The party sounded terrible, but I let Mike talk me into it over the phone. I imagined his face: square jaw, square head, and huge square glasses. I hadn't talked to Mike since high school and we didn't part on the best of terms. He probably heard about Jennifer and...
So how is SugarFree's life going right now? The pic sums it up pretty well. Who is Aaron Rose Philip, the first African-American transgender model with cerebral palsy to attend the 2026 Met Gala? Aaron Rose Philip made history at the 2026 Met Gala, becoming the first...
“I love being hated,” the hat said. “The retarded parts of the country hate me. They should. I’d kill them all if I could.” “They hate Donald too,” the hair said sleepily. “It’s good to be hated by bad people,” the hat said. “I want to bathe in their agony and...
Dream a little dream…
Want?
“My Presidential Library is going to be so classy,” Donald said, “just the classist." “But it’s in Florida,” the hair said. “Florida loves Donald,” the hat said. “Where else should he have it?” “Uh, New York City? His hometown.” “Nah, fuck that shithole. They can rot...
There is something almost comforting that Mandy has always been and still is an offensive idiot. Like the changing of the seasons: you might not know when winter comes, but you know it will. When will Mandy reveal herself to be a deluded asshole again? Soon. She is...
“I know they broke the escalators on purpose,” the hat spat. “The building is a dump, a dump,” Donald said. “I could have made it beautiful, just so classy.” “Those waterheads were lucky you even bothered to talk to them,” the hat said. “Can you guys keep it down?”...
The Dream Is Never Over
Tick Tock
So, I do enjoy writing my Wednesday noon satire shorts, but damn it is difficult when shit likes this is the reality: Straight from Kamala's book. I mean, how can I, a simple monger of filth, compete with this? Also, you daffy dumb bitch, you should have stayed in...
Epstein didn’t mole himself.
Books by women: And the kicker: By the way: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/123852869-morning-glory-milking-farmViolet is a typical, down-on-her-luck millennial: mid-twenties, over-educated and drowning in debt, on the verge of moving into her parent’s basement....
“Now no one can ever burn an American flag again!” Donald said as he signed the Executive Order with a flourish. “Womp womp,” the hat said. “It will never stand up in court,” the hair said. “Not the point,” the hat said, “It’s to get commie fuckos to start burning the...
Does the perfect metaphor exist? Obama Center subcontractor files $40M discrimination lawsuit against engineering firm for overruns A Chicago-based subcontractor is suing one of the firms involved in managing the construction of the Obama Presidential...
“Bear witness!” the hat said grandly as Donald opened the vault. “Yay, a bunch of hats,’ the hair said with all the enthusiasm of roadkill. “Be ye not afraid!” the hat said to the assembled world leaders. They all ignored him. “BE YE NOT AFRAID!” the hat said....
Wherein Donald Trump forces THE RESISTANCE to pretend there is no crime in D.C.I Walked Through Trump’s D.C. Hellscape. It’s Now Clear What Exactly the Feds Are Doing Here. Bewildered by the sudden influx of armed and armored agents swarming my hometown, on Tuesday...
Scripted.
A stunning blizzard of non sequiturs, lies, excuses and equivocations. Never change, New Republic.DOGE’s “Big Balls” Was Beaten Up—and Musk Is Already Lying About It The billionaire claimed that Coristine heroically stopped “a gang of about a dozen young men” from...
“BIG BALLS!” Elon sang, Elon sprang. “BIG BALLS!” Donald cried, waving the African-American into The Oval Office. “Who let him back in?” the hair asked, hat-grumpy. “You can’t buy this sort of PR,” the hat said, hair-blithe. “I’m really proud of Eddie,” Elon said....
The hat and the hair’s phone beeped. A text message. and I’m here The hat groaned. The hair groaned as well. He slithered off his mannequin head perch. “It’s too early for this shit.” Beep. to remind you “Godammit,” the hat muttered. “He’s not going to stop,” the hair...
The shit-fit over The Colbert Show being cancelled pleases SugarFree. The audience for his whiny bullshit anti-humor is literally dying off. He was losing CBS $40,000,000 a year. The real issue is why wasn't he cancelled before now. The conspiracy theory I'm going...
“I love you so much,” Cracky whispered to Hunter, bright eyes piercing, begging to be smoked. “I love you too, Cracky,” Hunter whispered back. He was in his filthy room in his father’s Delaware mansion, in soiled underwear, half-eaten bowls of ramen rotting...
Very close to the perfect Hit&Run thread. It is the thread that convinced me to join it. When you've never read it, note that Viking Moose keep posting on it for years, so only the posts label as "19 years go" are original to the thread.Your Tears Are So Yummy and...
“Does the Epstein List even exist?” the hair asked. “I’m not sure anyone knows,” the hat said. “I said I would release it," Donald said. “Pammy has betrayed me.” “How much sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a disloyal henchman,” the hat misquoted....