“Why did you let me get so drunk on that stuff?” the hair asked, miserable, perched on Donald’s shoulder like...

““Fuck you,” the hair grumbled, lop-sided on Donald’s head. “What the hell did I do?” the hat asked. The hair...

“But what is it, Father?” Barron asked as he circled the enormous model that dominated The Oval Office....

"It looks like..." the hat began. "Don't say it," the hair growled. "That you were having..." "Don't." "A bad...

“It’s not my fault she looks like a pig!” Donald yelled. Karoline rubbed at her face and sighed. “She looks...

“Momadoobly,” Donald said. “Ma’am-haad-e,” the hair said carefully. “Mumhobby,” Donald spat out the word,...

“I have brought peace to the Middle East,” Donald said. “I have healed a rift and led Jews and Palestinians...

“Candace said that Charlie came to her in a dream,” the hat said. “When did you talk to her?” the hair asked....

“My Presidential Library is going to be so classy,” Donald said, “just the classist." “But it’s in Florida,”...

“I know they broke the escalators on purpose,” the hat spat. “The building is a dump, a dump,” Donald said....