Strip, provided I trim it. Any fattier than that…
Sad!
I’ve had the gall bladder out.
I’ve found that meal size seems to matter more than the content of the meal.
Lean meat on raw tortilla? Sans spice and sauce I suppose.
Speaking of lean meat, ran a batch of jerky (from top round) through the Traeger. It will be going to Burning Man.
I used a harissa blend and salt before cooking, and due to a lack of authentic sauces applied some buffalo sauce. Used pepper jack to keep the meat from touching the tortilla.
Serious question: why?
Because it was in presliced form and it was just easier to lay cheese on tortilla then spoon the other ingredients on top.
Oh..haha. I thought it was some sort of tortilla “rule” I’ve been breaking.
Because if the meat does touch the tortilla, then it’s gay.
Daly is far and away my favorite golfer.
NewWife walked a round once with Daly when he knew he couldn’t make the cut. Somehow he drew the first group and was solo on a Friday: she reports he finished the round in 100 minutes flat.
She walked with Rahm Saturday and has never seen anyone hit as far.
Lol. Awesome.
For the longest time I didn’t care about golf. But a few years ago I decided I wanted to be Just Like Tiger Woods.
https://youtu.be/opZ4Lc3QH_0
That is what I expected.
I aim to please.
Brakes changed and slow tire leak plugged. Cigar lit.
Drive fast. Take chances.
Aye-aye!
It’s the only way to test your work.
I stand behind my brake jobs…because it’s the safest place to be.
*shifts into reverse*
For Moj and other fans of POWER.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vLWBP-ehOo
Pretty good for an engine that left regular service in July, 1959.
I ate a can of squid packed in its own ink. Yum.
I can’t keep up with all these euphemisms.
My sister and BIL gave us cans of squid and octopus for Christmas one year, procured at the famous-around-these-parts Jungle Jim’s. My BIL is especially fond of giving gifts that he considers “a hoot.” (“Hoots”?)
They went uneaten.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am4wXKLxjxw
Simple recipe for canned octopus in olive oil. In a frying pan heat olive oil with garlic till just turning golden. Add the octopus (drain the bad canned oil) and cilantro. Heat until garlic and cilantro are done. Serve over french fries.
You stole a base there – How do we know when those components are “Done”?
IMHO octopus is “done” when it’s safely disposed of in the garbage.
Done= garlic is golden, cilantro is wilted, and the popo is warm throughout. Do not overcook or the popo will turn into rubber. It is already cooked so just warm.
I thought po-po was pig?
The closest I’ve ever come to playing golf that was not miniature was when my Uncle Francis let me try to hit a few balls at the driving range when he and my Aunt Ruth took my sister and me down to the Fairfield Glade Resort in Tennessee once when we were kids. (They bought a building lot there but never built on it, AFAIK.) I’ve had even less exposure to skiing – both activities seem so far removed from my corner of reality that I can’t really imagine being in a position to engage in either. They seem as remote as space travel.
Fairfield Glade Resort in Tennessee
First wife’s HS boyfriend lived on the course. Crossville is the kind of town where if they had an extra million bucks I couldn’t be sure if they should spend it on dentists or psychiatrists.
That’s no way to talk about the hometown of American war hero Alvin York!
kinda right: Fentress County has much more claim to him than Cumberland owing to his birth and burial
FWIW, Crossville is a huge city compared to Pall Mall
I live in Fairfield Township now, it ain’t no resort…
My mom and future stepfather took me to golf one day in my mid-teens.
They didn’t make that mistake again. I’ve always worn my emotions on my sleeve so they probably guessed I was bored out of my fucking mind.
Skiing… I was an exchange student when we took a ski trip to Austria. Did ski club in later high school years. Have never been since and doubt my fitness for it 🙁
I went to a driving range once for golf lessons as a method of “getting out and doing something different.” I liked it, but not enough to stick with it.
XX learned what happened when you lost your sunscreen at the beginning of a day at the lake. Anybody know if edibles will actually help with the pain or if it will just make her not care?
So… it can do the opposite and make her obsess about it. Some aspirin and a good aloe vera rub (that doesn’t have alcohol in it) will help the most.
Although an edible is much, much better than a beer if you are sunburned.
/looks across river and sees Minnesoda now has recreational…takes notes.
Too local “Wait! What??” headline du jour Are Americans really enlisting in the Ukraine Armed Forces? Are they crazy??
Is this how it begins?
I assume Americans have been there since the beginning.
They aren’t crazy; they are susceptible to propaganda, though.
Don’t forget the sense of good old fashioned adventurism. Some young men just want to go off and fight.
Enh… I think they’re crazy, TBH.
There’s probably Ukrainians advertising all the Ukrainian pussy they can handle for any American willing to go, and some kid probably thinks alls he has to do is not die. Not that hard.
Americans aren’t enlisting in the US armed forces. Maybe if the US sends forces all the Ukraine flag people will join up.
I’ve played golf twice in my life.
Once in the Northwoods of Minnesoda. We played bare foot and shirtless. We came back with more balls than we started with.
The second time was in Washington State. The people I was with were sticklers for the rules. When I couldn’t hit the ball past the women’s tees, I played with my little* Enos the Penis out for the rest of the round. I’ve never played golf again.
*I’m a grower not a shower.
That official rule of golf was only supposed to be enforced on Scottish courses when wearing a kilt.
Sellers have been dropping the price on their house and we put in an offer but we want them to cover some of the closing costs. Miraculously, they just got another bid and said no to the closing costs but will take highest bid….
We ain’t budging so either they are bluffing hoping we agree to their terms or someone is about to pay what they were asking for before they dropped the price.
Good luck. Sounds like you’re making the right play.
We already have a backup plan so we aren’t dying for a house, it just came up and we made a play. The sellers are trying to buy another house but is contingent on selling this house. So, no skin off our back and we can keep looking while they lose the house they are trying to get into.
As a tween, I caddied at Southview Country Club. It was a very nice course and I took advantage of golfing on caddies day. As I grew older I continued to golf and noticed I was getting worse and worse the older I got. One day, about 10 years ago, I went golfing with a severe hangover and said “fuck this”. I finished that round and have never went back to the game.
A nice 9 hole par three course is about all I can handle, otherwise it just takes too damn long, and the best way to address hangover golf is to drink while playing.
Whom I think of when I hear “John Daly”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Charles_Daly
Morning all!
GT commented that my music offerings were on the calm side, so to switch things up…
Overwerk. He did the music as well as the video for this one (Winter). It was my introduction to him; the whole Canon EP was a treat. Pity he’s done nothing like it since.
This one (Canon) lures you in with the soothing sounds of Smetana, but then gets exciting 😉
Good morning, Shirley!
The music and video for “Winter” were really cool! Just enough of a driving beat to get your heart going in the morning without feeling as if you’ve been musically defibrillated! 😃
Good stuff. That first video is fantastic.
I may have to buy that EP so I can listen to it properly. there isn’t any upload of it with the movements attacca AFAICT and to make things worse, youtube drops an ad between them.
Winter video was fantastic. I think Vivaldi would approve.
Thank you all!
It’s great stuff, imnsho. I wish he’d do more like it. The whole EP is good to great.
I need a vacation.
I have the leave, but I’m not allowed to use it right now 🙁
😢 Any idea how soon you might get a reprieve?
I get one week labor day week, but then it’s back to work.
I need a vacation
*checks forecast*
Sunny, 86 degrees. Beach day!
We’re getting a Buc-ee’s! First one in Ohio! 😃🥳
Should I be excited?
🤷♂️
You mean they won’t have to call it Buc-eye’s?
Not until they get east of Springfield.
YES!
Best BBQ I had in Alabama was at the Bucc-ee’s
Though apparently OH can fuck up a Torchy’s, so who can say?
I was all set to blame Cleveland, but they’re only in Columbus, so.. I’ll blame Columbus.
One of those C-cities.
With lots of c-stores, but this one will be in HH.
To be fair I’ve only eaten at the OG(ish*) Torchy’s so maybe it can’t be reproduced well?
*The actual OG was a food truck, I ate at the first brick-and-mortar establishment.
So… you only ate one meal in Alabama?
I was there 10/13 – 10/24. The Bucc-ee’s stop was on the way home. I was served BBQ twelve times during those first eleven days.
We’re starting to see Sheetz east of Columbus now. Western invasion of gas station/c-store chains?
Plenty of those in PA. Stopped in a Sheetz outside of Scranton one night about 9:30 because nothing else was open. I won’t make that mistake again; it seemed to be a private club for local methheads and we were not welcome.
What do they sell, stretchy bed sheets?
Paper, clearly.
A fine assortment of gourmet late night snacks and gasoline.
Mornin’ from Mauch Chunk!
🌞😛
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bfQ98A-6mG8
🎶🎶
Are you Drunk in Mauch Chunk?
I was last night.
Good morning, Sean!
Is Mauch Chunk a new brand of chocolate bar from Hershey?
Lol, nope
IIRC that was the name of the town now known as Jim Thorpe (in PA).
Did you go to Brightpath brewery?
We don’t drink beer…
We did have some cocktails at Notch Eight craft house.
Mornin’, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie! 😁☕
Yo!
Good Morning to you
And how do you poo?