“Y’all stop teasing them chickens,” Usha hollered to her children, letting the screen door shut behind her. She turned back to the stove, her bare feet slapping on the checkered linoleum. “Usha!” JDcalled, “I’m home.” He set down his knapsack and kissed her on her...
Drunk raccoon found passed out on liquor store floor after breaking in Staff at a Virginia liquor store got a shock on Saturday when they came into work to find the store had been broken into by a very intoxicated raccoon. The "masked bandit" was found passed out in...
"It looks like..." the hat began. "Don't say it," the hair growled. "That you were having..." "Don't." "A bad hair day." The hair launched himself at the hat, screeching in rage, sweeping him off the desk. They landed in a squirming ball on the floor, howling, biting,...
So, I do enjoy writing my Wednesday noon satire shorts, but damn it is difficult when shit likes this is the reality: Straight from Kamala's book. I mean, how can I, a simple monger of filth, compete with this? Also, you daffy dumb bitch, you should have stayed in...
Epstein didn’t mole himself.
Books by women: And the kicker: By the way: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/123852869-morning-glory-milking-farmViolet is a typical, down-on-her-luck millennial: mid-twenties, over-educated and drowning in debt, on the verge of moving into her parent’s basement....
“Now no one can ever burn an American flag again!” Donald said as he signed the Executive Order with a flourish. “Womp womp,” the hat said. “It will never stand up in court,” the hair said. “Not the point,” the hat said, “It’s to get commie fuckos to start burning the...
Does the perfect metaphor exist? Obama Center subcontractor files $40M discrimination lawsuit against engineering firm for overruns A Chicago-based subcontractor is suing one of the firms involved in managing the construction of the Obama Presidential...
“Bear witness!” the hat said grandly as Donald opened the vault. “Yay, a bunch of hats,’ the hair said with all the enthusiasm of roadkill. “Be ye not afraid!” the hat said to the assembled world leaders. They all ignored him. “BE YE NOT AFRAID!” the hat said....
Wherein Donald Trump forces THE RESISTANCE to pretend there is no crime in D.C.I Walked Through Trump’s D.C. Hellscape. It’s Now Clear What Exactly the Feds Are Doing Here. Bewildered by the sudden influx of armed and armored agents swarming my hometown, on Tuesday...
Scripted.
A stunning blizzard of non sequiturs, lies, excuses and equivocations. Never change, New Republic.DOGE’s “Big Balls” Was Beaten Up—and Musk Is Already Lying About It The billionaire claimed that Coristine heroically stopped “a gang of about a dozen young men” from...
“BIG BALLS!” Elon sang, Elon sprang. “BIG BALLS!” Donald cried, waving the African-American into The Oval Office. “Who let him back in?” the hair asked, hat-grumpy. “You can’t buy this sort of PR,” the hat said, hair-blithe. “I’m really proud of Eddie,” Elon said....
The hat and the hair’s phone beeped. A text message. and I’m here The hat groaned. The hair groaned as well. He slithered off his mannequin head perch. “It’s too early for this shit.” Beep. to remind you “Godammit,” the hat muttered. “He’s not going to stop,” the hair...
The shit-fit over The Colbert Show being cancelled pleases SugarFree. The audience for his whiny bullshit anti-humor is literally dying off. He was losing CBS $40,000,000 a year. The real issue is why wasn't he cancelled before now. The conspiracy theory I'm going...
“I love you so much,” Cracky whispered to Hunter, bright eyes piercing, begging to be smoked. “I love you too, Cracky,” Hunter whispered back. He was in his filthy room in his father’s Delaware mansion, in soiled underwear, half-eaten bowls of ramen rotting...
Very close to the perfect Hit&Run thread. It is the thread that convinced me to join it. When you've never read it, note that Viking Moose keep posting on it for years, so only the posts label as "19 years go" are original to the thread.Your Tears Are So Yummy and...
“Does the Epstein List even exist?” the hair asked. “I’m not sure anyone knows,” the hat said. “I said I would release it," Donald said. “Pammy has betrayed me.” “How much sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a disloyal henchman,” the hat misquoted....
I wish there was an outrage organ in the human body that just wore out in about five years and catastrophists like this would die and go to an eternal Zoom meeting where they are tortured forever in the manner of Tantalus, the mute button pulling away as they...
“Rubio is next,” Donald said, “He’s got to go.” “Hey, hey, ho, ho,” the hat chanted. “I don’t like the way he looks at me in press conferences,” Donald said. “Do you guys think we spend too much time just hanging around The Oval Office by ourselves?” the hair asked....
Apparently, this exists. I had no idea.Black Sign Language Black American Sign Language (BASL) or Black Sign Variation (BSV) is a dialect of American Sign Language (ASL)[2] used most commonly by deaf Black Americans in the United States. The divergence from ASL was...
“Fucking Massie,” Donald rumbled, his bald head cool in the summer morning. “He’s a libertarian,” the hat said, “Nobody cares about them.” “He defied me,” Donald said. “And we will primary him,” the hat said. “I’m sure Kentucky has plenty of people that we can...
AOC Reacts After Andrew Cuomo Concedes To Zohran Mamdani In NYC Primary Ocasio-Cortez reacted to the concession by applauding the New York state assemblyman. "Congratulations, @ZohranKMamdani!" the congresswoman, widely seen as the face of the Democratic Party's...
“It’s horrible, it’s terrible, and most of all it’s just a goddamn shame,” the hat said. “I know, I know,” the hair said. “It’s just awful.” “What are you two on about?” Donald asked. The sharp crack of his first can of Diet Coke of the day was as comforting to him as...
“We’re at war, we’re at war!” the hat squealed happily. He made whooshing jet plane noises for a full thirty seconds. “This is not a good thing,” the hair said. “Since when did you get all bleeding heart fag about it?” “I’ve told you before, I’m an isolationist.” “And...