A few weeks ago on a particularly drunken Zoom, we got to talking about group cruises. Our friend Shpip has some experience in this area, and we have been working behind the scenes to come up with a modest proposal: a Glibcruise Glibcation.

Shpip has been doing a ton of legwork on this project and has come up with something that is hopefully appealing to a bunch of us. More from him on that in a bit.

I’m here to tell you why you should join in.

As you know, I went on my first cruise last year. I want to iterate how skeptical I was of my ability to enjoy such a vacation. I hate people, I hate humidity, I hate heat, and I hate the ocean. WTF. I had no business going on a cruise – to the Caribbean!

At any rate, I had the most wonderful time. I woke up every day without a care or worry. I ate whatever and whenever I wanted. I pickled myself with alcohol (as one does when one buys a drink package). I met some very cool folks (for example, a Brit AvGeek who was on the deck taking pics of planes landing at St Kitts, just as I was). I didn’t even mind being on the ocean, as I was gently rocked to sleep every night like a baby. It was the most worry-free I’ve been in years.

If you’re the type of person who can lounge all day, doing nothing, a cruise may be just what the doctor ordered. If you like getting out-and-about and seeing and doing things, a cruise is great for that, too.

Hate people? Cruise ships generally have a selection of quiet corners to get away. Love people? Well, obviously you’re on a ship with 2000+ other folks.

For this venture, we need to reach a critical mass of people to get our group discount, so please consider vacationing with us.

Bitchy Karen Note: if you don’t want to go on a cruise, it’s not mandatory. If you would rather do something else, go forth and organize it yourself. We (mostly Shpip) have put quite a bit of time in researching and choosing a cruise that hopefully has mass Glib-Appeal. We took into consideration the departure port, the ports of call, the length of the trip, and the cruise line. Other ideas are welcome, but you’ll be the one on the hook for all the logistics and cat-wrangling, and Shpip and I will bow out gracefully.

That being said, let’s see the details of the cruise Shpip has come up with…


After a bit of research and discussion, we’re offering our inaugural GlibsCruise on Celebrity Cruise Lines, round trip from Fort Lauderdale, departing on October 21, 2024.

We chose Celebrity because it’s a fairly upscale cruise line – there are a few luxury lines out there, but they have a price to match, and we’re trying to keep this affordable for the Glib demographic. On the other hand, it’s not one of those bargain-basement lines where you’re likely to be annoyed by college kids getting loud on four Michelob Ultras.

We chose this particular itinerary because:

  • It’s a seven-day cruise, typical for the industry and not too expensive,
  • The Fort Lauderdale cruise port is very near the airport, making connections a cinch for those who would be flying in, and
  • The cruise touches at St. Maarten, which was KK’s only request, and home to one of the
    more bonkers* things you can do on a Caribbean vacation.

We also chose October because it’s after hurricane season (for the most part), and school-age children will, for the most part, be in school and not running around a cruise ship. This part of the year is also “shoulder season” for cruising the Caribbean, which is keeping the costs down (the same cruise in January would run you at least $600 more).

While I’m a veteran of several cruises, I’m not a travel industry pro. Fortunately for us, the cheerleader who was nice to me in high school Latin class is, and I’ve handed the nuts-and-bolts of the trip to her.

Her name is Suzanne Klasen, and she’s the consummate professional in her field, not some housewife who acts as a travel agent part time for pin money. She’s reserved a block of cabins that’s far larger than I expect we’ll need, in order to offer an array of choices to you.

Standard-issue would be a balcony cabin, which fits two. We’re hoping that at least some of you malcontents will drag your spouses along for some fun in the sun. Others who will travel solo can be matched with fellow Glibs to keep costs down, and those curmudgeons who want a cabin to themselves can cut costs by selecting an interior.

Suzanne’s dedicated GlibsCruise website is here.

A couple of anticipated questions:

Do we have to do everything as a group?
Hell, no. It’s a big ship, you can spend time doing whatever you like on board. We might have a few Glib-centric activities onboard, like a wine tasting. Every passenger is allowed to bring two bottles of wine onboard for personal consumption, and if the group is large enough, Celebrity will be happy to provide one of their restaurants during off hours to host a get-together. A group excursion (say, a walking tour of Old San Juan) might be on offer, too.

Is the cruise all-inclusive?
Suzanne has put together a bundled “perks package” that includes the premium drinks deal, enhanced internet, and pre-paid gratuities. You’ll also get an onboard credit to spend as you like – spa treatment, specialty restaurant, shopping in the boutiques, whatever.

What if I don’t drink?
Yes, we know there are a few of you out there. Suzanne will drop the drinks package and let you do a la carte (didn’t I tell you she was a pro?). Of course, if you like specialty coffees, bottled waters, mocktails, or the like, you may want to leave the drinks package in place, since it covers all of those, not just beer, wine, and highballs.

How about travel to the port and back?
Fort Lauderdale is an easy airport to get to if you’re coming from a distance where driving is impractical. The airport is very close to the cruise port, maybe a $10-15 Uber or taxi ride. I would strongly suggest, though, that you arrive the day before. Once I have firmer numbers of how many are participating, I’ll set up a block of rooms at a nearby hotel that has weeklong parking for those who are driving to Ft. Liquordale, and also has a shuttle for embarking passengers. Don’t let a delayed flight or a mechanical issue with your car cause you to miss the
boat.

Put your orphans on double shifts and start saving your pennies, Glibs. This is going to be a great time!

*747 no longer in service to St Maarten. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.