That slut Tonio just gives it away. A man of his talents could monetize it, but the raggedy old homo keeps hanging on to his delusions that he can suck his way into some younger bear’s heart. So, while our Nimrod is creakily ascending the ziggurat of his Sargon-bearded stud of the moment, I get to babysit you people. Here is the draft we found in Tonio’s typewriter; I see no need to waste time fleshing it out:

 

Glibs Anniversary Post Template

Brief recounting of the history of Glibs, with a self-serving linkback to my noob guide.

Fluff all the commenters and lurkers. “Without your support and donations,” yadda, yadda, yadda.

Thank all the contributing writers, even the lame ones.

Praise all the regular columnists, heavy lifters, etc. [sticky note: Not Adahn, RJ, Richard, Chafed, Pat.]

Obsequiously praise Sug, Pengie, CPRM, Animal, Mojeaux, and any other established, pro-grade, contributors.

Single out any irregular contributors who hit it out of the park, ie Sloper. [handwritten annotation: FourScore.]

Suck up to the cryptids.

Thank Neph for GlibZoom.

[handwritten annotation: Tease about fresh, bold content coming later this year.]

Tear-jerking memorial to SP.

Thank WebDom for taking on the high-level website administrative stuff.

Squirrel joke to lighten the mood.

Thumb our nose at TOS since we’re still here six years later with a full, regular publishing calendar, etc.

Taunt the NSA, etc.

Fuck you, Preet.

[sticky note: CPRM wants his 2022 Anniversary cartoon backlinked]