I told you I was going to do it. Let the contrarian nonsense begin!
This is my review of Magnanimous Brewing Brecher Bier:
Christopher Nolan…at this point I want to make it clear that had this been made by anyone else I wouldn’t have given it a chance at all. There are obvious drawbacks of course—all of his movies have a quality visuals, ominous music, “superior” British actors, and random emotional outbursts. Yet all come with a simple story, with an ending that sort of doesn’t live up to the hype the rest of the plot creates. In other words, even Christopher Nolan couldn’t fuck up a 3000 year old story.
I am going to go through most of the complaints I’ve come across online and attempt to defend the indefensible.
A Faithless Retelling.
The actual part I take issue with is the faithless retelling. Odysseus in the poem is portrayed as a archetypal hero that wins with his wits, a trickster, with pride as his fatal flaw that is punished by the gods because he did not see it was with their good grace that he was able to succeed in Troy at all. In this version he is typecast as a sullen, depressed war veteran struggling with his role in the horrors he witnessed in Troy. Nowhere is it mentioned the Trojan Horse worked with Poseidon’s help in killing the only Trojan that realized it was a ruse. Later it was never mentioned the Cyclops was Poseidon’s son, and it even leaves out the part where Odysseus tricks the Cyclops to escape. The Cyclops just doesn’t seem to really care there are men in his cave until they blinded him. The whole story is changed by leaving out these two details, because if not for crossing him, why would Poseidon otherwise choose to send Odysseus on a boat ride from Hades?
“Man up, Odysseus. Quit whining about sacking Troy. You didn’t kill that kid, Agamemnon did that. You just opened the gate.
…Okay fuck it, now you made me mad for bitching out.”
While I can appreciate a complaint in deviating from the source material, I will point out every Hollywood version of this deviates from the original story. Ironically an opinion even held by the feminist scholar providing Nolan with a feminist interpretation and translation for the script. If one were to faithfully retell this story it would be a LOTR style trilogy each lasting 3 hours. Wait…even the LOTR trilogy left a ton of stuff out too…
Wrong Ship, Dumbass
This can easily fall under the faithless retelling banner but the sudden interest in demonstrating expertise in maritime architecture and boat design brings to mind the people complaining about this the loudest are the same people that refused the COVID vaccine because it was clearly untested and made with ingredients cooked up in a ChiCom laboratory. Never mind two minutes later they are going to peddle their brand of peptides and supplements that are clearly untested and made with ingredients cooked up in a ChiCom laboratory. Am I hand waving a legitimate complaint with an ad hominem? Yes, yes I am.
Besides does it really matter? When comparing both ship designs is it not obvious it was the same aliens posing as gods in Greece and Sweden were the same aliens giving them designs for the same ship? They built an actual boat to film this, rather than create a GCI boat floating in a wave pool in the outskirts of LA, can we just take the win on that?
The Cast of Communists
Now for the elephant in the room. Yes Elliot aka Ellen Paige is in this movie, and plays a prominent role. Yes, Helen of Troy is played by black woman, like a straight up African black woman that Eddie Murphy used to have bits about in the 80’s. None of the cast is actually Greek with the possible exception of Agamemnon. Since we never actually see his face I’m just going off a scene where he finally removes his Imperial Marine style Techno-Corinthian war helmet revealing the back of his head. For all I know that could easily be a Jew-Fro. This is not a complaint, in the 5 minutes he was in this movie, Agamemnon was badass.
I have already argued that one actor can play a role they are not physically suited for—these are people paid to pretend to be other people. Like Elizabeth Taylor playing Cleopatra in spite of the fact she looked nothing like her, different cultures have differing standards for beauty so as long as you are presenting it for the intended audience—wait you don’t find Lupita Nyong’o attractive? Do you dislike her gauche commentary when marketing the movie? Neither do I, and I try to not give a damn what people paid to pretend to be more interesting people think. She’s in two scenes and has fewer lines and screen time than Agamemnon, one of which is her stabbing him. If anything, she’s a moron for not complaining about nobody giving her a bigger role.
As for Elliot aka Ellen Paige. First thing to mention is the long standing tradition in theater of roles of adolescent male characters being played by women. If you consider it in this lens its not so weird. The other thing to mention is Achilles is not a central character in the Odyssey, so how that became a rumor is a bit odd. Achilles does make a brief appearance talking to Odysseus in the underworld, so that might have been the source of the rumor. In the movie Odysseus does talk to Sinon as a way to confront his past in sacking Troy, and to explain to Sinon why he had to die to make it happen as a form of atonement.
Otherwise I’m going to say something controversial—this was the perfect person for the role.
Early in the movie we have John Leguizamo (fucking really?) explain how they decided who in Ithaca gets conscripted. It was by lottery. Atinnius pulls a stick indicating he was drafted. His father intervenes and everyone including Odysseus agrees Atinnius stays home while his younger brother Sinon goes to Troy. Again with the faithless retelling… Atinnius of course is one of the suitors later looking for Penelope’s hand to become king. If you needed to give the boomers in the audience an indicator Atinnius was a piece of shit, selfishly sending his retarded, low T brother to Troy in his place is probably the best way to do it. Wouldn’t he be a hazard in battle? Yeah, which is why Odysseus left the retarded, low T brother as bait for the Trojans rather than someone actually useful.
Nevertheless, this was unnecessary. As the Critical Drinker explains, if there is anyone standing out in the cast as actually selling himself in his role, its the guy from Twilight playing Atinnius, so we all can agree to hate him. In the end, keep in mind the internet is not real life, and complaining about the movie on the internet is not going to keep legions of normies from watching it. Certainly it won’t bother Christopher Nolan enough for him to cry into his giant pile of money.
What? This beer is not Greek? Good, neither is the movie. I could try to play Helles off as a pun but lets not go there. This one might’ve gotten shaken up somewhere on the drive home because I wasn’t expecting that much head. Its otherwise competently made, and hits the main points of the style but wasn’t anything particularly remarkable—sort of like this movie. Magnanimous Brewing Brecher Bier: 2.5/5
I am not trying to be a snooty asshole (it just comes naturally) but I have no interest in anything “entertainers” do or say off screen, off stage, or out of character. They are what they are in the celluloid moment and nothing more.
Hah! Next you’ll be telling us that politicians are play acting a role.
Also, the stripper doesn’t like you, she just wants your money.
Stop harshing my buzz.
Also, the stripper doesn’t like you, she just wants your money.
Nah man. Veronica is differentl.
They Borrowed a boat someone else made. Which then begs the question why not try to borrow one of the actual triremes the Greeks made just as recently? It’s the same amount of effort.
and apparently damaged it and are ignoring the poor owner’s plea that they honor the contract and pay the $6000 repair bill.
That’s the owner’s fault, he knew the story, and he knew the boat will get trashed.
The trireme is a much later Greek boat design, so it’s really only a guess what a boat of Golden Age Greece would’ve looked like anyway. Which brings me to… Imperial Marine style Techno-Corinthian war helmet. Yep, Nolan has a definite visual style and any sense of accuracy (with this or the armor of the era) is only going to aggravate the pedants.
Give the people what they want
I was hoping that’s what it would be.
I had an idea of doing an article where I visit places in New York with the same name as places in the Odessey, since Troy and Ithaca are not terribly far apart. Then people started memeing about the drive between those cities and I sorta lost interest.
So you were into New York geography before it was cool? That’s an interesting hipster niche. 😉
You’re not far from Greece, Corinth, and Malta.
Or Homer, Tully, Manlius, Syracuse, Hector, Marcellus, Camillus, and on and on.
I forget his name but one dude named all of that shit.
I might do a tour of the capitals of Europe without ever leaving Ohio.
Rome, Berlin, Madrid, London, Athens, Dublin, Warsaw, and Lisbon.
I wonder if the buzz about the Odyssey played into the Dems picking a guy named Troy to stand in for the Nazi in Maine?
The “lumberjack” who has actually been a state government flunky for a couple decades?
Did they have rapid fire semi-auto bows and arrows, like in that Robin Hood movie?
Obligatory:
https://www.startpage.com/av/proxy-image?piurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Foriginal%2F002%2F446%2F054%2Fe36.jpg&sp=1784997880T026891bd4c4a39d4fc8dafd0a90be25b48488a3ec0a5aa15ef6b3920efe865cb
I swear you people at looking at what I have scheduled as reviews.
Your review of The Apple on Thursday night is going to be epic.
I couldn’t get a working Apple I, so I couldn’t review it.
Are you talking about Hawk the Slayer?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Veszrg1TErk
He, he, he
The more I think about it, there more I think that Christopher Nolan is just kinda overrated as a director.
He’s not incompetent by any means, but his body of work really doesn’t support the amount of nuthanging.
^^^ Money shot right there.
I’ll give him three unimpeachably good movies – Memento, The Prestige, and Inception . Everything else he’s directed has varied between ‘slop’ and ‘meh.’
Now I would’ve gone with Insomnia, The Prestige and The Dark Knight – but perhaps that’s because I’m relying more on the performances he gets out of those actors, and less about his heavy handed style.
The helmet thing here just screams King Agabatman.
I prefer Oppenheimer to Inception. I found it actually more emotionally resonant. The Dark Knight is a solid one, too. The other 2 Batflicks are not terrible.
The original Insomnia is better IMHO. Pacino doesn’t quite cut it.
Exactly my thoughts on Insomnia. The original was way better.
The Dark Knight was 100% carried by Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker. The rest of that movie was an incoherent, poorly acted muddle.
The original Insomnia is better
Curious – dubbed or subtitled?
I only ever saw it with the subtitles.
The best I might say about Nolan – he’s not Wes Anderson.
Not a fan of weapons-grade tweeness?
My three are Memento, Inception, and Interstellar.
I have Tenet somewhere but haven’t watched it yet. I mostly only do genre stuff minus superheroes which rules out almost everything else he has done.
Nolan is a Michelin rated chef working at the local diner.
aggravate the pedants
The Prestige- was that about magicians (illusionists) with Batman in it?
Yep.
It was all wet.
I’ll still likely see it. The 3hrs is putting me off more than anything, but Indy’s got one of the few screens big enough for the “intended effect.” *shrug* I’ll (maybe) see.
/ded but OT: Soon time to head out and see Young Washington with M&D. I’m excited for it. Mom said last time they saw whatever they saw (not Odyssey), he talked during the previews but was good during the movie. He jokes that likes old, western-like shows where black hats etc are clear signs of evil characters and intent. He’s not entirely joking. He’s very, very intimidated by his lack of intelligence. Mom’s got her fingers crossed. I wanna get some pocket candy before I go. *begins scheming*
It’s history the family loves (minus bro and SiL+), so he should be. I likely won’t be with the French. Should be fun, but I know they’ll wanna sit and talk and shit, which I kinda (selfishly) really don’t wanna do. But it’ll be a nice, chill Saturday. Game to chill with later this eve and I may try to get something done. Writing about the warehouse work is pretty tempting.
TPTB: Oh, I put my “Mr. Brainy-Poo’s Crest Quest” on the calendar cuz I didn’t know how to do it properly. I left a little note.
Speaking of grandiose mythologizing
Mamdani went on X to tell those with second homes in New York City worth more than $5 million that “you’ve got mail” and a “new pied-a-terre tax.” He gleefully declared, “The best city in the world deserves the best parks, libraries, and schools in the world. That’s only possible when we all pay our fair share.”
Zeron is a lot like a Greek hero, when you think about it.
I imagine anyone who can afford a $5MM dollar second home can afford the additional tax. I’m genuinely curious to know when someone in that economic strata says enough is enough.
The assessed value of $5m in NYC is about 10 sq ft.
I think the figure I saw was 11 billion dollars of economic activity he has already driven out of the city this year.
“best schools”
NYC spends double the next highest spender and the results are exactly what you would expect.
Why people who visit NYC now and then have to pay more than full time residents as their “fair share” is less than intuitively obvious.
It makes sense when you recognize that communists like him are driven mostly by envy, greed, and hatred.
I appreciate your review MS. I’ll probably not see the movie but I am interested in the frothing about it. Nerdrotic slammed it for the usual reasons. Red Letter Media liked it but I don’t they loved it. I was expecting more nuance from them but whatever. The Critical Drinker had the most nuanced review I’ve seen so far. I get the impression both the lovers and the haters are overstating their case.
Yeah, once the red meat of the bizarro casting was thrown out there, everybody did their usual “turn off brain” culture war thing and started frothing about how it was the best movie EVAR or its a terrible insult to Western Civilization.
Mostly before anyone had actually seen it.
Exactly. See it first then tell me how much it sucks.
Or skip it and shut up also works
Thanks, I think its likely the case. Outrage sells.
Avila Chevalier, the prison abolitionist who won a recent primary for Congress in New York. This radical, who once boasted how she once wiped her dirty hands on the American flag, was pressed on whether there has ever been a “successful model of socialism anywhere in the world outside the U.S., in terms of both human rights and widespread economic justice.”
She responded by citing Sweden and Norway, as other figures such as Sanders have done before her. Indeed, the claim of successful Scandinavian socialist systems is a sort of Marxist bedtime fairytale, told to children about a workers’ paradise in quaint Nordic fishing villages.
That would be the KINGDOMS of Norway and Sweden, to you and me. But I’m sure the NO KINGZ mob can handwave that away.
And both of these countries are arguably more “free market” than NY is now.
I’ll just admit I have zero interest in this movie. I didn’t read any of that stuff in high school, either. Or maybe I was assigned some of it and just could not even.
I was a big fan of Greek mythology when I was a kid, but have absolutely no interest in this movie, on the big or little screen.
I think the figure I saw was 11 billion dollars of economic activity he has already driven out of the city this year.
I wonder what the hit will be when Ken Griffin rides the elevator down from his penthouse, looks around, and tells his secretary to find him a realtor.
See it first then tell me how much it sucks.
You slay me.