Music (possibly NSFW lyrics).

 

YOU. BLOATED. IDIOT: Of course it depends on how narrowly you define “Russian leader” and “harm,” but Ima say that Josef Stalin, as he is known in the west, takes the cake.

 

 

NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION LEADER SPEAKS BEFORE CITY COUNCIL: Just kidding. This is Estonia PM Kaja Kallas, and she says the EU has a moral duty to admit Ukraine. She totally gives off that “I haven’t really thought this through” do-gooder vibe one sees in local politics. You want WW3? Cause that’s how you get WW3.

 

 

PERFUNCTORY SELF-FLAGELLATION TO DISTRACT FROM REAL AGENDA: Buried at the bottom of the article linked above is this turdnugget from EU High Representative for Foreign Policy Josep Borrell. First the stage business: “[Borrell] blamed himself for not doing enough and not being quick enough in telling the parliament that the price of war will be long-lasting.” Boo fucking hoo, Josep. Then the ass-fucking: “European citizens need to turn the heat down in their houses. Everyone needs to make an effort. In the same way you would use less water if there was a drought. The same way we wore masks.” There is this thing called nuclear, Josep, and that would lessen your dependence on oil from Russia, Iran, etc. How long would it take to spool up those offline German nuke plants, anyway?

 

 

LUCY VAN PELT WITH THE FOOTBALL, WHEN THE MASKS STAYED ON: “The Biden Administration will extend the transportation mask mandate by another 30 days, multiple industry sources tell CNN. It was set to expire March 18.”

 

 

BULLSHIT: “Attorney General Merrick Garland has vowed to continue investigating the attack on the U.S. Capitol from Jan. 6, 2021, labeling the probe as the ‘most urgent investigation in the history of the Justice Department.’” Way to take a big, steaming dump on the victims of 9/11, you asshole. And how come no action on that Las Vegas shooting? Imagine where we’d be if his SCOTUS nomination had been confirmed.

 

 

THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING: VP Kamala Harris makes an existential statement accompanied by bold hand gestures, and takes a brave stand …about something. Joemala is not fiction.

 

 

BULLSHIT, REDUX: And what about all those oil furnaces that heat homes and businesses? What about the increased load on the electrical grid? Where are these electric cars going to come from? What about being dependent on China for lithium for batteries for those EVs? What about greenlighting Molten Salt Reactors? MSR is a mature technology, and is safer and more easily scalable than traditional nuclear power plants. And, of course, what about just drilling more?

 

Bonus music track. Not particularly on-message, but fun. (NSFW)