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PART III
MAY, 1780
MÉLISANDE GABLES
LONDON, ENGLAND
“MY GOD,” ELLIOTT breathed as he read the item in the morning paper. The morning room stilled and five pairs of eyes lifted from their plates to look at him. “It appears Viscount Merrill was murdered last night.”
Camille’s mouth dropped open.
Niall and Sandy jumped up to examine the paper over Elliott’s shoulder for themselves, as if he could not read.
“His neck was broken,” Niall read in a hushed tone, “but there were no heights nearby from which he could have fallen.”
The countess and Sophie exchanged glances, their mouths pursed, and the countess muttered, “I was not aware nonexistent spines could be broken.”
Sophie snorted. Elliott almost laughed. But Milly choked, then began to weep.
“Camille Mélisande,” the countess snapped. “Hush that caterwauling right this instant. You carried no tendre for him. Indeed, you were barely acquainted.”
“Almost married!” she wailed.
“And if you had been, you would be a wealthy widow now and free as a bird without feeling the need to put out to sea like a common sailor.” Elliott’s eyebrow rose. “Cease this noise. You’re upsetting Humbert.”
Upset was not precisely accurate: The pug patriarch was bouncing around barking joyously at the noise, for he was too stupid to know better.
“Your pragmatism is to be commended, my lady,” Elliott observed, tipping his teacup at her before taking a sip.
She curled her lip at him. “It is no different today than it was yesterday, Tavendish.”
“Tavendish again, is it? You must still be angry with me.”
“Being ordered about in my own home does tend to make me peevish, yes.”
“Ah, now you have the leash about your neck, it is not so much to your liking. What time are Lady Hylton and Miss Bancroft set to arrive?”
Her nostrils flared. “Eleven of the clock, as is proper.”
Niall snatched the paper out of Elliott’s hand and returned to his seat. Sandy followed suit. “He was found by Iddlesleigh’s gardener early this morning and the Runners were called in.”
“I am also overset by your facilitation of Camille’s plans, which I do not find to be in the least bit pragmatic.”
“You really need not fear on her behalf, Mother. Fury is more than capable of protecting her.”
“You should be happy, Mama,” Milly muttered at her, sitting back and crossing her arms over her chest. “I may become like Lucy and Sophie, as you have always wished.”
“They have no clues as to the murderer or motive,” Niall continued.
“Fascinating!” Sandy proclaimed, sitting forward. “I will contact Bow Street and ask if they require assistance.”
Elliott snorted.
“I simply cannot understand why you have always conducted yourself so delicately,” the countess shot at Camille. “I did not raise you to be such a fragile flower.”
“Then for God’s sake, why are you against this?”
“You must admit it a good question, Mother,” Elliott said smoothly.
“I did not want it to happen like that.”
“Every Iddlesleigh servant has been questioned and no one can or will identify anything else amiss.”
“More to the point,” Milly sneered, “you wanted me to buckle to your will, and it galls you I am willing to buckle to some other woman’s—a woman who has real freedom that was not granted her by an indulgent male relative.”
Lady Tavendish lost her color and, apparently, her appetite, as she laid her fork down gently in her plate.
Oh, now that was interesting.
Her chin lifted and she stared at Milly haughtily. “When did you acquire such capacity for logic?”
The entire table went still as everyone gaped at her, including Elliott.
Milly’s jaw clenched. “I always had it,” she croaked, her face flushed with anger and her fist clenched around her silver spoon so that Elliott feared it would bend. “You simply have no respect for my bookishness, as if I could not learn to reason some other way. Is it because I love fine things, clothes, feathers, and such? Because I take care with my toilette? Because I do not want spartan apartments? Because I do not go out riding like a berserker every morning as Sophie does or aspire to a man’s occupation as Lucy does?”
The countess looked to Elliott helplessly, but he raised his hands. “Do not look to me for sympathy, Mother. Did you and I not have this discussion just yesterday? We—Milly and I—do not value what you think we should value and we refuse to yield; therefore, the only conclusion you can draw is that we are somehow lacking of wit.”
He looked to Milly. “Make no mistake, Milly. Fury would not have that freedom without men guiding her. Selfish ones, though, who kept her for their own purposes. Dunham because he did not want to leave the sea to find a wife and make a proper home on land for her, and her mentor because—”
“Tavendish!”
Elliott cleared his throat. “Mm, quite right.”
Sophie heaved a longsuffering sigh.
“I would argue,” Elliott continued benignly, “that Father did not indulge Mother so much as depend on her to ply her strengths to his weaknesses whilst he did what he was best at, which was being a statesman. And I am coming to learn what an extraordinary one he was. I never knew, and I am really rather ashamed of that.” He paused. “In short, Mother was Father’s partner, each pursuing their own loves whilst bettering the other and strengthening the pair, thus the family.”
It was, in fact, what he craved to have with Celia.
He arched an eyebrow at his sister. “One could not find that with, perhaps, an attractive young pirate.”
Camille went ashen, but she snapped, “Claims he who has found that very pirate.”
He grinned, then looked to his mother, whose eyes glistened with moisture. “Perhaps we should make a barrister of her, eh, Mother?”
“Lord, I cannot wait to get on that ship,” Milly snarled as she arose and threw her linen into her plate, then stormed out of the room.
The room was still and silent until Niall looked at Sandy and said, “I haven’t had such rousing entertainment in ages.”
If you don’t want to wait 2 years to get to the end, you can buy it here.
Pirates!
Not exactly a Mormon family night now, was it?
Considering Mormons didn’t exist until 1830, I guess … no?
I was playing with the trope; I suppose I should’ve gone with “Happy families are all alike…”.
Oh, I’ve used that one before. 😉
Was at CFA earlier this week when an SUV pulls up and a family of 7 gets out. No tshirts, and boys were wearing slacks and collar shirts. Half second thought it might be Mennonites except no lace doilies on the women’s heads.
One of my last days at the gas station, a Mennonite family came in. Used the restrooms and purchased some candy of some such. Their driver was waiting outside. A couple kids, not of working age, were present. May have been a Sunday, but don’t recall.
The Iran war is over. Huzzah! Just in time for a victory parade and cinco de mayo TACOs.
Mmmm… tacos. Wait… wut?
Tortilla avocado chicken onion?
Tits Are Cool Oiled
Tinnitus accentuates cuckoldy organisms
*taps ear*
Id actually applaud Trump’s declaration that the War Powers Act was unconstitutional and that any pause or cessation of activities warrants a reset — if we weren’t actively engaged in any actual fucking war or any casus belli actions.
You got the nature of a Pug correct. Another interesting episode Moj.
Thanks!
If I wasn’t lazy and cared I’d dig into this more. The USDA claims that the average household with children who is on SNAP uses the benefits for just 12 months. It’s the elderly that are on it longest they say.
Digging a little deeper looking for actual studies, I found this gem:
A significant segment of users, particularly those with persistent low income, children, or in female-householder families, are classified as long-term participants, lasting up to 37-48 accumulated months.
Before 2018 the USDA apparently had no longitudinal study on SNAP users which sounds insane to me and until 2025 with Trump 2.0 there was no push for states to give the feds data on who was using it.
There is no clear answer I can find as to what percentage of families are on SNAP long term. Roughly 33% of SNAP users are considered “long term” users – those over 2 years. Somewhere between 20-30% are on it for over 5 years it seems like.
I don’t know. This should be pretty easy data to find with quick searches. I don’t want to sit here and read a 200 page USDA report to see if it’s hidden somewhere in there, but the google AI is going out of its way to spit this info out and it’s obviously not blasted on the USDA website.
Anecdata: the only SNAP users I have known personally, all women, were long term users. Have never known a man on SNAP. Haven’t known, to my knowledge, any elderly on SNAP.
This was my question to CHATGPT: “is there any published data on the makeup of families and the length of time said families participated in the u.s. government SNAP program”.
Got an interesting answer and links. If I wasn’t falling asleep in my chair… well. Nighty-night.
My mom was on food stamps for some years. Single mom raising a bunch of kids. She was working and off the dole by the time I was in my early teens.
I had a weird homeless summer between college years where I got them for one month. I ate well that month.
Zooms are quiet….
RIP Spirit Air
I’m glad Niall joined me in enjoyment. I oddly ‘get’ the marriage-as-contract end, particularly the medieval variety. ‘Selling’ off daughters to create alliances, and such. (Yes, ‘not so different than today’ talk ‘n all…)
I like rankled Milly. Methinks I wouldn’t want her ‘arranged’ for me, though. (I *know* she wouldn’t approve of my hand towels.)
You wouldn’t mind be rankled by Milly, would you, Evan? Let’s dispense with the dispensing.
(Shhhhhh. My piece on dispensing at Meijer isn’t yet finished. Have a shift there tomorrow morning. Will take pics.)
Look, Ev, Milly’s taken. She’s got a Greek pirate on the hook.
I stumbled across some African-on-African shenanigans. South Africans (the black kind) are popping off about other African immigrants coming in. It’s all pretty fucking funny in between the comments from and about the evils of the white man (which is also funny, though in a different way):
I’ll stop there.
Some South African needs to put on a really ugly Trump wig and start a political movement. I guarantee they’d get into power.
MSAGA (OWOWP) – Make South America Great Again (Only Without White People)