Chanukah Post!

This image was calling to me. I don’t know why.

Hebrew Hammer

This is the third year I have shown the Hebrew Hammer during the holidays.  This time, I actually got the date right.  So what new content could I possibly provide for this post?  How about the not so swell Hebrew Hammer vs. Hitler short film? Yes!  Watch it!  Be glad it never made feature length!  Point of discussion: How would that short have changed past October 7th of this year? Will Adam Goldberg and Johnathan Kesselman have an honest reappraisal of their political leanings? Are they embarrassed by saying Obama was “one of the tribe” in that short? I am not saying the republicant’s are an answer to anyone’s problems, but damn – wake up and stop voting for democrats! Listen to Dershowitz!

Hmmm… All the sudden I provided new content… And it was an extended whine, which hit “Jewish” on the whine scale… Mission Accomplished!

One last thing: Be sure and appreciate the talents of Judy Greer in this movie, because it’s time we gave Judy Greer the respect she deserves.

So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! I cannot promise we will have seasonal movies all December, as I am rather flighty this year.  After all, everything is voluntary.  At least next week we will have a Christmas film!  It’s A Christmas Horror Story with William Shatner!

Help! Tubi wants an account to sign in!

No account or sign-in is required to use Tubi. The only advantage to signing in is you can maintain a queue and save your place in movies you are watching. Follow these instructions to bypass the sign in:

After you click the link for the weekly movie, hit the Play button on the movie and you should get the screen shown below. The guest option may require scrolling up to see. Click the circled guest option to watch the film.

(h/t: The Hyperbole)

 

About The Author

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

138 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    I’m always First, RJ. The only difference is now I’m drunk, too.

    • R.J.

      Nice. I had Courvoisier and a Chik Fil A sandwich for dinner. An odd combo of gansta and whitebread.

      • CPRM

        Courvoisier

        The Ladies Man is the best SNL character to make it to film, fight me!

  2. Common Tater

    Happy Chanukkah!

    • Brochettaward

      Why does it feel like there’s a concerted effort to push the spelling of the less used Chanukah all of a sudden? Could just be paranoid, but it seems to be the new preferred term by corporate America.

      • tripacer

        Further Kievation of ethnic words.

        • tripacer

          Or Keevation?

      • R.J.

        Maybe. That’s the way I see it spelled around here, so I decided when in Rome… have some Courvoisier and a Chik Fil A sandwich and spell it Chanukkah. No other reason.

      • rhywun

        It is not an English word so it’s not surprising that there are multiple spellings. And not bothersome to me, since I don’t think (?) it’s politically motivated unlike some other examples from recent history.

        • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

          It isn’t an English word, and it doesn’t come from a Roman alphabet. It really is a best guess kinda thing when translating it.

      • Derpetologist

        The Chanukah spelling can be confusing for speakers who associate ch- with the sound made by it in the word “chin”.

        Hyman Rickover’s first name used to be Chaim. His parents changed it so that it would be easier for Americans to pronounce.

        Chef Boyardee famously changed the spelling of his name because he got tired of people saying it wrong.

        • Toxteth O'Grady

          I grew up mostly with “Hanukkah”, no C.

          Wouldn’t Boiardi emphasize the middle syllable?

          • Derpetologist

            My guess is that most Americans at the time would have pronounced it as “Boardy” or “Boar-die”. The vowel cluster “oia” is rare in English. I think “sequoia” is the only example. It would be amusing to do an experiment today to see how Americans pronounce “Boiardi”.

            Here is the man himself in a chef hat which breaks it down even more:

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ettore_Boiardi#/media/File:Chefboyardeepic.jpg

            • rhywun

              I speak some Eyetalian so no mystery to me.

              It annoys the shit out of me when certain Italians pronounce their own names wrong in order to “pass” – I’m looking at you, Steve Buscemi.

              • Toxteth O'Grady

                Mike Birbiglia.

              • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

                Buscemi gets a pass, as he isn’t even sure on how it supposed to be pronounced.

              • rhywun

                Buscemi gets a pass

                ?

                This isn’t rocket surgery. The correct pronunciation is obvious to anyone who has even a passing familiarity with Italian. There is no uncertainty about it.

              • Toxteth O'Grady

                Shemmy!

          • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

            “Wouldn’t Boiardi emphasize the middle syllable?”

            Only if he wanted more FLAVA!

        • DrOtto

          I have a Jewish rapper persona that goes by the name “Busta Hymen”.

          • R.J.

            *Golf clap

  3. R.J.

    Since I wrote this, Vimeo locked their site behind a paywall. You cannot go view Hammer vs. Hitler. Trust me, that’s a good thing.

  4. R.J.

    I will be scarce the next few weeks. I will be in a long vacation, enjoying the drink specials and gambling I need to survive. I went ahead and wrote up all the movie posts through end of the year. This is what we got:

    “A Christmas Horror Story” with the Shatner
    “Eight Crazy Nights” with the Sandler
    And for New Years week, “America 3000,” one of the better B movies to come out of the 1980s.

    I hope all of you have an excellent holiday season!

    • rhywun

      America 3000

      I have never heard of this. I’m going to classify it with the many other movies that came out in 1985 and 1986 I never heard of because I was living in Europa and oblivious to ‘Merican goings on.

      • R.J.

        It’s an incredible festival of 1980s apocalypse goodness. Complete with a Sasquatch that looks like STEVE SMITH’S Trans-Am driving uncle. It. Is. Fantastic.

    • Aloysious

      RJ, thanks for all you do. Take time and enjoy life.

      Merry Christmas and stuff.

      • R.J.

        Thanks!
        I hope the cruise ship has a movie house. If so I will watch Godzilla Minus One, which is getting great reviews around here.

      • DEG

        Seconded.

    • DrOtto

      I had a friend who went to “summer camp” for a year an a half (of a 5 year sentence). Good luck and keep your head down.

  5. rhywun

    I might pop this in after Buffy. I’ve always had a little thing for Adam. And I did not know to appreciate Judy last year. Now I know who she is, I’ll look out for her.

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      She is also one of he best parts of Arrested Development.

    • rhywun

      Grrr. Still bummed that the cable package at my new residence does not include MeTV. The tiers are super random here. I get that certain sports channels are now missing but… since when are both game show networks on the “premium” tier? Then of course there is FXX which is banned from Spectrum purely out of spite it would seem.

      • rhywun

        PS. the option to spend on a higher “tier” is there but… fuck it. I’m paying one third what I was paying last year and I’m OK with what I have.

        • R.J.

          Two options.
          1. Is there a MeTV affiliate nearby? You could just use an antenna.
          2. You can technically get MeTV with a streaming service and a VPN, but it would be a big PIA.

          • rhywun

            Yes, there is an affiliate in my market.

            LOL I have no idea how to attach/use an antenna with my smartypants TV. I haven’t had to do that in decades.

            • rhywun

              Like, how do I tune in to “channel 40.1”?!

              • Raven Nation

                Our smart tv has a dedicated antenna Jack. Then, somewhere in the menu there should be a command like “scan channels.” Should add everything to your guide.

              • Toxteth O'Grady

                Buy digital antenna (cheep!), thread into TV’s co-ax jack.

              • Toxteth O'Grady

                Never mind me, I have dum TVs.

              • rhywun

                I haven’t even looked. The idea of attaching a hardware antenna is so foreign nowadays I feel lost. But if I can MeTV that way, I’ll look into it.

              • R.J.

                Yes, you can.

              • Raven Nation

                This isn’t the one we have, but it’s pretty close. Our TV is in the basement (we don’t have cable) and I just ran the cable along the ceiling to get the flat plate close to the south-facing wall. We have 6 or 7 broadcast channels in our area (one of the PBS stations is iffy) but the antenna gives us about 35 channels, including METV and Comet with solid reception (here Comet is a digital channel affiliated with the local Fox station. METV is a digital associated, I think, with CW).

              • rhywun

                Thx.

                Ha Comet was actually not available in NYC by any means, but I have it on cable now FTW.

  6. R.J.

    Well, Tubi finally pulled the Hebrew Hammer. Sorry folks, looks like a bad post all around. Talk amongst yourselves.

    • Brochettaward

      Tubi has a lurker here confirmed.

      • R.J.

        “We gotta shut down that dude with the Brussels Sprout head. He’s dangerous.”

    • R.J.

      This is totally crazy. It wasn’t about to leave Tubi that I could see. WTF? I have three more in the hopper. If Tubi is going rogue on me it makes life very difficult.

      • rhywun

        I’m the resident anti-streamer but I can appreciate the once-in-a-while usage for nites like this.

        Also but, I am curious what is the business decision behind this. Assuming licensing but… imagine your job is fucking with your customers by randomly pulling properties. Ugh.

    • rhywun

      Shit, I was gonna watch. Well, maybe after 3rd period of this Sabres game.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      I’ll continue with Wonka

      • rhywun

        *confused dog look*

        I thought this was released yet?

        • rhywun

          “not”

        • Common Tater

          The original with Gene Wilder was on TCM tonight. Then it was remade with Johnny Depp? And then again with some underage twink.

          • The Hyperbole

            The underage twink is in a prequel not a remake.

            • Not Adahn

              Twink cruises around Africa looking for “oompa-loompa.”

              Wonka’s SES confirmed.

          • rhywun

            The Depp version is just weird and wrong.

            • Toxteth O'Grady

              Yeah, I paid money (or the then-beau did) to watch him act like Michael Jackson.

            • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

              That works on many levels.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Good choice, watching it now

    • Aloysious

      AH. I was trying to figure out why it wasn’t playing for me. I was even going to reboot the thingy.

      • R.J.

        Nope. We’ve been blacked out tonight. Main film and short subject. This is unprecedented in three years. Let me dig through the old movie bag…

    • Mojeaux

      Holy smokes. Amazon’s made it unavailable to watch.

      It’s also listed on Roku and Peacock, but I will assume they got pulled too. i’m not gonna look.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Yeah I’m thinking some group of Karens bitched.

        What is the word for a group of Karens?

        • Brochettaward

          Karen’s are pack animals. They can operate independently, but they gain in courage and boldness when in force.

          • Toxteth O'Grady

            Karen’s what are?

        • R.J.

          Karii?

          • rhywun

            Karenata.

            • R.J.

              Karenati!

              • rhywun

                Those are the mystical Karens.

        • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

          A Bitch of Karen’s.

    • Chafed

      G-d damn it! I just found that out the hard way.

      I’m taking some solace in them now having John Wick.

  7. R.J.

    Okay folks, this is one I wanted to show this year. “The Elf,” about a demonic Elf on the Shelf.

    https://link.tubi.tv/IxJVqTmPlFb

    • R.J.

      Please enjoy this replacement film!

      • R.J.

        Or don’t! Everything is voluntary!

        • Yusef drives a Kia

          I feel for ya, all set up and intertubes fuck you,
          Cheers!

          • R.J.

            Thanks! I got some Christmas booze for an upcoming party. All is well. Looks like it was blacked out everywhere, for Chanukah. That’s messed up.

      • R.J.

        I remember that one. A classic.

  8. kinnath

    Some good news for a change

    Hunter Biden was indicted on nine tax charges in California on Thursday as a special counsel investigation into the business dealings of the president’s son intensifies against the backdrop of the looming 2024 election.

    The new charges — three felonies and six misdemeanors — come in addition to federal firearms charges in Delaware alleging Hunter Biden broke a law against drug users having guns in 2018.

    • Chafed

      Huzzah!

  9. dbleagle

    After leftover penne w sausage and zucchini gravy and some nice red wine I will slip in my DVD of “The HH.”

    Happy Hannukah to all (offer does not apply to HAMAS).

    Tomorow my office will be visited by Hannukah Harry.

    • creech

      I thought it was a Hannukah Ardvark?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Holiday Armadillo?

  10. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    I’ve been bingeing on Guga Foods on Youtube. I’ve decided to try his 3-day buttermilk-marinated NY strip next time I grill.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      (the blind taste testers thought it was wagyu – it was just USDA Choice)

  11. DEG

    This image was calling to me. I don’t know why.

    I don’t know why either.

    I saw “Godzilla Minus One” earlier. It’s great. Folks should go see it when they have a chance.

    • Common Tater

      64-bit systems can handle positive integers bigger than 2^64.

      • Derpetologist

        [annoyed Homer voice] Explain how!

        Also, should be 100,000! Typos, I make them.

        • Common Tater

          By using more than one “word”, or row in the heap, or however you want to look at it, for the same number.

    • rhywun

      Trickery.

      There are ways to calculate arbitrarily large integers without having fit into the limitations of the hardware’s representation of an integer.

      • rhywun

        As for 100,000!, it would have to be an artificial limitation imposed by the website.

  12. Common Tater

    I just watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation (1989). It wasn’t good.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      It really isn’t, is it? Glad someone agrees.

      • Common Tater

        It doesn’t have much of a plot, or character development. Just a bunch of Chevy Chase doing pratfalls.

        • Toxteth O'Grady

          +2 potato

        • Toxteth O'Grady

          Ya know what? I don’t care for Wilder Wonka either. 🤫

        • Toxteth O'Grady

          And I think European Vacation is a tad underrated. Ha!

    • CPRM

      Watching Vegas Vacation motivated me to take the Dam Tour when I moved to Vegas. But the 9/11 happened, and no looky loos, might be jihadis.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I got to see the new(ish) bridge built, so we went through the dam à la Lost in America.

        I hear fees are now gathered to drive through it?!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You people are SICK!!!

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Whoa whoa whoa!!! That’s a classic!

      Shitter’s full!

    • Fatty Bolger

      You serious Tater?

  13. Chafed

    I’m home late but diving in now. Thanks R.J.

  14. rhywun

    (((Early dismissal))) tomorrow, thank goodness. Long f—–g week. And a warm weekend breaking into the 50s! I’m looking forward to cracking a window open.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Jesus, 50? Why so cold?
      I do my morning smoke thing at 57,
      Brrr,

  15. Yusef drives a Kia

    “This year has been dominated by the Russia-Ukraine war, recession, the China-US standoff, and the Hamas terrorist attack and Gaza war. Yet as earth-shattering as these conflicts and tragedies are, the next two years could aggravate them and surpass them all if the threat of a second Trumwep presidency comes to pass.”
    And the world turns….

    • Not Adahn

      First he gets expelled, the relegated? Not Georgie’s week.

  16. Sean

    Almost to the weekend. Happy Friday morning!*

    😁🍳☕

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F586JktJyEg

    Unplugged 🎶🎶

    * Except UCS, who hates Fridays.

    “Show us on the doll where Friday touched you, UCS.”

  17. Beau Knott

    Good morning all!
    After The Byrds yesterday, we have Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young today. They may have been shits, but they could sing.

    Southern Cross.

    Share and enjoy!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Beau, Sean, and Stinky!

        • Gender Traitor

          Good morning, U! How’s it going so far?

          • UnCivilServant

            I’ve been awake since midnight. I don’t know when I went to sleep originally.

            • Gender Traitor

              😳

    • Ghostpatzer

      Very nice. CSN is the best version of CSNY.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Ah, that explains our Gmail issues at $employer yesterday.

  18. Stinky Wizzleteats

    -The Failed Rockford Files Spin-offs
    https://youtu.be/k0Hu3WM6Hto?si=RqTRJXJOIvRCOLgh

    Isaac Hayes and Lou Gossett Jr teaming up to fight bad guys? I woulda watched it. The other two look kind of good too (well, at least not bad).

  19. Tres Cool

    Suh’ fam
    Yo what’s goody

    /Hey from Clarion, PA

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey!

    • Sean

      Wrong side of the state.

      *waves*

      • Timeloose

        Hi, I agree with Sean. Get away from those Yinns.

      • Tres Cool

        Well I was just in West Hazleton if that was any closer.
        2 hours fromPhilly, maybe?

  20. Ghostpatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

    In case you thought Google was the only scummy tech company –

    I have an email account with my ISP. One of their “features” is the inability to turn off their spam filter. On multiple occasions they have sent important correspondence to the bit bucket, so from time to time I log in to their shitty web app to check my junk.

    This morning I check my junk, and there, intermingled with the usual offers from Nigerian princes and Eastern European princesses, I find two emails from Team Kennedy. RFK, that is. Now I get that they contain links to donate to the cause, so maybe that trigger their filters. Except that similar things from other sources somehow don’t get filtered. I’m in the process of moving important things to protonmail, not that I completely trust them either.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie!

      There are tech companies that AREN’T scummy?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Yeah, I should be more aware of the audience when posting. Especially with euphemisms.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I recently got Proton’s suite of paid services and I’ve been very happy with it so far. The free Protonmail is a good service but the total memory available for your stuff is somewhat limited and, yeah, don’t completely trust any of these companies.

      • Ghostpatzer

        I signed up for the paid services a year ago, but haven’t found the time to take full advantage. I expect to have much more free time starting next year.

      • R C Dean

        Same here. Upgraded to paid for one account, and no complaints at all. Come to think of it, I need to check because I think my annual runs out soon. Keep meaning to look into their new password vault thingie service, too.

  21. Tres Cool

    Westbound and down- Im only 90 minutes or so from Ohio

    Allons-Y !