“You want a baby that can catch and eat a mouse? I can find you a baby that can catch and eat a mouse,” the hat said, brimming with confidence. “I don’t want a baby that can catch and eat a mouse,” the hair said. “Why not?” “Because it’s gross,” the hair replied....
NYC Mayor Mamdani releases 9/11 records showing officials misled New Yorkers about air quality around Ground Zero New York — New York City has released more than 170,000 pages of previously undisclosed records about air quality following the September 11, 2001,...
“$LAPTOP memecoin will make us enough money to run for President,” Dark Cracky said, quivering with excitement. “I wish I had hands to rub together in greedy triumphant.” Hunter sucked another lungful of Cracky’s sweet cracky goodness. “You are very wise,” he said and...
I was bored before I even began
Who made who?
As simple as a flower
Take a deep whiff.
The ashes and the fire.
The Price of Betrayal
Learning lines in the rain
“Heel mee,” Dianne groaned through the working section of her twisted mouth. “No, I don’t think so, Dianne,” Hillary said, barely looking up from her pubic topiary. “All-wahs loyul,” Dianne said effortly. “I desherve…” “You deserve nothing,” Hillary said. clip...
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Somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep.
The Long Dark Night of the Cocksucker’s Soul
I AM THE ELECTRIC MESSIAH!
The Femblasian Candidate
When you get stoned on the cloudy breezy desert afternoon
Nevertheless, she peed herself.
“The perfect beer for removing ‘no’ from your vocabulary for the night.”
Blood is the rose of mysterious union
WITCH HUNT
Dammit, Torie.
MANY LUMPS
Even the greatest stars dislike themselves in the looking glass.
TikTok’s viral ‘trad wife’ trend accused of ‘romanticizing an era where sexism and racism ruled’ Donning elaborate dresses, fastening an apron around their waist, and popping in their finest pearl earrings (or at least some iteration of pearls) for another round of...