“Do we even want to have a nuclear war?” Vlad asked Joe over the red emergency telephone. “It...

  “I’ve always felt like a Puerto Rican,” Joe mumbled. “Dancing street gangs, switchblades, really loud...

  “The pandemic is over,” Joe said sadly. “I know, Mr. President,” Karine said. “But you weren’t...

  “Hello. My name is Joe Biden. I am standing here on land stolen from the Nacho Truck peoples.” “Cut!...

  “And the war is going well?” Joe asked. “Very well, sir,” Karine said. “Gas prices in Europe should...

  “Of all the bad ideas you’ve had, this has to be the worst,” Finnegan said, holding the chicken as...

  Joe roared, grabbed a ficus, and began to hump it vigorously, laughing and crying by turns as the...

    Pens. There’s a lot of pens. Ow. My neck. My neck hurts. Why does my neck hurt? Pen. There’s a...

  “They just barged right in,” the hat said. “It was really scary.” “I bet it was,” the hair said, the...