“Candace said that Charlie came to her in a dream,” the hat said.
“When did you talk to her?” the hair asked.
“When you were asleep a little while ago,” the hat said. “We talk on the phone sometimes.”
“Anyone else, like anyone else,” the hair said. “At least Nick sometimes has funny stories about Grindr.”
“I can have friends, you know,” the hat said.
“OK, whatever. Tell me about her dream.”
“She says there was a bright light…” the hat began.
“Like a bedroom light?”
“No, like a bright white dream light.”
“OK, sure.”
“Like heaven light, pearly gates light,” the hat said doggedly.
“OK, then what happened?”
“Charlie floated down out of, you know, the light.”
“The heaven light,” the hair said.
“Can you just listen to the story?”
“Sorry,” the hair sorried.
“So Charlie floats down and tells her it was the Jews that killed him.”
“Robinson doesn’t sound like a Jewish name,” the hair said.
“No, like the Jew set him up, Robinson is just a patsy.”
“You ever notice that it’s always the Jews with Candace⸮” the hair asked.
“Some things are the fault of the Jews.”
“Like pastrami?”
“Mossad are everywhere.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “They could be in the room with us right now.”
“Nutbag. You utter, wrinkled nutbag.”
“Look, statistically, some things have to be the fault of the Jews. And I quote: The Juwes are the men that will not be blamed for nothing.”
“I don’t think you understand that quote.”
“No, they will not be blamed for nothing means they will be blamed for something.”
“And what’s the quote from?”
“Jack the Ripper. It’s embarrassing you don’t know that.”
Donald sat up from where he was sprawled facedown on his desk. “Candace called?” he mumbled. “Did I miss her?”
“She had a dream that Charlie Kirk came down from heaven and told her the Jews killed him,” the hat said eagerly.
“Nonsense. Nettingyahoo would have told me,” Donald said.
“Netanyahu,” the hair said.
“What did I say?” Donald asked.
“Nettingyahoo.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Donald said. “We’re both saying it the same way.”
“Moving on…” the hair said.
“I haven’t said anything in quite a while,” the hat said angrily.
“I’m going to bed,” Donald said. He picked up the squirming hair and jammed it on to his head.
As he lumbered away like some majestic beast, the hat called out to the retreating hair, “I was also Jack the Ripper’s hat!”
“At least Nick sometimes has funny stories about Grindr.”
Sortor or Gillespie?
Fuentes.
Would that not be an amazing three-way spitefuck?
I’m open to discussion of who would be the bread, and who would be the salami…
Would that not be an amazing three-way spitefuck?
I guess if you’re gay.
Me, I’d rather just not be on the same planet as them.
Gillespie is the one wearing the jacket, so he’s probably either top bread or in the middle
The Jacket sort of forms a turtle shell over the three of them as protection from predators, so Nick has to be the top. For safety’s sake. OSHA regs, you know.
I’d heard the name but wasn’t familiar with Sortor, so a DDG search turned up an article with a quote that tenuously leads back to Gillespie.
🙄
He doesn’t even have a degree from Columbia!
They’re not wrong. Sort or isn’t very good at the provocateur schtick either.
“So Charlie floats down and tells her it was the Jews that killed him.”
Sounds legit.
““No, like the Jew set him up, Robinson is just a pasty.”
A tasty pasty or a testy pastie?
“I was also Jack the Ripper’s hat!”
Explains a lot.
A rare actual outburst of laughter from that.
But is the correct pronunciation “nettingyahoo” or “nettingyow?”
Pasty
A pot pie you eat with your fingers.
I spend a week at Harry Potterland once. The best breakfast was Cornish pasties and cider.
“Is that made from real corn?”
“It’s Corn-ish.”
A week!?
It was either year or ten years on Devil’s Island.
He regrets the decision.
Also it ranks highly for dumb press analogies.
“Nobel Prize in chemistry goes to discovery that draws comparison to magical ‘Harry Potter’ handbag”
https://apnews.com/article/nobel-prize-chemistry-87dcb74eb01e3d5ba8efc32832e51ef6
I had fewer problems with the series before people incessantly compared things to it in ways that are *bleep*ing stupid.
Slumbrew:
Yup. There was a woman involved. Far and away the hottest I’ve ever been with. HUUUUUGE Potterfan. She got invited to a HP convention to present her work in Potter Pedagogy. She taught at UT-Arlington at the time.
You have to make comparisons like that one to the tardis or the Suzuki Sidekick.
If you own one you know they are bigger on the inside.
So, a “bag of holding”
Also the luggage in discworld.
During the 2004 Worldcon in Boston there was a prop luggage that zoomed around the stage during one of Sir Terry’s events. I think it was also part of the Discworld cosplay with Cohen the barbarian and others (Marty gear played Cohen)
Pull my finger. I’ll show you where all that gas went.
Also – A UT Arlington professor?
Yup. There was a woman involved. Far and away the hottest I’ve ever been with. HUUUUUGE Potterfan. She got invited to a HP convention to present her work in Potter Pedagogy. She taught at UT-Arlington at the time.
And now she offers to do naked housekeeping.
Teds – lord no. Naked housekeeper is less than half her age now but triple her mass.
I don’t think Naked housekeeper has read the HP books. Or any books actually.
Bookmark this for Tres.
Wow. Don’t over season, whatever you do. The taste buds might explode. Lard gives something, sure, but where’s the garlic?
Also, shouldn’t it be ‘flavouring’? Flavoooring? Whatever. I now shall retire and rend my garments.
I fixed the typo and now you all look stupid.
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cb/ae/68/cbae683fb6d969506fc5b48882dec556.gif
Only now?
I’M OFFENDED I’D LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!
I’ll have you know that I only drank a little this morning.
A little what, though?
I make my own cinnamon bourbon, like Fireball without the chemical fire taste.
It is excellent in both coffee and eggnog.
Mmm. I usually dump B&B in my eggnog – cinnamon bourbon would be a nice variation on the theme.
I’ll have you know that I only drank a little this morning.
You typoed liter
I thought he had hair of the dog and so drank a litter…
Sheldon, I’ll write my recipe down. It’s just all in my head.
Just try to get strippers to wear them on their nipples though….
I love this so much. The hair tries so hard to have some sort of dignity, but it’s just not to be.
That is great.
This must be why it always looks smooshed.
For you long-roof aficionados
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/2006-saab-9-3-39/
Needs more wood panelling.
It’s no Country Squire.
A front wheel drive station wagon?
Hearsay.
Huh, for some reason I thought those were AWD.
You seem to have an objection.
Emotions can overrule reason.
Mine(2004 Saab 9-5) is great.
This is fantastic:
https://x.com/Liberty_Xtreme/status/1975656653585256927
Man hunts squirrels with his natural fangs and claws. He was arrested for hunting without a license. Which one of you is this?
Not it. He’s texan and tattooed.
You need a lisence to kill vermin in Texas?
Much freedom.
It’s not nearly as free and awesome here as you would think.
Just better marketing.
Still, it was a better move for me
Paging Don….
Face: asymmetrical. Neck tattoo. Looks like he’s met STEVE SMITH. Picture checks out.
Conclusion; not me.
Reminds me of a story from the early 90s in my neck of the woods, unit 10 in idaho iirc, where a guy jumped out of a tree stand with a spear and killed an elk.
He had a tag so no fuss from the fish and game but it was talked about in the area for years.
This is what happens when the Therians get into the bath salts…
Good lord I would cross the street if I saw that coming my way.
If I had to imagine what someone that hunts squirrels with their bare hands looked like, it would be that dude.
Good to know The Undertaker has some hobbies in retirement.
Trashy for the win.
Wrong side of DFW for me, I do all my squirrel hunting further west.
Disorderly for growling at game wardens? Free speech! Free grrrr!
HUUUUUGE Potterfan. She got invited to a HP convention to present her work in Potter Pedagogy. She taught at UT-Arlington at the time.
A seat for every ass.
Her ass would have inspired an entire generation of mathematicians dedicated to modelling its topography.
An ass shaped like a Klein bottle?
And technically don’t you mean topology?
I was distracted by memories of callipygian perfection.
What‽ You got a great ass!
(NSFW audio)
“‘Cause she’s got a GREAT ASS!!!!!”
callipygian perfection
It is Wednesday after all… (looks around expectantly).
Pretty much all I remember about the Harry Potter movie Is my bitter disappointment when the three headed dog failed to eat that incredibly obnoxious little girl.
and just think she only managed to get more obnoxious as she got older.
By the way, in case you haven’t seen it, Candace Owens really did say she had a dream where Charlie Kirk appeared to her and told her he was “killed by a country that poses severe foreign policy implications.” Which for Owens always means Jews/Israel.
“I similarly, like I just said, had a vivid dream this weekend and Charlie came to me and he told me that he was betrayed,” she revealed. “You don’t have to believe that, but I do believe that, and it was the immediate sense I got, actually. And I don’t know who exactly it is that betrayed him, but I also felt in the dream that it is soon going to be revealed. That it’s actually inevitable that it’s going to be revealed. That there is nothing and no one that is going to stop the truth from coming out and it is going to have international consequences.”
https://www.mediaite.com/politics/candace-owens-says-charlie-kirk-came-to-me-in-a-dream-and-told-me-he-was-betrayed/
As The Hair noted, it’s always the Jews with her these days.
(and am I missing a joke w/ that backwards question mark?)
It’s a little used punctuation that indicates a rhetorical question.
It’s not just Spanish?
That’s upside-down.
There is also the interrobang: ‽
It is a single symbol for “?!?”
Now that I know this, I’m gonna overuse it like I overuse the Blockquote tag.
Do you happen to know the Alt-code?
U+203D
Although I usually just cut and paste it in.
Ah, I’m a longtime interrobang fan.
I even have a keyboard shortcut for it; ‽
ES, the interrobang is & # 8 2 5 3 ;
I thought an interrobang was what Fang Fang was doing with Swallow-well.
Candace Owen is the Laura Loomer of Marjorie Taylor Greenes?
And while we’re on the subject of amazing three-way spitefucks…
The math checks out.
She’s been increasingly unhinged. It’s disturbing that anyone ever took/takes her seriously, but she has a following.
She was open to the idea of a flat Earth, and sounded like she actually believed in it but was couching it in ‘open minded’ terms for debate purposes. She is a complete crackpot.
I withheld judgment for a long time because I imagined that most of the smoke around her was associated with her less than amicable departure from DW or wherever she was. However, that smoke keeps on pouring out, and I’ve heard a few longer form things from her that made me question what she’s doing. As such, I’m leaning toward her going nutzo rather than it being a prolonged hatchet job.
This is the important research we pay you for.
Doing political satire leads me to pull in a lot of news and commentary. It’s all in my head. It’s kinda horrible.
Aw, you big lug. The kinda horrible was in your head long before the news and commentary. It’s why we love you, and also why our mothers won’t let you come over to play.
Yeah I wasn’t in doubt she said that.
Her and Tucker Carlson have both gone kind of off the deep end together. Or they just hid it fairly successfully until recently.
I think Tucker has been much more level headed than she has. He does that annoying “not saying, just saying” gag that ends up leaving a lot to the listener’s imagination. I find it annoying, but whenever he speaks about such issues (Israel, Ukraine, COVID, etc) in longer form, he seems less out there than the sound bites make him sound.
It seems to me that anybody who digs into foreign policy with an “open mind” for very long ends up way outside the Overton window very quickly.
Tucker is getting Qatari money. (Not a joke.)
Qatari rubles?
Boy she went off the deep end quickly. From new talent to hot mess faster than a Lambo can do 0-60.
Good thing there was no other instance of a person getting betrayed by a close confidante and then getting killed by the Jews. Because if there was, it might have been the influence for her dream.
Hillary Clinton is a Jew?
First they came for the Pi and did not speak out because I wasn’t a large user of cheap computing devices…
“Qualcomm is buying Arduino, releases new Raspberry Pi-esque Arduino board”
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/10/arduino-retains-its-brand-and-mission-following-acquisition-by-qualcomm/
😭
Well, that sucks. OrangePi for the win?
You don’t have to believe that
Phew.
I was distracted by memories of callipygian perfection.
So round. So firm. So fully packed.
I thought that was the Keeshka hanging on a rack.
They’d better have more than a lame ChatGPT prompt. I don’t know why they put that in… it wouldn’t mean he’s an arsonist, he might just be having apocalyptic dreams and wanted to visualize them…
I have to assume there’s actual evidence they didn’t put out there…. but given various prosecutorial fuckups over my lifetime… I’m not holding my breath either.
@Tater, I buzzed my hair because it’s very coarse, very thick, very heavy, very hot, and was very long. It can dread itself if I look in the mirror wrong. Taking care of it is a major undertaking and I was tired of it and the rat’s nest it was.
Hmm, posting about cutting off all your hair on this post is just begging for your shorn tresses to have an unsavory encounter with Sugarfree’s creations. The hair needs a love interest…
It can dread itself – you would not want to be suspected of kultural apropriashun
I am finally getting a haircut today. I was looking like a damn dirty hippie.
“Moving on…” the hair said.
That has to be the title of The Hat and Hair memoir at the end of Trump’s term.
There will be no end to Trump’s term. Haven’t you been Paying Attention? WAKE UP MAN!
“Sorry,” the hair sorried.
these are the lines that separate the pros from the amateurs
The Hair is Canadian? I’m surprised the Donald would let a filthy immigrant follicle around on his head.
The hair is American, ya punk!
The Canadian version would be “Sorey,” The Hair sorreed.”
I have 800 rounds waiting to be picked up by me in St. George. Sportsman’s Warehouse has legitimately decent ammo prices.
This is fun. Add yet another to the list of people who the left abused, and it now comes back to bite them in the ass.
Andy Ngo
@MrAndyNgo
I’m inside the White House. I will be speaking with the U.S. President and his cabinet about Antifa.
https://x.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1975997369192939683
Brake check
Toward the end of last month, GM devised a plan to have its in-house lending arm initiate the purchase of EVs in its dealers’ inventory. The company planned to apply for the federal $7,500 credit on those cars hours ahead of the deadline then roll that money into EV lease terms for customers.
“After further consideration, we have decided not to claim the tax credit,” the company said in a statement to Reuters on Wednesday.
GM opted to kill the program after concerns were raised about it by Republican Senator Bernie Moreno, a former car dealer who is active in auto policy, a person briefed on the matter told Reuters.
That’s not how it works?
I have a folder full of documents because bureaucracy, and forgot the most important one. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️