Drunk raccoon found passed out on liquor store floor after breaking in Staff at a Virginia liquor store got a shock on Saturday when they came into work to find the store had been broken into by a very intoxicated raccoon. The "masked bandit" was found passed out in...
"It looks like..." the hat began. "Don't say it," the hair growled. "That you were having..." "Don't." "A bad hair day." The hair launched himself at the hat, screeching in rage, sweeping him off the desk. They landed in a squirming ball on the floor, howling, biting,...
The key to looking youthful is Swamp Thing semen. Also, it makes you delusional. "Do you know what it is like to hate? When it goes deep down inside?" The press junket for Wicked is just Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo having some sort of weird lesbian...
Donald Fudgebody had him by the throat!
Ezra Miller died right before their eyes.
What the world needs now is another folk singer, like I need a hole in my head.
“You let him ride a bicycle?” Tony asked, incredulous, his voice booming from the speakers of his isolation pod. “He wanted to,” Dr. Jill Biden said petulantly. She fingered the stethoscope around her neck nervously. “Nothing can happen to him before midterms,”...
How does it feel to know you’ve just won again?
Blame
That isn’t a Photoshop
At the time you were a rake and a roustabout, spending all your money on the whores and hounds.
untz
It's just a stutter. It's just a stutter. It's just a stutter. The hat and the hair were both sitting on the desk in the Office of the President the United States In Exile when Donald walked in, short little steps to main balance, a Diet Coke in one hand and...
[untitled SugarFree project]
Hugging? Ew.
Enact my labor, Starbucks! Squeeze that nut!
Never, never, never
“Son, you must be fucking high.”
It’s time for Aborto-maniacs
And we’re zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You’ll laugh ’til you collapse
We’re Aborto-maniacs!
Screwed-up eyes and screwed-down hairdo
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“My body feels young but my mind is very old” (It’s the opposite for me.)
Why are they lone wolves if there are three of them?
And a party that will never stop
Happy