The Hat and The Hair 47: Episode 28

The Hat and The Hair 47: Episode 28

The hat rode Donald onto the stage, an enormous American flag behind them both. Donald smiled at the assembled troops but he let the hat do all the talking. “Men, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war on crime by dying for his Federal District. He won...

Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Nothing matters but the weekend

A stunning blizzard of non sequiturs, lies, excuses and equivocations. Never change, New Republic.DOGE’s “Big Balls” Was Beaten Up—and Musk Is Already Lying About It The billionaire claimed that Coristine heroically stopped “a gang of about a dozen young men” from...

The Hat and The Hair 47: Episode 27

“BIG BALLS!” Elon sang, Elon sprang. “BIG BALLS!” Donald cried, waving the African-American into The Oval Office. “Who let him back in?” the hair asked, hat-grumpy. “You can’t buy this sort of PR,” the hat said, hair-blithe. “I’m really proud of Eddie,” Elon said....

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

The Hat and The Hair: Episode 95

  That was no white-power hand signal at the Kavanaugh hearing, Zina Bash’s husband says Donald lay across this desk, tracing the cracks in the Oval Office ceiling with his finger. “Look at that one,” he said to the hat. “See, it looks like a wheel barrel.” “A...

The Hat and The Hair: Episode 94

Donald Trump Is Not Attending John McCain's Washington D.C. Funeral   “Why can’t I go to the funeral?” Donald whined. He was sitting on the Presidential Shitter and watching Fox and Friends. “John didn’t want you at the funeral,” the hair said. “Why not?” Donald...

The Hat and the Hair: Episode 92

  “Omarosa, my sweet dark berry…” Donald whispered. “She recorded you, Donald,” the hat said in a low Iago hiss. “Maybe she just wanted to hear my voice again,” Donald said. “Recorded, Donald, like with a machine,” the hat said. “She tried to Nixon you, bro.”...

The Hat and The Hair: Episode 86

Trump's Europe trip: Where he's going on his 7-day visit with NATO allies and Putin “I hate Europe,” Donald moaned as his limo inched its way through a throng of people cheerily ringing the bells on their twee bicycles. “I hate it, I hate the people, I hate the food,...

The Hat and The Hair: Episode 85

Trump Interviews 4 Supreme Court Prospects in Rush to Name Replacement “OK, OK,” Donald said, “Let’s get started.” He waved his guests to the seven chairs lined up in front of the Oval Office desk. “Brett, you take that first chair, and then Amy, then Raymond--I'm...