Half-dressed, thirsty, asleep, the hair had Donald staggering down a narrow hallway with a machine...

  “What the fuck it that?” the hair asked loudly. “Gunfire,” Hope said as if she had heard the toupee....

  Pulling away from Andrews Air Force Base, Donald pawed at the intercom switch blindly. “What do you...

  “Franken fingered my bill once,” the hat says, almost dreamily, in the darkness of the Mar-a-Lago wig...

  “Do ya think she will like it?” the USA hat asked anxiously. “Uh, yeah. Sure,” the MAGA hat replied,...

  “It was really terrible to go through, but I have to admit that I feel better after detox,” the hat...

(Please note that this is all Brett L's fault.) “Luther! Luther! Pay attention you fuckin’ cracka!” Donald...

  “He’s not going to take me to the UN?!?” the hat screeched. “You’ve got to get me back in the game!”...

  “C’mon, man. Help me out,” the hat croaked. “No, this is for you own good,” the hair said. “OK, OK… No...

“We can’t get rid of Steve!’ the hat wailed. “No, he’s got to go. He’s the leaker. He’s been leaking,” the...