Globalize the Enchilada “Zohran,” the voice said. It was his mother’s voice. It was always his mother’s voice. “What?” he whispered. Rama rolled away from him, muttering something. “Zohran,” his mother’s voice crooned, “the Jew is about the land. You must stop him.”...
Woman Ordered Medicine by Mail, Got a Box of Human Fingers Instead A woman in Hopkinsville, Kentucky, was waiting for a shipment of medicine and medical supplies. When it finally arrived, she ripped the box open and found that it was filled with human arms and fingers...
“Momadoobly,” Donald said. “Ma’am-haad-e,” the hair said carefully. “Mumhobby,” Donald spat out the word, like a cherry pit going for a record distance. “Who fucking cares?” USA hat hollared. “He’s a gotdamn furriner!” “Ignore him,” the hat said, “but he’s right.” “I...
There are no ends, no goodbyes, only time and tide to wash away us all.
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
[This joke has been reported as stolen. It cannot be retweeted, liked, or touched inappropriately]
My vocabularies like licking the gutter.
YOUTUBE!
Oh, please don’t let these shakes go on!
“The luxury edition has so much more eagle. It saddens me to think of you missing out.”
We named our children after towns we had never been to.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring because they were all suffering from profound Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Comin’ from Uranus to trick your style!
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 178.5
(Joemala: Episode 10)
ACID PARTY
“I wash myself with a rag on a stick.”
And, as far as I can tell, she was born female.
Oranges and lemons,
Say the bells of St. Clement’s.
No love’s as random as God’s love.
Your prayers will never be answered again.
Foul language ahead
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 175.5
(Joemala: Episode 9)
Where the stars should have been
Nothing but black holes
Recount
Panic!
Damn you, Chuck Todd