“I have brought peace to the Middle East,” Donald said. “I have healed a rift and led Jews and Palestinians to the Promised Land.” “Hallelujah!” the hat said jubilantly. “Preach Brother Donald!” “I will win the Nobel Peace Prize!” Donald exulted. “Um…” the hair began....
“Candace said that Charlie came to her in a dream,” the hat said. “When did you talk to her?” the hair asked. “When you were asleep a little while ago,” the hat said. “We talk on the phone sometimes.” “Anyone else, like anyone else,” the hair said. “At least Nick...
cref diagram #78
fancy new terms
A one-way trip.
Editor’s Note: The sound of children screaming has been removed.
¡Caliente!
Why was the bench still warm? Who had been there?
Good times make men hard.
Donald Fudgebody had him by the throat!
Ezra Miller died right before their eyes.
What the world needs now is another folk singer, like I need a hole in my head.
“You let him ride a bicycle?” Tony asked, incredulous, his voice booming from the speakers of his isolation pod. “He wanted to,” Dr. Jill Biden said petulantly. She fingered the stethoscope around her neck nervously. “Nothing can happen to him before midterms,”...
How does it feel to know you’ve just won again?
Blame
That isn’t a Photoshop
At the time you were a rake and a roustabout, spending all your money on the whores and hounds.
untz
It's just a stutter. It's just a stutter. It's just a stutter. The hat and the hair were both sitting on the desk in the Office of the President the United States In Exile when Donald walked in, short little steps to main balance, a Diet Coke in one hand and...
[untitled SugarFree project]
Hugging? Ew.
Enact my labor, Starbucks! Squeeze that nut!
Never, never, never
“Son, you must be fucking high.”
