“Betrayed,” Donald said darkly. “Everyone is against me. The n-n-nerve of these people.” “You offered them paradise and they spat in your face,” the hat said. “He’s stuttering,” the hair said, worry in his voice. “He stammers but never really stutters.” “He’s fine...
If you haven't been falling the struggle session / hugbox cope of BioWare closing, it's been pretty funny. I wonder what our old friends at Kotaku think...It Didn’t Have To End This Way After years of strife and sabotage, BioWare is gone, and video games are lesser...
“You have to understand that we can’t help you.” The sheriff loomed over me, trying to intimidate. “And, more importantly, we don’t want to help you.” “All I want to know is who killed my uncle,” I said evenly. I buried him that morning and they picked me up as I left...
Mitch moaned and advanced on Elaine as she brandished a cattleprod. “We have to get you to the Senate!” she said loudly. They had to swaddle him just that morning to sew an ear back on, the sheets they used were piled on the floor, soaked with unspeakable fluids....
COPE, The Musical Who Could Replace Graham Platner? Democrats’ brief experiment in letting their hair down and nominating a Senate candidate who makes them feel edgy has all but concluded. After a well-corroborated Politico story in which an ex claimed that Graham...
"Whoa, there, tough guy... Are you planning to rape me with your shuckin' dick?" "It’s hard to not be smug,” Lump purred. “I wanted Platner as my plaything in the Senate, but this will do nicely.” “I can excuse the Nazi tattoo, and the stalking, and the jacking off in...
“President Biden,” Hunter said dreamily. He was in his favorite tattered robe and he had been masturbating to pictures of his hottest cousin until Cracky made him as soft as steamed celery. “I could be the first President Biden.” “And we’ll fix that darn Reflecting...
“Juden raus!” Graham’s tattoo growled. “Would you just chill out?” Graham whispered. “Maine will be cleansed,” the tattoo replied. Graham walked out on the union-assembled stage, loose bolts and writhing electrical cables. “Everyone… the next Senator of Maine!” the...
Think of it as Evolution in action.
The party sounded terrible, but I let Mike talk me into it over the phone. I imagined his face: square jaw, square head, and huge square glasses. I hadn't talked to Mike since high school and we didn't part on the best of terms. He probably heard about Jennifer and...
So how is SugarFree's life going right now? The pic sums it up pretty well. Who is Aaron Rose Philip, the first African-American transgender model with cerebral palsy to attend the 2026 Met Gala? Aaron Rose Philip made history at the 2026 Met Gala, becoming the first...
“I love being hated,” the hat said. “The retarded parts of the country hate me. They should. I’d kill them all if I could.” “They hate Donald too,” the hair said sleepily. “It’s good to be hated by bad people,” the hat said. “I want to bathe in their agony and...
“They tried to kill me!” the hat screamed in the Presidential Beast as he and Donald and the hair drove back to the White House. “He tried to kill all three of us,” the hair said. His voice was shaky and tired. “Butler, the golf course, and now this shit!” “It took a...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n7eNFj_9Vk "Grill me, broil me, sear me on a griddle. I have such sights to show you! MEAT SIGHTS!" "I don't care that it's black as long as it looks classy. It looks classy, right? I'm going to fuck Dick Cheney with it." My Dad Used...
“I really thought the Iran War would be more fun,” the hat said. Donald grumbled as he pissed in the ficus behind the Resolute desk. “How is that thing even still alive?” the hair asked the hat. “Iran? I dunno.” “The ficus, stupid,” the hair said. “I’m not stupid,...
DeCarlos Brown Jr. found incompetent to proceed in Charlotte light rail killing "I got that White girl." Thing that everyone should have known was going to happen happened. He'll be "cured" and released in under 10 years. (The federal case will go absolutely nowhere.)...
“Pussy,” the hat said. “You goddamn coward.” Donald had his head down on his desk and Barron was holding a cold compress to the back of the neck. “You’ll never be the King of Persia now,” a defeated Donald told his giant son. “I wish I had never become your hat,” the...
Taking the plunge – and marrying a river There’s something afoot in the woods today. Bubble-headed humanoid figures bump clumsily through the trees, making their way down to the water’s edge accompanied by flute and drum. Here comes Frog, with bulgy red eyes, followed...
“I got them jugs!” Bryon yelled as he chased Kristi through the house, his enormous breasts swaying queasily. “Fuck off, Byron!’ Kristi yelled, picking up a sugar bowl and throwing it at his head. She missed and it bounced off of his watermelon breasts. “Look at...
Top US Fema official claims to have teleported to a Waffle House before A far-right conspiracy theorist turned high-ranking official at the US Federal Emergency Management Agency (Fema) claims to have once teleported to a Waffle House. Gregg Phillips, who in December...
He’s back, it’s whack!
Lynnwood’s Olympus Spa heading to US Supreme Court after Ninth Circuit denies rehearing of case Olympus Spa attorney Tracy Tribbett Pacific Justice Institute, in a statement to the Lynnwood shared her client’s intent to file a petition to the U.S. Supreme Court that...
“You send me ova there and ah’ll take care of him for ya,” Lindsey drawled. The Oval Office was warm, uncomfortably close, and the man’s lilac scent was a cloying miasma. Donald nodded, resting his head on his hands, squinting at the Senator. He had no idea of what...
Dreamin’
“WAR!’ the hat yelled. “We gonna bomb those fuckers good!” “Do you have to be so bloodthirsty?" the hair asked. “Oh, here he goes. Mr. Peace. Mr. Don’t-Want-No-Trouble-Mister.” “Yeah, yeah.” “Bok-bok-bok,” the hat chickened. “I just don’t think we have any business in...