"It looks like..." the hat began. "Don't say it," the hair growled. "That you were having..." "Don't." "A bad hair day." The hair launched himself at the hat, screeching in rage, sweeping him off the desk. They landed in a squirming ball on the floor, howling, biting,...
The key to looking youthful is Swamp Thing semen. Also, it makes you delusional. "Do you know what it is like to hate? When it goes deep down inside?" The press junket for Wicked is just Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo having some sort of weird lesbian...
“We will birth the Übermensch,” Laura whispered, toying with Ian’s deflated penis, the last watery semen drops mingling with her own erotic excretions. “I hope he has your bone structure,” Ian whispered back. “I love how I can see your skull.” “I should post about...
Slip Into Silent Slumber
“Omarosa, my sweet dark berry…” Donald whispered. “She recorded you, Donald,” the hat said in a low Iago hiss. “Maybe she just wanted to hear my voice again,” Donald said. “Recorded, Donald, like with a machine,” the hat said. “She tried to Nixon you, bro.”...
, with special blame falling on mexican sharpshooter
μηδὲν ἄγαν
Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like It’s Nine-Teen-Nine-Ty-Eight!
Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience
The answer to the question “Is this candy paleo?”
Trump's Europe trip: Where he's going on his 7-day visit with NATO allies and Putin “I hate Europe,” Donald moaned as his limo inched its way through a throng of people cheerily ringing the bells on their twee bicycles. “I hate it, I hate the people, I hate the food,...
Trump Interviews 4 Supreme Court Prospects in Rush to Name Replacement “OK, OK,” Donald said, “Let’s get started.” He waved his guests to the seven chairs lined up in front of the Oval Office desk. “Brett, you take that first chair, and then Amy, then Raymond--I'm...
Hillary, The Becoming: Episode 21
Sarah Sanders, Raj Shah planning to depart the White House “Sarah might be leaving!” the hair said, reading off an iPad bolted to the wall. He was perched on the back of the Presidential Shitter, right under the sign that said “Presidential Shitter: Presidents ONLY!”...
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 82
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 81
A Teaching Moment
This is, like, some Double-Oh Seven shit up in here.
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 78.5; Hillary, The Becoming: Episode 20
“We live, as we dream—alone…”
‘Salem’s Lot
#metoo
“They better give me a Nobel Peace Prize,” Donald grumbled. “I’ll kill anyone I have to to get you a Nobel Peace Prize!” John Bolton’s mustache growled. “They gave Krugman a Nobel Prize,” the hat said with a sneer. “Actually, Paul Krugman didn’t get a Nobel Prize, he...
“Honor is Like the Hawk: Sometimes It Must Go Hatted”
A man without a mustache is a man without a soul. -Confucius