Prime and I are discussing where to go for our first Big Trip together. Her restrictions: it has to be a country new to both of us. My restriction: it has to be safe for Jews. She hasn't specifically said "No Asia," but that might be a bridge too far. My travel-heavy...
As is our wont in the morning while 10b0t and I are preparing food for the day, we get to talking. We have to be rather circumspect, so it generally revolves around culture. I can't remember exactly how we got there (maybe it started with a conversation about the...
We attract some remarkable assholes at our little café/bistro. Today's winner: guy comes to the counter and asks our girl, "Can I get change for a ten?" "Sure, a five and five ones OK?" "Perfect." So as she's handing it to him, she asks, "Are you dining in or...
First one! Back from the hellhole of Baltimore to find that there's a new craze (this year's Hawk Tuah). I know, it's been beat to death, but I can't stop laughing at this latest viral meme. All the drooling morons who haven't gone in hiding in their...
I'm on a mission this weekend- in the Jewish tradition, a ceremony is held in a graveyard about a year after the death of a parent or spouse. In my case, it was my mom, who died last year at the ripe old age of 92 and a life well led. This ceremony, called...
In celebration of International Pronouns Day (I kid you not) If I didn't have a business here, the trolling opportunities would be epic. Sigh. As the rest of the world moves on, the burghers of Glibs Gulch are doubling down on stupidity. Today's fun is, of course, a...
It's Sunday, it's football, it's gonna be brutal for me. I'm starting to understand what it must be like to be a Browns fan. I really do love football, though, grew up watching it and playing it, it was the civic religion of Baltimore in the '50s and '60s. It's more...
Prime is leaving the country for several weeks on a junket to Portugal. "We had this planned before you and I were serious or I would have invited you." Too bad, Despite me living half time in Europe and traveling there almost monthly when I wasn't, Portugal is one of...
What kind of ferkakteh wedding is this, without a chuppah or a wine glass to crush? No, not what you're thinking. Prime's middle son is getting married today so I'll be heading to Buffalo to join in the festivities and will be trying hard not to say anything that will...
OK, so I'm the one on suicide watch- losing is bad enough, but watching every top Ravens player go down injured was just traumatic. Mojeaux dodged a bullet. And I'm sitting in here for Banjos as a sign of life. Speaking of life, birthdays today are numerous and...
How I'm spending my afternoon. After today, either Mojeaux (0-3) or I (1-2) will be on suicide watch. Birthdays today include the king of the fortune cookie; a guy who was just one running joke after another; a guy who did a lot of chemistry that I sure the fuck...
I have much to atone for this Yom Kippur. Most recently for making a really bad noodle stir-fry. And subjecting my neighbors to almost non-stop barking and howling as Rosie and Kaiser trigger each other. And chasing after some deer in my back yard with a rolling pin,...
Yes, I'm feeling a bit horny. New Year's tonight, which will feature Ravens-Lions, and I expect the Ravens will fare better than the Christians. Birthdays today include the prime example of the difference between brilliant and educated; an actor whose versatility...
Fall has descended on the Gulch and environs. Prime and I spent yesterday doing three of our four favorite things- hiking, alcohol, and pizza, this time in the lovely little village of Little Valley, home to an excellent brewery with a wood-fired pizza oven and where...
Yes, I have an appointment with the groomer. The big reveal from last weekend's teaser.At least it feels like there's 101 of them. No, not Dalmatians (as wonderful as they are), but Glibs Gulch hounds. I took one off WebDom and 10b0t's hands, given them being...
For a community that is dominated by scholars (or "scholars," more accurately), I am ceaselessly amazed at how fucking stupid everyone is. And the stupidest among them end up working for us. We don't serve lunch on weekends because our weekend cook is incapable of...
It's been a tough week, juggling clients, café, university, and home issues. The last is getting my house prepared for a new arrival, which has involved much lifting and carrying, about 100,000 trips up and down the stairs, and repeated errands to pick up small items...
Yes, here's when my behavior that puzzles Prime begins. She doesn't actually say it, but she clearly thinks, "How can you waste an entire day watching THREE football games?" One more reminder to me about SP's perfection- she would just be disappointed that there...
I feel good now that the NFL season has started, the summer heat has passed, the leaves are just beginning to color, and the staff at our little café seems to actually have transitioned into something competent. Mostly. I managed to have a fine evening of wine with...
What's the substitute for sugar substitute? It's an interesting philosophical conundrum. My answer is: sugar. So sitting in for SugarFree today is the site's Sugar Daddy, who loves giving out sugar-laden candy to the kids. Apparently September 3 was astrologically...
Between nothingness and eternity lies a chasm of consciousness. At least that's what my fortune cookie told me. In any case, last week was the last game of the NFL preseason and they put a gap in this week before starting up again next week. So this weekend......
This summer came quite late and, with our temperatures now dropping into the 40s, with highs in the 60s, it has also left quite early. So I'm chillin'. I'm sure that this is part of Global Warming Climate Change. On the bright side, it's perfect hiking weather except...
The end of summer in Glibs Gulch (boasting the highest per-capita population of Glibertarians in the US) is marked by the sudden reappearance of thousands of students, parking snafus, frat parties, and the fabulously entitled faculty. This year, it was also marked by...
I spent this past week on travel, visiting one of my clients. Since I was near Cincinnati, there was a further obligation and privilege. As a Muslim, one is expected to make a Hajj to Mecca. And if you can swing it in the same trip, Medina. A religious Jew will make a...
We are closed today- no staff. After experiencing the folks attending the Farmers' Market a block away, our staff refuses to work Sundays. People who are normally entitled and insufferable are joined by sets of people who are beyond parody and are almost universally...