“WAR!’ the hat yelled. “We gonna bomb those fuckers good!” “Do you have to be so bloodthirsty?" the hair asked. “Oh, here he goes. Mr. Peace. Mr. Don’t-Want-No-Trouble-Mister.” “Yeah, yeah.” “Bok-bok-bok,” the hat chickened. “I just don’t think we have any business in...
“Shake his hand, John,” Lump whispered. “We will need somewhere to go after the lunatics in the party drives us off.” “What if Gisele finds out?” John asked. “What, is she going to somehow hate you more?” The State of the Union scrum was loud and people surged around...
“Why did you let me get so drunk on that stuff?” the hair asked, miserable, perched on Donald’s shoulder like a parrot about to vomit. “I didn’t let you do anything,” the hat said. “I’m not your Cracky.” “I miss that guy,” the hair said. “We all miss that guy,” the...
The Femblasian Candidate
When you get stoned on the cloudy breezy desert afternoon
Nevertheless, she peed herself.
“The perfect beer for removing ‘no’ from your vocabulary for the night.”
Blood is the rose of mysterious union
WITCH HUNT
Dammit, Torie.
MANY LUMPS
Even the greatest stars dislike themselves in the looking glass.
TikTok’s viral ‘trad wife’ trend accused of ‘romanticizing an era where sexism and racism ruled’ Donning elaborate dresses, fastening an apron around their waist, and popping in their finest pearl earrings (or at least some iteration of pearls) for another round of...
CASH PARTY
the future is mine
Human beings are unreliable things.
Filaments
Everyone knows you were caught with the meat in your mouth.
Moist
Wanna go for a ride?
Weather Balloons
Godless heathens always waltz on the sky
Ficus
The NOPE Files
The pangs of dark delights.