BREAKING – TRUMP TO SURRENDER AT 7:30 PM ET TONIGHT: Via Bloomberg (link to archive, since paywalled).

HAWAII GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS WIN COVETED WOODCHIPPER AWARD, YET AGAIN: Blocked only paved road out of town during Lahaina wildfires. Will any of these people ever be subject to personal liability in this?

LEGACY MEDIA SHITBAGGERY WATCH: “After having basked in conspiracy theories about the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol, some supporters of former President Donald Trump are worried that a rally Trump is promoting outside the Fulton County Jail in Georgia ahead of his expected surrender in the state election interference case is an FBI setup.”  –NBC News, Aug. 23, 2023, 8:09 PM EDT

ALBANIANS FRUSTRATED THAT ITALIANS COMING TO ALBANIA, SPENDING MONEY (MOSTLY), THEN GOING HOME: The two incidents they describe for a summer of tourism for an entire country are shocking, to be sure, but nothing compared to what goes on at a US beach town in a single busy weekend.

NJ BAGEL SHOP FINED FOR IMPROPER USE OF WINDOW TREATMENTS: Today’s regulatory overreach nutpunch.

TRUST US, WE’RE SCIENTISTS. NO, YOU CAN’T SEE OUR RAW DATA: “[M]any scientists have grown unwilling to cooperate and help their peers by sharing their work. They would “hide” their raw data, despite having taken years-long efforts to collect. They would also conceal experiments that have failed or proved insignificant. All these practices would then result in different teams wasting precious time in running the same useless studies, rather than making further progress and contributing to the world’s knowledge.”

AT LEAST THEY’RE NOT ITALIAN TOURISTS: German raccoons learn how to steal beer. Is it just me, or have lots of animals started going goblin mode on us recently?

HEY, GUYS, WE’RE UP THERE TOO: PRC scientists publish paper on lunar geology with ground-penetrating radar data acquired by China’s Yutu 2 rover which has been trucking around the Von Kármán Crater on the Moon’s farside since early 2019.

AND YOU CAN ONLY GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT: SC jail escapee found hiding in dryer. That must have been a tiny and very limber inmate.