All the old time Progs are descending on our little village this weekend for the Reunion. It started for me last night with a table full of affluent women in their late 30s demanding to know if the wine we had was organic. And if it had sulfites. And if we maintained...
Falafel is one of those Middle Eastern dishes that everyone claims, everyone has their own version, and everyone uses to demonize the Jews. And it's the equivalent of hamburgers to Israelis, an everyday meal available on every street corner. The Israeli version uses...
Prime texted me, "I have a really good friend you haven't met yet, another doc. We're having drinks and I told her about you. Can you make it to dinner on the 6th?" And then a few quotes which led me to believe that her friend was an Actual Jew and one with a sense of...
Our little village is having a No Kings protest today at our traffic light. As usual, I will show up with drinks and snacks to hand out. And as usual, I will be painfully aware that these people are actually just fine with kings, they just want King Obama back in one...
"Not today, you filthy old man." We seemed to have slipped past the equinox and into official Spring without much notice. Especially outside here where there's still sheets of ice and piles of snow. We might actually have above-freezing temps today, which would be...
Oddly, we had our local election in Glibs Gulch on Wednesday rather than Tuesday because of a state law forbidding elections on St. Patrick's Day. That seems counterintuitive since before voting is absolutely the most appropriate time to take a few slugs. In any case,...
"I am the candidate for simple farmers, people of the land. The common clay." I bet you thought I'd talk about the impending St. Patrick's Day and the annual excuse for alcoholic excess. Especially given my Irish heritage- my family originates in the eastern part of...
Friday the 13th being an unlucky day is just a superstition, right? Ask Spud. He was planning to put a water feature at his house here in the Gulch. However, an unplanned one in the interior of the house was not what he had in mind. A heating line burst and for...
Honk, honk.
Well, we survived the kids' party yesterday. They all ran around screaming and unattended upstairs while the dads, moms, and otherkins sat downstairs drinking heavily. We're still cleaning up. But there were only two ER trips, the cops only came once for a welfare...
The students have all left for Spring Break, so WebDom and 10b0t thought they'd close our little café for the weekend and get some badly-needed time off. So of course the (((Grinch))), always eager for revenue, booked a kids' birthday party just to foil their plans....
[Goyische Editor's Note: If you think you've seen this before, it's because you have. At least twice. (((OMWC))) published this in 2017, and again in 2021. You know how old ppl like to tell the same stories over and over...] You goyim may be familiar with the High...
With the sudden onset of tolerable weather (it's going to be up to 23° in Went To The Moon units), I will be outside finishing up my fence extensions for a better confinement of a dog who identifies as an antelope. Then down to the café to meet, greet, shake hands,...
Here in the Gulch, we on the Planning Board are wrestling with a controversy, STRs. Initially, I thought that was some kind of venereal disease but it turns out to mean "short term rentals," as in "AirBnB or VRBO." Given the bright vivid Blue of the village's makeup,...
Banjos and Sloopy are out today, so The Old Guy steps in. Planning Board and Board of Trustees for the Gulch are having a joint meeting tonight to discuss our latest controversy: short term rentals (e.g., VRBO, AirBnB), how to zone and regulate. I suspect you know...
In which Prime and I escape the snowy climes of WNY.
Keep your fucking beignets, Goy Boy. We got hamantashen. They may have been partying down in NoLa, but at the same time, I kept thinking, "This is a really poor-ass version of Purim." Which it is. Nobody parties like drunk Jews. They sometimes even spend money. So...
I feel for you. For each and every one of you. I feel your pain, your sadness, but also your joy, and your happiness. What am I saying? The only thing I feel is horny. And greedy. While Spud is gallivanting around Hawaii on his honeymoon, Prime and I decided to trash...
St. Hallmark is the patron saint of useless synthetic holidays. I will spend this one babysitting Sweet Baby James, then making some pizza for Prime and me, with accompanying adult beverages. Unlike Spud, I did not get married this week, so I'm still allowed to be...
Putting aside the good news about Sweet Baby James taking his first steps and Prime and I having our first alcohol-free date (we went to a cult restaurant specializing in buckwheat pancakes and maple syrup, open only two months a year), I have more amusing local...
Exciting days here in the Gulch. Every little village needs a crazy guy wandering the streets. In our case, it's the son of a professor, the latter notorious for her rather eccentric behavior (like hitting on me). He was trespassed from our little business a year or...
Sunday without football seems... empty. I look at the four walls around me and wonder, "Why? What's it all about? Our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness." But eventually, there will be again 22 physically large multimillionaires...
Isn't it nice to have the most cliché possible picture? Holy shit, January is almost over. Maybe it's an age thing, maybe it's me being busy and time flying, but it doesn't feel like we could already be a month in. This weekend will drag, of course, because no...
Here in the Gulch, we had our Team Red and Team Blue caucuses (cauci?) this week to nominate candidates for the village Board of Trustees. Now me, I always think of trustees as some position for squealers in a prison, but here it applies to the elite set of...
One effect of the frigid weather is that it's driven some of the local rodent population indoors. Couple that with the closure of the pharmacy next door who kept a semi-feral cat and we suddenly have mice paying us a visit. In our attempt to be a muroid Auschwitz, we...