The sad part about all of this is the likelihood one of these ends up in my house.

This is my review of Abnormal Darth Pivo Dark Czech Lager:

Once upon a time I got my hands on a copy of Car and Driver, and they famously published an article on the dangers of texting and driving.  It wasn’t exactly scientific, but they did account for a lot of factors like the age of the driver, it was hard to question their methodology.  Except for the part where they compared their reaction time after sharing a fifth of vodka.  TL/DR:  They drove better drunk.

Its okay, because soon the car will drive itself, right?  We won’t need to worry about people doing stupid things in cars anymore!

Then Apple released this ….thing.  I don’t know what to make of it.  Its a set of goggles that allows the user to enter the brave new world of “spatial computing”.  At first glance I can happily say get off my lawn, but on the second thought I might do some research and find a “pick and shovel” type of investment related to it.  Its an Apple product:  its clean, the software is thoroughly integrated with other Apple products, its proprietary, and its really goddamn expensive.

Naturally, Tesla drivers are wearing them while driving—but its cool because its a prank.  Except it isn’t because this is triggered the nannies (TW:  The Gruniad):

“Reminder – ALL advanced driver assistance systems available today require the hum

an driver to be in control and fully engaged in the driving task at all times,” Buttigieg said.

Apple’s Vision Pro was released last week and blends three-dimensional digital content with a view of the outside world. Apple, which says people should never use it while operating a moving vehicle, did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Apple already integrates into many modern cars through Apple Car Play.  So they can probably disable the Vision Pro in the car without us having to go through draconian measures approved by Mayor Pete in order to drive without fear of some Zoomer checking in on his OnlyFans harem behind the wheel.

What am I saying?  They’re already doing that.


Its not a Vienna Lager.  Its not a Bock.  Its a dark Pilsner.  WTF you ask?  To be honest it actually does work pretty well.  Its not as thick and sweet as the former but on the nose a lovely note of Czech Saaz hops remind of the time you left your keys in the tackle box. Now where did you leave the tackle box?  No matter.  There are some toasty, chocolate undertones but they keep it muted enough it doesn’t overwhelm.  You will like this, even if you piss and moan about beer flavored beer. Abnormal Darth Pivo Dark Czech Lager:  3.8/5  4.9% ABV