Hey everybody, welcome to the Friday morning links. Sloopy is off selling shit, and probably buying some of it, and Banjos is left to defend herself against three girls. So I’m here again. I’m sure some sports shit happened, but other than Chelski being pre-emptively seized by the British government after a Russian had already turned it over to a British board to own and run, I ain’t got much. I heard that people who sold overpriced tickets to some kids game are trying to come to terms with people who get paid $1000 an at bat to fail 2 times out of 3, but fuck all of them.

Sometimes your little brother embarrasses you in public.

The best take on a person who didn’t know when to stop lying to cops and court officials. True story: in my mid-20s I had an acquaintance who got run over by his girlfriend in front of the jail where he was taking either an alcohol or drug test. He and the gf both started in on how “it was an accident and she didn’t mean to”. The cops did him a favor and took him into a room by himself and laid out exactly how he was going to catch a felony if he didn’t either exercise his right to remain silent or tell the truth. This man was not smart, but still smarter than Jussie Smollett. He at least knew when to cut his losses.

Listen, I don’t want to beat up on New York too badly, but what in the actual fuck?

DeSantis takes on The Mouse? Don’t get too big for your britches there buddy. The Mouse is not someone you fuck with. I hate this culture war tit-for-tat stuff. Rather than publicly name and pressure the very few K-3 teachers who get wrapped up in promoting alt.sexuality to 5-8 year olds, we’re going to pass a state law? Thank goodness the legislature has a limited session. How’s about enforcing the ban on teachers molesting students and getting that to 100% first?

This one’s for my brother, who is in Vegas to see 311 on 3/11. It’s become a tradition to meet his high school buddy who lives in Hawaii wherever the band is and hang out for a couple days.