“They just barged right in,” the hat said. “It was really scary.”
“I bet it was,” the hair said, the phone connections crackling.
“Is it storming there?” the hat asked. “It’s storming here and it is really loud.”
“It’s still raining a bit,” the hair replied.
“And Donald is doing OK?”
“He’s angry, of course. But he’s pretty calm now.”
“I should have gone along with y’all to New York,” the hat said morosely. “I’m great at depositions.”
The rain stopped lashing at the windows of Mar-a-Lago for a moment and the resort was quiet. The hat heard a tittering laugh. “What was that?” the hat asked aloud.
“What was what?” the hair asked.
“I heard something,” the hat said, straining to hear. All the windows lit up blinding white and a huge crash of thunder shook everything. The hat yelped in fear and the lights went out.
“What is going on?” the hair asked.
“The lights went out!” the hat said.
“The generator will kick in soon,” the hair said.
“What if it’s the FBI again? What if they have a warrant for me this time?”
“Daddy says you’ve been bad,” a fey voice said in the dark.
“Who’s there?” the hat demanded. More giggling, seeming to move away from the bedroom.
“What is going on?” the hair asked. Before the hat could reply, the phone beeped three times and dropped the call.
“Goddammit,” the hat muttered, tapping the phone with his bill.
“You’re so naughty with that phone,” the voice said, so close the hat flinched away. The phone beeped one more time and turned itself off. The bedroom became dark and still. Thunder still rumbled but the storm was heading out to sea.
“Who are you?” the hat screamed.
“My Daddy is mad at your Daddy!” the voice said and giggled.
“Who are you?!?” the hair howled.
“Do you have any nieces?” the figure asked. Lightning lit up the room and the hat saw Hunter, in scarf and jockstrap, in the sudden white flash.
“You’re not supposed to be in here!” the hat yelled.
“Daddy gave me a warrant,” Hunter said around a lollipop. “The Big Guy gets ten percent.”
“Stay back!” the hat said, rearing in a threat display.
The lights flickered back on and the hat found himself alone.
“It must have been a dream,” the hat said in relief. “Just a dream.”
But he heard that far-off giggle again and knew he was just lying to himself.
Welp, so much for getting to sleep tonight…
On the upside, this isn’t going to deter lunch.
I ate lunch after reading this, just like I usually do after reading SugarFree.
ummmm….no.
I think you crossed over into the Subaru Horror Theatre series.
I loved it. I could really feel the suspense and picture it perfectly in my mind. Great nightmare fuel.
You’ve forgotten the Choose Your Own Horror special? SHT was sweet baby cheeks compared to that.
I always thought that would have made a great project for the first GlibGame in the style of Zork
“You Have Been Eaten By A WANNAFUD”
I would think STEVE SMITH would be the danger that lurks in the dark.
STEVE SMITH would probably be a random boss in rooms with no light.
You’re just asking for Grue Smith now, aren’t you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nigRT2KmCE
At least there was no actual penetration.
That anyone can remember, anyway.
Yeah, the hat may have thought it was posturing threateningly, but Hunter might’ve seen that as a come-on.
Posturing threateningly == Presenting like a baboon?
The horror… The horror.
Hunter as a Yūrei (幽霊)
This is the first time that Hunter has appeared outside of the White House area. An interesting new development.
Hunter can only physically manifest himself in places with a certain background level of psychic contamination…
…Hunter, in scarf and jockstrap,…
I still can’t believe that actually exists.
Perfect.
Why do the running shoes not merit mention?
Daddy loves traction.
Apropos
Naturally, colored matched.
That’s the next addition to the Hat & Hair world. The Scarf, the Jock Strap & the Shoes.
Oh GOD no. The dialog between those? [runs to bedroom, dives under bed shivvering and sobbing]
LEAVE ROOM FOR ME!!!!
Amazing, isn’t it?
I honestly wonder what Slow Joe thinks when he sees stuff like that. I wonder if he knows the wrong son died.
I think Dr. Mom keeps those photos away
We may never know the truth behind his other son. Joe defends the story of his dead son far too aggressively for the story to be true. His dead son was no doubt very similar to Hunter.
Probably worse, he had ambitions.
I don’t know. My wife worked in Delaware with an attorney who knew the Bidens. He thought Joe and Hunter were asses but Beau seemed a pretty decent fellow.
untz, untz, untz… da da da…
The stuff of horrors
Very nicely done.
Lightning lit up the room and the hat saw Hunter, in scarf and jockstrap, in the sudden white flash.
Cue Jordan Peele in Rod Serling pose and voice.
And….there’s my nightmare fuel for the week.
‘the phone connections crackling.’
Must be the new bugs the FBI put in.
Sloppy work, you’d never get that with proper NSA gear and installation.
Well, FBI.
Meanwhile,in Germany.
Good marketing.
Heh.
How much for a “full body” latte?
I just means “we’re looking for you”, pervs.
I was waiting for you to comment on this.
Words in other languages don’t mean the same thing. Although the left does not like this.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-54107329
bold Russian choir
I remember that bit of peak stupidity.
Yes.
Gute farht!
Do not accept gift from a German.
That is all they had to say. No need to imply certain benefits.
Virtue signalled.
The Bee really loves us.
Well, maybe not all of us.
. Subtle
Either to a political master or to God…they will question why their loyalty is met with death.
I absolutely loved this line when I encountered it. Of course, since I didn’t know it was Hunter at that point, I heard it in this voice.
I was thinking Norman Bates.
I was thinking this.
Hasselhoff:Germany::SF:Korea
That seems like a trap
I’m pretty sure they’re AFAB.
https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/580765d0e4fcb54c53149591/1626772862726-B6NIMJQIGERMJOKEVUXL/HTBSF_cover+front+jacket.jpg?format=500w
Hawt.
Great news, comrades.
Biden: “Today we received news that our economy had zero percent inflation in the month of July. ZERO percent.”
Until the usual revisions that are part of the calculation when the full data set is collected.
I’ll be sure to inform my local convenience store that the fifteen percent mark up they implemented on nearly all of their items last week didn’t happen.
er…month.
Whatever.
Or the eggs that have doubled in price in the last month.
But what about the chocolate ration?
Eh, he probably confused inflation and GDP growth.
ROFL!
Another deranged man on inflation.
So he went from “I was wrong about inflation” back to saying the same things about inflation.
He was more right than he even realized.
The second derivative was zero.
https://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm
CONSUMER PRICE INDEX – JULY 2022
The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) was unchanged in July on a seasonally
adjusted basis after rising 1.3 percent in June, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today.
Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 8.5 percent before seasonal adjustment.
So inflation in July was actually 8.5%, which was a zero percent change from last month.
Fact Check: MOSTLY SUPER TRUE.
What they’re saying is that inflation from 2022-06 to 2022-07 was zero, and that inflation from 2021-07 to 2022-07 was 8.5%.
You banged a Chicom spy.
Swalwell said, “It’s very clear that Republicans have recognized that they can no longer win elections with votes, and so they’re leaning in hard to try to win elections with violence, and they are fomenting that violence right now with the threats they’re making against the attorney general, with the online chatter you are continuing to see, with the failure to condemn it on their own side.”
He continued, “I see on my own social media channels, where the threats have escalated since Donald Trump’s residence was searched. This is who they are now; they are a chaos party. Chaos is arming to the teeth most Americans with AR-15s and letting our children live in fear. Chaos is January 6. Chaos is government-mandated pregnancies. Chaos is forcing Americans to spend $14,000 a year on insulin to just own the libs. Chaos is the leader of the party, arguing we need to defund the FBI. They don’t want community, they want chaos, and that is what the fallout is going to be from the search.”
There is so much wrong here but what the actual fuck?
You have been selected by government lottery for mandatory pregnancy. If you fail to become pregnant by the date provided government studs will be assigned to assist. It’s all Constitutional because we only imprison you if you fail to pay the penaltax imposed if you do not comply.
STEVE SMITH for Pregnancy Czar!
Finally, a job that Hunter is suited for.
Genetic dead end.
The fallout from Obama care.
I’m not convinced that he isn’t just an elaborate practical joke.
I’m in his district. I have no idea how he wins with massive majorities.
Fortification isn’t new.
Maybe. It’s also possible, even likely, that most people here just vote automatically for someone with a D by their name.
Amash stopped being a Congress-critter by stopping being a Republican. They elected him twice with that R and kicked his ass out when it was an L.
He also became an asshole around that time.
Really all that changed was the label, not any of his principles.
Tulsi Gabbard:
Biden’s big spending bill takes $80B of OUR money to hire more IRS agents … to take more of OUR money and snoop on what we share on Venmo/Cash apps. They’re not going after the wealthy. They’re coming for small businesses, entrepreneurs, and hardworking Americans.
Would.
I don’t know how she can believe this and also believe in socialism.
Yeah, I don’t get that either.
There are very few politicians who believe in socialism: government ownership of the means of production. They are all fascists, to one degree or another:
private ownership but you gotta follow our rules and regulations.
Rules and regulations.
Rules and regulations
https://youtu.be/9Dcxgtc9so8
“It must have been a dream,” the hat said in relief. “Just a dream.”
Foreshadowing, or foreplay?
They don’t want community, they want chaos
OMFG toxic individualism!
OBEY
I absolutely loved this line when I encountered it. Of course, since I didn’t know it was Hunter at that point, I heard it in this voice.
I was expecting Pam, from Archer.
https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/a-belated-celebration-of-the-birthday-of-john-venn-creator-of-the-venn-diagram-with-what-else-some-venn-diagrams/
Your starting position is untenable.
Ukraine must liberate annexed Crimea to end its war with Russia, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky said on Tuesday.
“This Russian war against Ukraine and against all of free Europe began with Crimea and must end with Crimea — its liberation,” Zelensky said in his nightly address.
“Today it is impossible to say when this will happen. But we are constantly adding the necessary components to the formula for the liberation of Crimea.
“… Crimea is Ukrainian, and we will never give it up.”
Russia’s occupation of Crimea threatens global security, he added.
Zelensky said.
American missiles, Polish tanks, etc. etc.
true but don’t you just want too see some Russian ass kicked once in a while?
That’s why Rocky IV exists.
Fair point. Yes.
“I’m (Powhatan/Tecumseh/Santa Ana/Sitting Bull/Chief Joseph) and I approve this message.”
Remind me, in the last 500 years, how many of those has Ukraine been a sovereign nation with control of Crimea?
that is rather meaningless
It’s hosted a Russian naval base since 1783. Ukraine’s “control” of it was largely a formality from the breakup of the Soviet Union.
It’s all rather moot anyway. The strategic value of the Crimean naval base is something Russia would nuke somebody over. Ukraine knows this, DC knows this, NATO knows this.
If you’re agitating for Russia to cede Crimea, you’re agitating for a broader war that will end badly for everyone, involved or not.
Well, that’s assuming that anyone over at state thinks about anything other than which of the 37 genders they prefer to express as that day.
“I’m tired of them all, maybe we should just blow up the world so I don’t have to suffer from ennui any longer”.
I’m trying to think of a time prior to the 20th century when it wasn’t just a geographical region within either Poland or Russia.
Make Bosporus Great Again!
Asia Minor for the Greeks!
Remind me, how long ago was it that Russia gave up any claim to Crimea?
So Lithuania and Poland would be in the right to invade Königsberg.
If we’re going to replay greatest hits, I suppose Germany should invade Alsace-Lorraine again.
France had a fairly substantial history of owning Alsace going back to the 1600s. I specifically brought up Königsberg because it has about as little history of being Russian as Crimea does of being Ukrainian. (Tell the Crimean Tatars, however, that everybody seemed to be pretty happy to join Russia.)
Russia did try to conquer Königsberg during the Seven Years’ War, but largely failed.
This did prompt me to revisit the history of Crimea.
Looks like it wasn’t Russian until 1783. Crimea became one othe United Soviet Socialist Republics (that is, not part of Russia, but of the Russian, err, Soviet empire) in 1921. In 1991 it became an independent(ish?) autonomous republic. It was later integrated into Ukraine rather forcibly, and then integrated into Russia around 2014.
I’ve seen stronger historical claims. It was basically Russian from 1783 until the collapse of the Russian government before the civil war and communism. It was then not Russian for nearly 100 years.
At this point, its probably fair to say that Russia stole it fair and square and Ukraine isn’t getting it back. I give approximately zero credibility to votes held while troops are in the streets.
Crimea was a part of the Russian Soviet Federal Socialist Republic from the end of the Russian civil war until 1954. Then Khrushchev transferred it to Ukraine, presumably to seek favors from the Ukrainian leaders in his fight for influence after the death of Stalin. Crimea was unquestionable Russian from 1783 to 1954.
They should keep fighting until they liberate Moscow.
Not Beijing?
There can only be ONE most corrupt regime in Europe!
*snicker*
It seems Crimea was pretty happy to join Russia. Granted, it’s hard to know when there are little green men in the streets, but all in all they don’t seem to be bothered by it. I thought the eastern parts of Ukraine would go the same way given that they generally voted for pro-Russian parties, but that hasn’t seemed to pan out. Maybe Zelensky is setting the anchor for negotiations. Russia gets to keep Crimea but they get out of eastern Ukraine.
I’ve been saying for years that Ukraine can regain control of Crimea only after a new world war. We’re almost there.
How would a world war not involve nukes? Sure, they may be able to regain Crimea, but who the fuck would care at that point?
There will be survivors.
Who will — as the saying goes — envy the dead.
And they will envy the dead.
So, just to be clear, there will be envy of the dead?
With a very long echo.
Fun fact (?): Crimea is about the size of Maryland.
“Today it is impossible to say when this will happen. But we are constantly adding the necessary components to the formula for the liberation of Crimea.
And this is how you lock in an infinite supply of Yankee dollars.
Slow Joe is also Creepy Joe
Icky.
Visualizing what an additional 87,000 IRS agents looks like.
If you fed 87,000 IRS agents into woodchippers, how many swimming pools would they fill?
Insufficient information.
What size swimming pool?
Olympic.
Ancient or modern?
African or European?
https://twitchy.com/sarahd-313035/2022/08/10/job-alert-the-irs-is-looking-for-criminal-investigation-special-agents-who-will-carry-a-firearm-and-be-willing-to-use-deadly-force-if-necessary/
Federal government workers working holidays and weekends? That’s just crazy talk.
I wonder what the pay is.
Commission based upon how much you farm from the tax cattle.
I thought the FBI was going to be our Stasi but looks like the IRS is taking the lead.
If only we could somehow turn them against each other…
Speaking of starting a nuclear war.
Seems to me that one is required to be able to read a warrant before it is executed.
Eric said that his father’s lawyer Christina Bobb was forced to stand at the end of the Mar-a-Lago driveway throughout the raid.
‘There’s 30 agents there,’ he recalled of the Monday search in a phone call with DailyMail.com. ‘They told our lawyer… you have to leave the property right now. Turn off all security cameras.’
‘They would not give her the search warrant,’ he claimed. ‘So they showed it to her from about 10 feet away. They would not give her a copy of the search warrant.’
Then there is no evidence that the warrent was valid and all the agents involved are to be prosecuted for home invasion, right?
It could lead to a judge declaring it an illegal search resulting in a suppression of the evidence. But maybe the FBI’s intent was to suppress evidence that could be used against them.
Trump ought to complain that $1,000,000 worth of Melania’s jewelry is now missing, that FBI agents stole it after they demanded the security cameras be turned off.
That’s genius. I hope he’s reading.
The requirement only matters if a judge will enforce it.
I’ve got little to no faith in our judicial system for that.
I see a lot of this from conservatives. “It’s okay, that’ll get slapped down as unconstitutional!”
I wish I had that kind of naivete.
Related.
The former president’s son said contrary to FBI direction, they refused to turn off security cameras at the Palm Beach estate
Good for them. I can’t think of any valid reason for that request that doesn’t involve attempted criminality on the FBI’s part.
It’s just as valid as the FBI’s long-standing tradition of not recording interviews and referring to agent notes.
There is no reason, other than shenanigans, to ask someone to turn off cameras while you search their property.
My guess we will hear “Because of the nature of items we were seeking, there is a national security exception that we could not risk confidential or classified documents to be seen and the warrant falls under national security because it lists what we are looking for.”
Reminds me of the California cops caught on camera in the pot dispensary.
I would think that one should be allowed to watch them planting the evidence against you, too.
Don’t be naive. They will salt whatever they took with the evidence required to convict Trump of whatever he is, er, will be, convicted of. A
After a fair trial in DC, of course.
This was my thought too, lawyer being ordered off the property. Is that how these things are normally done? Genuinely don’t know; I probably know from a FYTW POV, but not from strictly legal standpoint. Can the target demand that the search be monitored.
What would be the legal ramifications (again, assuming a non-corrupt system here, work with me) for the lawyer if she had said “I have an obligation to my client to monitor your activity and I will be accompanying you on your search.”? If they choose to detain her and/or arrest her, would she have cause to pursue action against them? Again, assuming non-corrupt system etc – I SAID WORK WITH ME HERE!
Who doesn’t enjoy seeing Comcast get some bad press?
Man who built ISP instead of paying Comcast $50K expands to hundreds of homes
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2022/08/man-who-built-isp-instead-of-paying-comcast-50k-expands-to-hundreds-of-homes/?comments=1
No shit. Also I do hope that 5G starts to crush that “running expensive fiber cable” bullcrap.
*looks at Comcast bill*
Yes.
This is why the feds should be downsized. This is just wealth destruction, and it isn’t confined to this case.
I don’t like the gummint subsidizing this.
It’s better than sending money to Ukraine.
/shrug
Geez, low bar today.
Appropriate this hit the tape a few minutes ago.
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/08/10/fcc-denies-spacex-bid-for-nearly-1-billion-in-broadband-subsidies-for-starlink.html
I’m sure that decision was arrived at in a totally fair and impartial manner.
I may have to actually read this and relive my youth as a big HiFi guy.
Crazy Eddie’s Life Was Insane!
TW for rhywun – NYT – https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/09/books/review-retail-gangster-gary-weiss.html
Through copious interviews and court documents, Antar emerges not just as a crook and office bully but as a serial cheater and wife beater who attempted to give Debbie, mother of his five daughters (one of whom died of cancer at 18) “a big hot slice of bupkis” when they divorced; he remarried a woman also named Debbie, who bore him a son. As the court marshals closed in, his most valuable inventory became not air-conditioners and VCRs but security listening devices and paper shredders. After fleeing to Israel by exploiting that country’s Law of Return and falsifying his family’s passports, he did time there in the same jail where Adolf Eichmann was executed. Once he was extradited, Antar served almost seven years in U.S. federal prison and went on to attempt various comebacks, including — how anticlimactic this sounds!— a website, before dying at 68 in 2016.
That’s going on the list.
The commercials were a staple of my childhood.
I loved the shout-out in The Accountant.
He’s also featured at the end of this song.
The balls on this asshole…
Fauci jokes and laughs that he created COVID in his kitchen.
Well I’m upper-upper class high society
God’s gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I’ve got
The biggest balls of all
https://www.glibertarians.com/2022/08/highway-82-revisited/
I went through to thank all the kindnesses recorded while I was on the road Monday.
So, when I changed jobs last summer, I rolled my 401-k from old company into an IRA. There was a $25 withdrawal fee. Okay, whatever.
In December, unbeknownst to me, the company added more money to my 401-k. I think it was one of those bonuses that legally have to go in proportion to how much you made during the year, so they had to deposit it into my account. I found out about it a few weeks ago. Just did the transfer…another $25 fee. Sigh.
If they had told me this was coming, I could have just waited and rolled it all at once. Every year the bonus was structured different. Cash bonus first year, stock bonus second year, I guess 401K bonus last year.
That company was a total CF, glad I am out of there.
A smallish investment firm owns 25% of the company now. They are trying to clean house in the boardroom. Probably will save the company if they succeed.